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Sep 21, 2015 5:25 PM

My wife has fibro and I want to Knw how I can help on her really bad days

Sep 21, 2015 8:01 PM

Be supportive! That's the biggest. If it ruins plans, or she can't accomplish something, it is probably very disappointing and frustrating to both of you. I have found often times a hot epsom salt bath, or heating pad helps me to at least work through the pain. Maybe offer to get her something like that.

Sep 21, 2015 8:27 PM

What about sleep

Sep 21, 2015 8:30 PM

Last it would help her a lot just to have you being understanding and to help out around the house and kids, so she can sleep if she needs too.

Sep 21, 2015 8:42 PM

Sleep is so very tricky! I can't remember the last time I didn't feel tired. There is a fine line between getting enough, and getting too much. Personally, I have found that even if I dont want to, I make myself get up around the same time everyday! It sucks, but helps in the long run. I also try for around 9 hours a night, since I never sleep all night, without waking. I personally have cut out naps, even though there are days I seriously need one. It just messes up my sleep cycle. Instead I will go to bed early sometimes.

Sep 21, 2015 8:52 PM

Hyperalgesia fibro is the type she has I'm screaming for help I Dnt want it to ruin our marriage I love her with all my heart in she means the world to me .It jus seems like I can never do enough I cook clean etc etc

Sep 21, 2015 8:53 PM

I even took off Wk jus to lay around with her

Sep 21, 2015 9:01 PM

Hopefully it will not ruin your marriage. Through sickness and in health, right. It is a process of finding what works best for her. Chances are that will be a combination of lifestyle, meds and supplements. Try to remember that she is probably just as unhappy and desperate as you are. She never asked for this either. I doubt this is how she thought her life would turn out, as well. Stress will definitely not help her pain level. So, roll with the punches, as she has no other choice to do so.

Sep 21, 2015 9:05 PM

Yes u are right lafountaine5 through sickness and in health its jus hard for a person that's never had to deal with it

Sep 21, 2015 9:08 PM

It is. And being a care taker is incredibly difficult, also. I know for me, when my husband helps me out with things I normally do, after he has worked all day, I am grateful, but it causes another type of pain. I hate myself a little bit more because of it. I'm sure his wife feels the same way.

Sep 21, 2015 9:12 PM

Last as LaFontaine 5 says is true that just try and roll with the punches, try and go to her Dr appointments with her and talk to her dr. Ask questions and see if there is anything you can do to help her feel better. If she gets stressed out that will make her fibro worse. Just play it by ear, every morning ask her if there is anything she needs you to do for her.

Sep 21, 2015 9:18 PM

Last, I think something that you probably won't like to hear, but you need to- is you need to talk to her. WHat does she want/need? Does she want everything done around the house or does she want you to sit with her, gently rubbing her sore spots? I know for me, My husband made things better for me by telling me that the house stuff does not matter. And I tell him when all I need is his attention. Grazing your hands on her arms, back, legs- you would be surprised how much pain that can relieve, even if it's temporary.
Another thing you both need to talk through is grief. This sounds weird, but if you're new to this diagnosis there was a life that you both wanted and thought you would have- and that is most likely not going to be your reality. So, grieve. Together is the only way. Be honest (not accusing) with each other that this isn't what you wanted. And be patient with each other as you will mostly go through those 5 stages of grief differently.
Also, I would HIGHLY recommend marital counseling if you're that worried. Neither of you should try to "deal" on your own. I hope this helps, and I will definitely be praying for you, your wife (who's lucky to have a man who cares so much to ask for help), and your marriage.

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