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Apr 05, 2016 11:56 PM

I need open minded people. I'm a 16 year old transgender male. I have a female body though. I have a serious problem with self harm and need help... I relapsed.. I'm scared of hurting myself.

Apr 06, 2016 12:05 AM

I wish i knew how to help you. I have several transgenered friends who are or have transitioned. I know how hard it can be for them ((gentle hugs))

Apr 06, 2016 12:05 AM

Thank you I wish I was able to transition! I don't have that kind of money

Apr 06, 2016 12:07 AM

Most haven't fully transitioned yet but do live as their emotional gender and are much happier that way. I sincerely hope you can find help and support somewhere really soon

Apr 06, 2016 12:08 AM

Thank you so much for your support!

Apr 06, 2016 12:58 AM

Dear GederBentBoy,

Please be kind to yourself and treat yourself like you would treat a special friend. I believe that you deserve to be who you want to be. I am not transgender but know of a few people who are transitioning. I just did research on a transgender policy this for my daughters high school.
PLEASE FIND SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
Cutting is a coping method, but one that people usually need mental health supports to help problem solve. Relapse can happen with anything. You are noticing the relapse this is a good observation on your part. You can then start again. It's ok.
There supports in communities and on line that maybe able to lend a listening ear and help with suggestions. Research and educate yourself, this can help you understand, give you strength to being an better advocate for yourself.
I truly wish you well. You are not alone. Please reach out for help and if it is not a good match for you move on because you deserve it and will I hope you find the connections you need.
I would like to say that I am happy that you are making a decision to share who you feel you need to be. My daughter is 16. I will support her with who ever she wants to be and do. My wish for her and you is that you can stay safe, care and respect yourselves and except no less from others, otherwise move on.
Keep in touch,
Beets.

Apr 06, 2016 10:05 AM

Hope youre feeling a bit better today... i can only echo what Beets said. Please get some type of help and support and be kind to yourself. Your journey is never easy but its going to be worth it!

Apr 06, 2016 11:31 AM

Since the age of 8 to now I've had 17 therapists or mental health providers. They end up dumping me due to not being able to help or I'm to much. Today I meet my new in home mental health manager. I've educated my self so much to the point trans people are asking me for advice and I'm able to help them but not myself. Wish me luck please.

Apr 06, 2016 11:43 AM

I wish you all the lick in the world hun. You are going to make it through this. I wish there was more i could do

Apr 06, 2016 12:00 PM

GenderBentBoy, you are very courageous to come to a public forum and ask for help. I commend you on your courage and your determination to live your authentic self. I understand wishing you could transition and don't have the money but I know folks that wanted the same but live there life as the gender they feel they were meant to be. I send you warm wishes, gentle {{{Hugs}}} and prayers that you are able to find the help you need to get where you want to be. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Love who you are. You're not a gender, you're a human being. I know that doesn't help you at the moment. I just want you to be safe and love yourself enough not to self harm. I am here if you need to chat and please try to find a support group where you are and perhaps things will fall into place for you. 💕🙏🏻🌻😊

Apr 06, 2016 12:55 PM

Maybe helping others is the answer. When we open up our hearts and minds we grow. Something to explore. Please do treat yourself like you would treat a good friend. We all need to try to do that for ourselves. It is hard to always love ourselves especially when we are angry with our bodies for whatever the reason may be. Great post, thanks for sharing.

Apr 06, 2016 1:02 PM

But then I feel terrible because it won't work for me..

Apr 06, 2016 7:13 PM

GenderBentBoy, I am 17 and have self harmed from young. I have a lot of friends whom are transgender or another gender identity. Some of my friends are transitioning, others will be and some won't be for a long. You can private message me and I will try to help :) I've tried every trick in the book. One thing I will say though, make sure that you have a therapist that you can trust and that you have a rapport with and if one therapy doesn't work for you, try a different one. There are lots of therapies out there

Apr 06, 2016 8:36 PM

TierdInPainNInsane I don't know how to private message

Apr 06, 2016 9:24 PM

Genderbentboy, the more your actions and words are filled with your true emotions, the more you will feel more at home in your mind. In turn this will make you feel less concerned about how your body looks and more confident with other people while being yourself.

If you go to therapy they will break this and more down for you and help you apply how you really feel to your life instead of what you think others want from you.

