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Hatred of going to work...

Aug 15, 2016 6:28 AM

Just venting...Sorry.
I am getting ready to head off to work but it is so hard. I have missed a lot of work over the past 3 yrs. and it has affected my work relationships. I own that I missed the time but my coworkers treat me horribly when I am there. All it does it make my stress levels rise and make me feel worse. It makes going so hard. And it going to get worse today because I have to tell them that I am having surgery which that I will be gone even more.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with bad coworkers?

Aug 15, 2016 7:08 AM

Hi Amy 🌷so nice to meet u
What do u do for a living sweetie?
Are ur co-workers in need of a personality transplant?! πŸ€” nightmare hunni... 🐴 and vent all u want...😚never apologise... here there is no need... πŸ€—we all need a vent or two put in! ⚘⚘⚘

Aug 15, 2016 7:16 AM

I am a Production Assurance Analyst. I love my job and used to like my coworkers. But since I started getting sick, they have been horrid. It is making me want to look for another job and I don't want to do that. I have been with my company for 10 yrs. But I cannot stand it. I get enough guilt from the people that I love, I can't handle the guilt from people that merely acquaintances.

Aug 15, 2016 7:58 AM

Hi Amy, have you ever tried discussing your missing work and your medical condition with your co-workers? I know it is difficult for others who don't suffer from a chronic (and invisible) illness to understand. But maybe it is worth a try? Before talking to the entire group, you could maybe talk 1-on-1 with the person you trust most?

Aug 15, 2016 8:33 AM

Since I didn't work while I am going through my journey I can tell you what a fellow worker did when I worked with her. She brought in printed material to share with us individual ly and ask our help to find questions for her to ask the doctors. Then she called the human resources corporate department. You already know you are having surgery so share your fears and maybe ask the 'best' friend to lunch and start there. Warning is not to 'ask for pity', even if you aren't, the way you word things may sound like it .

Aug 15, 2016 9:32 AM

I have talked to them. Explaining that I don't want sympathy just understanding. I wanted them to know what I was going through. It didn't matter. I even talked our manager. But she is too afraid to rock the boat to say anything to them.

Aug 15, 2016 9:48 AM

Hunni...im so sorry but get a new job! Its time.... part of being able to cope with a chronic illness... is making life as stress free as possible. Stress is directly correlated to ur daily pain... and if these people are making u upset... they are ignoramus' and more fool them for not showing u compassion. U are a beutiful young lady.. in need of empathy and love... and boy do i know how family members can be! Thats enough for any girl. Perhaps u need a change of direction! Whatever happens... whatever you decide... weare all right here behind u... egging u on and holding ur hand... or just listening to u vent. Seriously... its time to look after u... their loss chick... dont look back!

Aug 15, 2016 2:03 PM

Amy, since you have gone to the co-workers and the manager and nothing has been done, I would begin looking for alternatives in my job. Sit down and write your pros and cons of staying and leaving and see what you come up with. Look, as Lulabel said, chronic pain and stress are linked and if it's getting harder to go to work because the co-workers are assholes and your manger is a coward, you need to leap off that ship and onto another. I'm sure there are other companies that do what you do. Competition perhaps? Maybe you can freelance? I don't know but I wouldn't allow that extra stress in my life. I have enough from people I know and love. I'll be damned if I'm going to let people who, for all practical purposes mean nothing to me, make me feel guilty. It's not worth your precious time or energy. Give it some thought. We're all here for you. Hang in there, Amy, sending gentle {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Aug 15, 2016 8:24 PM

Hi Amy. If i was you, i would be calling the appropriate authorities . As you have told your manager and nothing has been done. Is there someone higher up you can go talk too? If so, go speak with them and tell them your manager has done nothing.

Aug 16, 2016 12:16 PM

I think that I am going to take to time that I am recoving from surgery woth and apply for other jobs. You guys are right. As I sit here at my desk today, it feels toxic. I need out of here.

