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Hate waking up angry

Jan 21, 2016 6:54 AM

I'm not sure if I've posted this before. But I know I've felt this oh so often. I wake up in the morning or just get up in the morning and all the things I don't have or can't do come flooding back. Dealing with a gkinft mom standing over me first thing in the morning and thinking how I have so many bills i cant pay and so many more coming I won't be able to pay . the pain the emotional upset the lack of understanding just all of it. My car battery has died can get anyone to come help me jumo it off been thinking bod jumping it myself. I can goole it.. Yea ..I know.. But I have these and more thoughts every morning.. I try positive thinking and changing how I see things looking at what I have but all I have is tied to others and there willingness to give it. So its not really mine. Sorry this is long and I probably sound selfish but this is really the only place I can get stuff like this out.

Jan 21, 2016 7:16 AM

Not selfish in the least newfibrogirl totally understandable too. Many of us I'm sure feel this way at some point I know I do where life seems so unfair and cruel and you resent what your life has become through no fault of your own. All I can say is this site is for those moments, the other warriors can lift, understand and make you feel less alone and less of a bad person for having these thoughts and feelings. Vent away its healthy to get itout. Sadly many of those who aren't in the situatiodont quite get it, offering a little help can make all the difference when you feel so misunderstood and alone. Its hard when you have people who either don't want to talk about it or just can't understand all that goes with pain Ill health and life worries. There are plenty on here that do get it though and go through it themselves. I'm in debt be cause of being unable to work and its a constant worry where money for bills etc will come from. Not sure where you are based I'm in the UK and we have people, charities that can help sort payment plans etc for you and people you owe money to I hope you have something similar where you are.hoping and praying for better times and thoughts for you ahead lovey. Have you any support groups for your conditions near you? Or help lines etc maybe that might help knowing you have someone to talk to about everything. But as I say you certainly are not alone or selfish in having anger at the way life has gone but also one day you will be able to accept the life given and it's challenges and beat it by living a life although not the one you hoped for but one better than it is now. With time comes acceptance with acceptance comes happiness. Stay strong lovey. You'll get there one day and you will meet people who give Life as well as take. 🌸

Jan 21, 2016 10:23 AM

Thank you cnan...I do have programs and what not around. I'm in the US . that's one thing that has be bummed too. I've got a long list of places to call to get hell with scripts equipment ect. It's a little demeaning ..at least for me. But I know I have to put pride down. I have to find a way to help my family. And get some help for myself. My uncle who also have fibromayalgia has told me that I should consider getting a phycologists. And find a group like this or some place I can gonrot talk to people and get my feelings out. He knows the pain and how it is to live like this. I'm blessed to have someone so close to give me tips but instill have to do this on my own. Thank you for making me feel not so bad.
IRS hard talking to my family mom is the type that turns everything back to her. So if it tell her how I feel ill send uo comforting her because she'll tell me how my pain hurts her. Ha..my sister is busy working and lives on her own. So basically its me. My dad is ill himself.. Cancer.. So I don't bother him.. I do want some kind of like ..I really do

Jan 21, 2016 11:43 AM

Pride is a good thing unless it halts you from accessing the assistance you need to keep your life easier and others that you care for. It'd a shame you cannot talkmto your mum without it ending up in a counter counselling session. Its sounds wrong but its good that your uncle has fibro and can understand some of the pain and difficulties you have. Maybe a psychologist /psychotherapist would be a useful person to have helping you as at least with cognitive behavioural therapy they can give you coping mechanism as well as someone to chat to when you can't talk to those around you. Sorry to hear your dad has cancer, sadly that's affected to many of my family to mention them all but I know the stress of this won't be helping you either, again something a psychology person could help you with. I know about sisters lol mine is the same I guess, she has her little world and family but sadly I'm not really included very often . anger is a natural part of grieving and you are probably grieving the life you once knew and wanted to have in the future. You will get there one day at a time hun. I still get days where I.could fight someone just for breathing to loud it seems lol

😀 the steam feels like its about to come out my ears nose and probably ar*e given chance. Guess you have to seek the good things in a crappy life sometimes, the beautiful sunset or sunrise if your like me in that sleep eludes you much of the time. Little things like that, a small positive (no matter how small) in each day. Loves and hugs xx

Jan 21, 2016 8:48 PM

Newfibrogirl, you aren't being selfish and there's no reason to apologize for voicing the negative feelings. That's why this community is so good, because we are here to provide support I in the good and bad. We all have days like you're having, even me. Even in the Bible, those who were suffering voiced discontent with their situations. Even Jesus did at several points, but always deferred to God's will. Anger isn't bad in itself, but what we do with that anger can be detrimental. There's not one person I know who doesn't have anger at situations in their lives which they have no control. Please don't feel bad about voicing here. I'm sending you hugs, and prayers that tomorrow will be a better day! πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

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