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Grumpy ole men..

Dec 06, 2015 2:36 PM

So my mom and sister and yes even me at times get upset with dad. He is 80 years old has two cancers and has been a bit of a hot head all his life. And now that he is sick. He is a needy ole hot head. Lol.. Yes he does upset us by his demanding ways and barking of orders. And now that me and my mom are out of commission he is having to dona lot for himself. My sister is a no nonsense tyoe person. And she is giving him the business.. Lol

Dec 06, 2015 3:55 PM

Don't you worry Sweetie!! Doing stuff for himself, I think he will get used to it and then surprise you with not being so dependent. I'm sure he'll still be an old kermudgeon because at 86, he is in pain, angry, bored and think he feels like less of a man. Think about it, he was a soldier, he was the protector and he was the sole breadwinner and loved to take care of his family. Now he needs help with things and resents it. It's hard for them but the more he does for himself, he'll realize he's not helpless and it may boost his spirits. I'm going to fall asleep. I keep drifting off in the middle of s thought and my fingers keep typing jibberish. I keep startling awake again because I think my body knows that I'm trying to get these messages back fo you 💕😊

Dec 06, 2015 4:01 PM

Thanks alwayz.. I made that point to them. My dad has always been a hard man. He's never been the gumdrops bubble pops type of man so this is not a far reach for him..ha.. I mean I love my dad but i know him and yes I get upset but I'm learning to just let it be. Lol but your right too. He did work very hard when he was working so now he is just sitting around. So your right

Dec 06, 2015 4:33 PM

I'm glad that I could give you a perspective from someone who also had a heard headed and firm Dad. He wasn't easy either but I always knew he love my Mom and us and always felt safe with him. I can't imagine a man (especially from the generation that our Dads came from), all of a sudden not being able to take care of his family the way he always did and to feel like he was failing. Then, being sick and not being able to fully take care of himself, sitting around all the time, he's bored. I'm sure there are many things he used to do when it was the weekend like clean the garage, organize his tools (my Dad was an auto mechanic for 60 years), futz around in the yard (mowing, raking, etc). So, all of that taken away from a man who spent his life working hard, protecting his family and taking care of things around the house fixing things that were broken and it must be traumatizing. Men being the creatures they are, don't dealve into emotions. So, he keeps them all tucked away and along with his worries for your Mom and for you, it has to be scary for him. No parent wants to see their children hurting (and it doesn't matter how old you get, you'll always be their child). Just try to cut him some slack but... If he gets out of hand you need to step in and say, look, I know this is difficult, it is for all of us, I'm doing the best I can. You got this, I have faith that you do. Just keep your mind relaxed, know that we are here for you and that this is not a permanent situation. That is a major factor here, and just remember that you can handle pretty much anything that is temporary and as long as you focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, you'll get closer by the day to all of this care taking being a part of the past. Hang in there and remember that you're not alone and you have and will continue to have your pain family behind you.{{{{Hugs}}}}💕🙏🏻🌻

Dec 06, 2015 6:32 PM

Thank you alwayz..I'll keep that in mind. It's always been hard for me to stand up to my parents in any way. But I'm having to learn new skills. Or rather I'm learning how to apply the skills I have as a special ED and pre school teacher and as a chef to my parents. ( not that I'm comparing them to children or people who have special needs ) but in a way I have to see it in that way.
I hope you have gotten. Some sleep and your feelings g well . take care

Dec 07, 2015 9:29 PM

Newfibrogirl, both my dad (85) & my hubby (57) are grumpy old men when they feel bad, and sometimes even when they don't! Lol 🙏🌼

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