Thank you for being brave and being out on here ✌🏼️

Apr 06, 2016 9:27 PM

GenderBentBoy, I can't say it any better than Beets has. I had never heard of babies born with both genders until our youngest daughter was born. The mother in the next room had a baby with both genial organs, a hemaphrodite child. And the pediatrician said that they would need to decide if they wanted a son of daughter; that was in 1988. I couldn't help but wonder how that child would feel (emotionally & personality wise) as they grew up, if their parents made the right choice.

I think Beets and many others has given you very good advice. Follow what you feel in your heart to be right for you. And seek help from people who've been where you are, and from professionals who are trained with compassion & wisdom (not like that pediatrician was in '88). You are loved, and the community is here any time you need support. Hugs & prayers for strength and courage, and love for yourself so you don't harm yourself! 🙂💕🙏🌼

Apr 06, 2016 9:31 PM

I wasent born with both sex organs. Just the mind of a man and the body of a female. I don't mean for my clarifications to sound mean. Just want to make sure you knew. Also.. Most doctors recommend nthat the parents not choose for the hermaphrodite child due to the emotional status in the future.

Apr 06, 2016 9:36 PM

I have a friend that's a trans girl so I see where you are coming from and how frustrating it can be with the wrong parts. I can't say I fully understand what you're going through though. I'm just a bi chick that still hasn't told her parents or friends and I'm 21 with multiple chronic illnesses without cures.

Apr 06, 2016 9:47 PM

Please do not harm yourself. You are a worthwhile human being. While I don't know what it is like to be in your shoes I do know that self harm is not the answer. Wishing you strength, peace, love and happiness.

Apr 07, 2016 8:45 AM

GenderBentBoy, your explanation didn't sound mean. I realized after I was in bed that I know the difference between transgender & hemaphrodite, but I didn't explain it well. I do that a lot, especially with my fibro fog & memory loss, I struggle to find the right words. My hubby gets upset when I do it. I apologize for my unintended mistake. I guess what I was trying to say is, though 1988 was my first time of even knowing hemaphrodite babies could be born, or that people struggled with their gender identity, things haven't really changed that much (nearly 30 years) as far as acceptance. I was very shocked that the hospital pediatrician back then was pushing the parents to make such a life altering decision so quickly. I learned later from my children's pediatrician, that not all doctors were like that, and most did recommend waiting. I can't imagine what you're feeling of going through, but I wish you the best. Hugs & prayers you will be able to get the support you need! 🙂💕🙏🌼

Apr 07, 2016 9:17 AM

GenderBentBoy, you can only private message if you have the "pain companion" app. I would recommend having both CatchMyPain and Pain companion or just pain companion.
If you don't have the latest version if pain companion that can also affect things slightly.
If not, I'm happy to give you another way to private message me like snapchat or kik or dome other Instant messaging service. Just let me know :)

Apr 07, 2016 9:28 AM

You're so loved, GBB. I'm gender fluid which isn't close to being transgender, but I know some of the feels. Born female, feel more male than anything, and no, it's nothing I equate to "tomboy". My pronouns are they/their and most will insist on using she/her. To top the cake, I'm also a demi/ace so that just adds to it all. I'm older than you by a lot, but the feels are universal. All I can suggest is to take the above replies and make em work for you. Harming yourself, though it numbs the pain for a little while, doesn't take it fully way. I have a feeling you will find a "home" here of folk who listen, empathise and GET you. I may not wish to go on T, but I've many mtf and ftm friends who I have walked with em on their journey of life. So if you need an ear I'm here for you. I don't think there is private msg on the app version I'm using, but I'd be more than happy to grab the sister app to this one for you if you're ever needing an ear.

Apr 07, 2016 11:10 AM

Genderbentboy, first off, welcome home. I am so intrigued by the depth and sincerity of your honest. Oh how wonderful that quality is, and it will carry you long And far in your life. Reading your post, even though I am experiencing Menopause, I can relate to some of the issues you struggle with everyday. I am sooooooooo glad you found us! We love you automatically and UNCONDITIONALLY. Call or text if you need help sorting things out ..or having a bad day or a good day... Much love and Blessings, Terri 903-714-1644

Apr 07, 2016 11:39 AM

I curently don't have a working phone.. I only have email, kik, and Google hangouts. I would like to get in touch with you ladies/people.

Apr 07, 2016 1:09 PM

I am thinking about you hun. Just want you to know that you are being thought about and sent loving vibes :)

Apr 07, 2016 5:38 PM

GenderBentBoy, my kik is reecebrowne1. Send me a message if you want to :)

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