I have continued to be in terrible pain with these muscles. The nodules or growths or whatever they are just kep getting worse. I thought I just broke out due to pain in those areas. The nodules were like the like those circular tummies that are ruff on top. Then when I flexed my muscle, something like the size of half of a toothpick but as wide as two of them would rise out of that. They now have turned to mush but the have left these holes in my muscles.
A few days later, another few hundred growths developed on me. These were really wierd. They like colonized in cluster groups all over on the right side. They to were part of the muscle and would turn very firm. It caused a ton of pain but I could not keep my muscles active. When I flexed. I would take nearly half a minute to get them to to start rising. So the idea that they this was chronic regional pain star syndrome is gone unless it was just a brief epiisode. A few weeks, I under stand is very short term. I am not better yet. My pain was an 8 but it has reduced about 30%.
The problem I have found when dealing with these doctors. The nodules are deep. I will tell the doctor that and my wife. But when I tell them where it is, they can never feel them because they leave ,there hand straight and swipe across my arm like they are comforting me. I finially got my primary doctor yesterday. She was on vacation. I explained everything to her. I will say the last time I left the office they may have seen that I had some tears running down my eyes.
So my doctor gets back and I was in a lot of stressed. I was desperate for an answer on this. I wanted relief and to figure out what was going on with me. I was desperate for answers and she could hear that in my letter. So after my wife and the doctors not feeling the nodules, she sent me an email telling me that I have been under a lot of stress. She recommend this new psychiatrist Who was suppose to be really good. Then she offered to have a shared meeting with me with him. That has made me very sad. It is so hard to put up with kind of pain. You go into them with three lidocaine patches on one arm and you dare not try to move. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tommorow anyway. I told her all this pain had been hard to deal with. So I was going to him to see if he can change my anti-depressant to another one tha t miss suppose to be good for dealing with pain. I think the only reason a person a person would act distressful if there was really not a medical problem would be for attention. I told her they should use reasoning skills and realize I don't need attention. Besides the diagnosis of agoraphobia which sort of goes against that type of behavior, And also that I have plenty of attention because when this pain subsides, I will be able to look forward to feeling the pain that has always been their and that is chronic too. So I get a lot of attention that I really want.
So maybe I am interpreting this wrong. Maybe I am being overly sensitive. I just hoped my word was good enough. I figured that despite being in progressively more pain over the years, I have never asked for an increase in pain medication. I have worked at being objective for the most part. I know our emotion does effect our health from time to time. But this feels like a suggestion that my emotions ar creating an illness. I hate tht because I always figured if I do not have anything else going good in my body. I at least have my mind. It fails me time to time from illness but when I come to, it is in tact. Well, that is enough whining for me tonight. Now I will try to.let it go. I just had to tell someone. I hope you all are feeling as well as you can and keeping awa from the flu.