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Had a good run...

Jul 16, 2015 3:13 PM

For the pass week I was given the green light to take morphine 5mg at dinner time. I am on 45mg of amitripline / day, hydrocodone 5mg twice a day and was tKing morphine 5mg a day. This fixed me up pretty well everyday. These are not high dose narcotics meds compared to a lot of people.

Today after a follow up, I was told not to take anymore morphine on a daily basis but only as needed. I was on the as needed plan for 3 weeks and every week I had been coming back to tell them that I struggle towards end of the working day and by the time I get home, I will fail to function towards the next day. Then it becomes a vicious cycle where I work for one day and spend 2 days after that in bed.

I've been through this cycle long enough and even though I don't like following this advice but I will. I feel like maybe it's an addiction for me but if anyone knows how flare up feels like, they don't want to go through that. Even after I had my daily dose of morphine today, I still feel a lot of pain.....I don't know what or how to tell the doctor what I'm going through, so sick and tired myself having to explain myself to everybody.

Good bye to the good week I had.

Jul 16, 2015 3:23 PM

I'm so sorry. That stinks. I'd like to see some of these docs in this pain for an hour let alone chronically

Jul 16, 2015 3:31 PM

It's been four years in and out of hospital and I've consumed a lot of Panadol and ibrufen through this whole time. I'm really scared of flare ups and I rather have the prevention better than cure cycle. I've had all necessary surgery done, and yet still needing to explain myself. Maybe it's due to age, I'm 30+.

The doctor has a point though, how can someone consume such drugs forever. I'm soo torn between been happy with meds or be sore and sorry for myself for the rest of my life.

Jul 17, 2015 10:42 AM

I'm so sorry Octobot. Like you I've had many surgeries, all necessary. And it seems each time something else is done my pain increases. I've wondered if it's somewhat mental stress of the expectation of pain. It has begun to bother me to have blood taken but each time I can feel myself tense up because of painful attempts by techs. I now tell them just do it and don't warn me.

I'm 53 and doctors look at my list of surgery and meds histories and I can almost see it in their face, "this lady's high risk. How can I pass her off to someone else?". That's why I was so relieved and impressed by the Mayo experience.

It seems flare ups come easily on the heels of any activity above and beyond a day of rest & general ADLs. Is there anything you can pinpoint as triggers, or do you have any non medicinal ways to help the pain? Not working it's easier for me to rest at the first sign. But that's not the case for many others. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. My heart aches for each of you when flaring especially. 🙏🌼

Jul 17, 2015 11:34 AM

You know, I'm really sorry but that just sucks!! As needed was just as you were taking it!! I'm on 100mg of morphine 3x a day plus other stuff and I can just function. 5mg wouldn't even stop withdrawals for me when I have to skip meds to be somewhere. Tell him that you need them and that being on such a minimal dose should not be taken away from you since you were doing so much better. You'll be in my prayers. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Jul 18, 2015 3:14 PM

Thanks always and flappy. I've made up my mind already. Next visit going in I'm just going to rant about my current quality of life if any left. I was doing ok for one week and she wants to take it from me. I rather be happy now than die miserably. I've never been given repeats once. Alwayz, she was looking in the system for smaller dosage and when she found none. I'm like duh!

Jul 18, 2015 3:47 PM

It breaks my heart hearing the emotional stress due to the physical pain & treatment reduction you're in! I would definitely let the doc know the decline in your ADL's due to the pain. If a doctor isn't abusing the rx they write then they shouldn't be afraid to write rx for patients they know are being responsible. Be honest. (((Hugs)))! 🙏🌼

Jul 18, 2015 5:36 PM

Flappy lady and allwayzinpain said it good yor all in my prayers

Jul 18, 2015 8:11 PM

You are all in my prayers 🙏🏼

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