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He thinks I'm crazy...

Jan 25, 2016 11:22 PM

I'm new here. So hi everyone! I was just recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia... after 3 years of crippling pain, being poked and proded, doing every test under the sun, they finally gave me a diagnosis. My fiance has always told me I am crazy, everyone has aches and pains, you're exhausted because you need to sleep more, everyone gets headaches, your hands don't feel tingly or numb, there is always something wrong with you, I think you are making it up, it's all in your head, and you just can't take pain. These are the things he said to me until I got my diagnosis. I'm really hurt that he didn't believe me. And I'm terrified I will have to spend the rest of my life in this pain...

Jan 26, 2016 1:37 AM

Ugh i have lupus and my bf dosent understand my pain at all

Jan 26, 2016 1:47 AM

I had the same thing and know exactly how you feel for years most of my family thought I was putting it on or doing it for attention until I go my diagnosis now it's "I'm sure if you just do this or that you'll feel better" unless they are going through it they have no idea how it feels Gentle hugs xx

Jan 26, 2016 12:24 PM

KeshiaB, my younger cousin has had fibro for 15 years or longer. My uncle found out I have it and asked me, "why can you come to the gathering but she can't get out of bed?" I spent twenty minutes explaining days of my inability to function and good days. I explained the spoon theory to him. My hubby confirmed it all to him. He said he was glad to know more from someone else. I then reminded him I do not have the heart condition or diabetes his daughter has, and that those comorbidities make it even more of a struggle for her. I think he went home a different father for her. But not everyone is going to believe, not do they want to. Let him read some of our posts. Let him read off of websites.



If he's unwilling to learn more then maybe he isn't the one for you. Hugs & prayers he will be willing to learn and be supportive! πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

Jan 26, 2016 12:34 PM

Thank you do much FlappysLady 81 I really needed to here that and those are websites I haven't seen either so it would be good for me to check out. Thank you for the love and support :) this is a great community

Jan 26, 2016 12:53 PM

Keisha, if this person loves you, and if they have seen you well before or if you have had well days before where you try to function whenever you can. That should prove to him you are not faking anything. I remember a saying that was on a website for depression. It went something like thing like why should we make someone prove an invisible illness. I thought that was an amazing statement at the time as it applied to depression but then I thought it also went to many diseases that aren't seen. Plus it applies to many of us who deal with chronic pain. Some of the people who say they love us want proof. As if you could give them proof. If they could take the time and see the turmoil you are in for being in that situation. Not being able to do the things you use to do. Not being able to work,. These have a profound and grieving affect on us.

A person who is faking would be consumed with wanting your pity. We don't want pity. We want their pity. We want their understanding. If they can't offer us that, then stay away from us and leave us alone.

I am not telling you to break up with your boyfriend. I would not meddle like that. But I would ask you to consider your future. If this is the unsterstanding and empathy you are getting now? Is it really going to get any better? Have you really had a real heart to heart with him and Explain what Fibromyalgia is? Explain how it is effecting you and what it really feels like. The best that you can describe? If you have done that and it has not had no effect then I am afraid that is all the compassion you will ever get from him. Best wishes to you.

Jan 26, 2016 3:28 PM

That sounds like it will be a huge issue now & down the road. How can he love you & not believe you when you say you're in pain. Maybe you should reconsider marrying him. Or have him go with you to your doctor so he can be educated. If you have a professional tell him what you are feeling is real, maybe he will finally pull the asshole blindfold off & support you instead of make you feel worse.

Jan 26, 2016 6:14 PM

Iamjaime, That's exactly what made my hubby stop saying, "I'll be glad when you get better and can come off all this medication.". He said it in front of my rheumy doc and she quickly reprimanded him & said, " You obviously do not understand your wife's illnesses! She has autoimmune issues and will always needed medications to help her with her pain. ". He's now my best & biggest defender to all!

Keisha, I'm glad to share with you what others on here shared with me. πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

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