Aug 16, 2016 1:50 PM

Be strong sweetie... u can do this 😚 take care of urself. Time for a new positive energy in ur life. πŸ€—
Fabulous news ⚘⚘

Aug 17, 2016 6:38 AM

Hi Amy - I know what it is like to hate the thought of being at work because of the way you are treated for an invisible disability. My suggestion is to document everything and keep asking for help. Document the date & time things you ask for, things other people do/say, symptoms that get worse at work, etc. Do it in pen and in a book with bound pages - not a binder. My coworkers were fine to me, but I had an awful time with my supervisor last year for missing time due to pain & surgery. This after being really well-supported at work for my challenges with pain & previous surgeries. I also had a fair number of notes from my doctor requesting accommodations. After things getting worse & me missing a lot of time, I finally got asked to go for an independent exam. It was really stressful, but because I've always been honest, it completely supported what help I needed and addressed the toxic work environment that was created. And now, a lot of things have been changed for the better. But without having the documentation I did, I wouldn't have been able to show what needed to be changed. So, if you choose to look for a new job, I'd keep documenting what happens at this one, especially around the time of your surgery.

Aug 17, 2016 6:54 AM

Im going through a similar thing at work myself new boss didnt believe me at first took him all my hospital notes. Now he treats me like I could keel over at any time its worse. I do write thongs down keep notes of everything. Also HR need to converse with my Dr to see the extent of my conditions is that even legal.... anyway from personal experience do jot things down with date and time this will help you if things do not improve over a space of time then go to your HR department and see about unfair treatment. Discrimination due to disability. See what your options are look at company policies for this sort of thing xx

Aug 17, 2016 12:14 PM

Pray and let God fight your battle

Aug 17, 2016 12:58 PM

Hi Amy, Is it possible to do your job at home?

Aug 18, 2016 10:12 AM

AmyB, I was in a job where the office was constantly bickering with each other. I did my best to avoid the car fighting but had to close the door to my cubicle, only it didn't stop me from hearing the turmoil. I finally had enough and found another job, one I liked even better. Changing jobs also lowered my blood pressure, avoiding being put on meds to lower it. Seriously my BP was so high while there my doc almost put me on meds! Focus on your surgery. Real to your HR Dept, and while recuperating look elsewhere. Good luck & God bless, with hugs love & prayers! πŸ™‚πŸ’•πŸ™πŸŒΈ

Jun 27, 2018 8:23 PM

AmyB7399, remember some people are naturally mean jerks , be it co-workers, friends and even some family members. I say this because raised stress causes inflammation . You do not owe them any Information
about your surgery, that is only for you managers and supervisors. But remember this during your absence they will miss your presence. I know from experience I elected to work only 3 weeks, and now the sneaky slackers finally had to come out of the Bathroom stalls. . So keep the faith Girl

Jun 30, 2018 5:57 AM

I understand how you are feeling when it comes to co-workers.
I use to be the get it done guy and now I have to ask for help when things get really bad. I am sure some of my co-workers think I am faking, but I don't care about them, just about what the Boss thinks.
When this hit me hard, I had to sit him down and tell him, that I am not that same man he knew and I told him why and what I know about what I have.

It's pretty bad when you are explaining what happening with tears in your eyes. My job is physical, so by the end of the day, I am lucky that I can still walk.

I might be a little luckier than you, because I have a unionized job. I have some protections that you my not

The people I have any problems with don't exist to me. If I have to work with someone I don't like or doesn't like me I do my job to the best of my abilities create no problems with people. Fake being nice to them.
Keep in mind these people really don't know you and what you are going through. All they see is someone who not at work or is not able to do what they did before without (whining) about the pain.

I am guilty of that. I don't care what they think. When I am hurting I don't hide it.

Get everything documented from your Doctor.
See a psychologist. They have to document everything.
Educate people and finally don't think about the people that bring you down.

You have enough on your plate without having to deal negative people.

This is what I did, but it may not work for you. If someone starts a rumor I deal with that person as soon as I hear it. Not in a mean way. But educate people what's happening and remind them they are only going to get older and start to have problems too.
Good luck.. it's been a very frustrating ride.
If you don't know the answer ask a professional, protect yourself and your future.

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