Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Help me change my language

Sep 17, 2016 10:41 AM

So as y'all know uve been u see a lot of stress as we all are. But I've noticed a disturbing habit I'm forming. I'm finding myself apologizing for my choices of self care. Mostly it started as a way to make my family understand that my isolation is nkt personal and I was concerned about hurting there feeling. I'm also finding thst I'm actually not caring about what others feel and in turn I'm apologizeing for thst.
I don't really feel I need to apologize or I don't want to start another trend of me feeling bad for choosing to care for myself.
So what I'm asking for is your feed back on this. Such as how did or are you guys doing to reassure your family or those close to u thst your choices to stay away is not personal while still keeping your confidence in doing so.
I hope I'm Making sense.

Sep 17, 2016 8:06 PM

I try to change my "I'm sorry" statements into "I'm thankful" instead. "I'm sorry I need to lay down." becomes "I'm thankful you're so understanding." "I'm lucky to have you" "I was so happy to hear about your party! What was your favorite part?" By expressing gratitude, you begin to see the world from a different perspective, and your loved ones feel more valued. When they feel valued by you, they are more understanding and more willing to help you when you need it.

It's so hard to keep a healthy mind and attitude when you're in pain, but it really is a choice.

Sep 18, 2016 7:57 PM

That is a great way to see things. How long did it take for you get to this point. I know I should not measure myself with others but I'm struggling so hard with all aspects of this journey. I just want to know if I'm anywhere close to the right path.

Sep 18, 2016 8:34 PM

I still have dark days. I still snap at people, but I'm doing better. My attitude is one of the only things that's still 100% within my control! It's been about 18 months since my official diagnosis, which was closely followed by my darkest days. I've been seeking with pain for several years.

Sep 18, 2016 8:36 PM

I understand..I've been diagnosed for 2 yrs and still working on the perfect plan for myself. And right now I'm firmly in the butter stage. My pain is off the charts and this is just are not working or adding up right.

Sep 20, 2016 8:12 PM

I couldn't have said it better than FatiguedFighter. It takes identifying when you're doing it, and then changing what or how you say it. I think we've all been down this road, or at least I have. Hugs love and prayers... You can do this! 🙂💕🙏🌸

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community