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Help with new issue and kids

Dec 09, 2015 12:52 AM

So I need a new MRI my left hand is going numb on and off and also feel like it's being dipped in acid. The weird part is it's coming from the t-spine as massage between the shoulder blades on the spine helps immediately. My dr says not common but very possible so MRI world here I come again. He scared me a bit because he asked if I am willing to have surgery again, since I had complications that in the end have caused me to be unable to work ever again. I told him if needed yes but I would want to try more conservative treatment first.

The other issue is my daughter final had a breakdown. She is 17 and has had PTSD, anxiety and depression since my back surgery and infection in 2009. She was also severely bullied that year in school but didn't talk about it as our family was dealing with so much at the time. She had an anxiety attack last Tuesday in class and since then has made it about 2 hours last Friday to class and 2 hours yesterday to band practice. She is severely depressed and crying and sleeping all the time. She is also back to clinging to me just about every second she is awake. We talked about admission for 72 hours to the local mental health facility to jumpstart treatment and she broke down again but mainly because I couldn't be with her. She has no close friends and I am her best friend. She has never even been asked out and she is a senior in high school and not hugely overweight. She is 5'10" and weighs 180, keeps about a 3.0 GPA, yet she is closed off from the world. She thinks no one but me would miss her. She finally agreed to counseling and therapy last Thursday and sees a therapist this Thursday and we are waiting to see the doctor for the medication eval.

If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it, if not prayers and good thoughts and energies are most welcome.


Dec 09, 2015 1:13 AM

I have PTSD from where I was severely bullied and tortured as a child. I'm glad that you are getting her help. It makes it so hard to trust the outside world. She clings to you because you are the only one she completely trusts. Plus with your health issues, odds are good that she is terrified (whether consciously or subconsciously) that she is going to lose you. What she needs is a good therapist (and yes there are bad ones,so if she does not improve, you will need to find a different one. A rapport is necessary for her to open up and heal). She may also need medication at first just to give some distance from her emotions so that she can recognize the "catastrophic thinking" and wrong ideas that are leading to those emotions. It will require hard work on both of your parts because a therapist and medication and psychiatry is only a tool. I wish you the best of luck and my prayers and thoughts go out for you both. God bless and gentle hugs

Dec 09, 2015 12:50 PM

Your words mean so much. You don't know how many people don't understand how she could have PTSD at 17 and why she seems to be having almost separation anxiety at being away from me. This is killing me. The added stress of constantly trying to not set her off right now and keep her calm is stressing me out and I have to hide it from both my kids or they both freak out.

Dec 09, 2015 1:23 PM

I understand. It's so difficult for you as a mother to see her struggling and feel that helpless burn off anxiety. Plus wanting to protect her from the idiots who seem to think that PTSD only come from war or something. I've dealt with them before. Just gently remind them that even babies can suffer from PTSD. It can come from a car wreck, bullying, a fight, a fire, abuse, etc. Any trauma can cause it. It all depends on our ability to cope as to how it manifests. Some of us need a bit of help. Also remind her that it's not her fault and there's absolutely no shame in seeking help. There used to be a large stigma attached to mental health issues. There's still some of the bias against it, but it is improving. Just be there for her, because detoxing yourself from wrong thinking and catastrophic thoughts is a difficult but very necessary path. She'll have to relearn how to see herself and earn back her own self approval. It's an internal battle, but like I said it's very necessary. Just have faith in her and remind her that you're proud of her and that you have that faith. Makes a difference! Good luck, I'm here if ya need an ear 😊

Dec 16, 2015 7:17 PM

DeeZ, I'm not sure if it would help or not, but does your daughter have a pet; car, dog, ferret, etc? The reason I'm asking is because pets have an ability to calm us down. My psychologist has 2 trained therapy dogs she uses in her clinic to help calm patients, especially children. 🙂🙏🌼

Dec 16, 2015 7:25 PM

Are you living arrangements equipped for getting a dog. I have an Emotional Support Animal, registration is a bit costly but he goes everywhere with me and has helped my PTSD immensely. As a registered service animal, even places that don't accept animals will accept a registered one.

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