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Here we go again

Sep 30, 2015 6:35 AM

I'm feeling absolutely rotten this morning again. Slept for maybe 4-5 hours last night, on account of pelvic pain/ discomfort. Can't get comfortable right now. I'm so sick of going to the doc already it is not funny. Please, please send some good vibes up. 10 am appointment can't get here soon enough. And even though I'm scared, I know I'm in good hands already.

Sep 30, 2015 7:34 AM

Amanda, I'm sending you positive vibes and {{{{Hugs}}}} to help soothe you. I'm so sorry you didn't get enough rest and that you're hurting so badly. I know what you mean about being tired of going to doctors. Seems like I live my life between doctor appointments too. I'm glad that you are in good hands though. Try to listen to some music that you love and perhaps it will distract you for a while. I, myself, was up until 5:48am and woke up at 7:15. I'm exhausted and the weather is aweful (raining and hot/sticky) so that makes things worse. It's supposed to be like this through Tuesday which is distressing because with each bad day, I get sicker and it takes longer to recover. Hang in there, I'll be praying that the doctor is able to give you some relief. Let us know how it goes. ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐ŸŒป

Sep 30, 2015 7:45 AM

Amanda, I'm sorry you haven't between able to rest because of your pain. I'm hoping and praying your doc appt will have positive results! Abdominal pain of any kind can be debilitating. Hopefully your docs will be willing to take a look inside with a laparoscopy procedure, so they can find out the cause of your pain instead of guessing. (((Hugs))) & prayers said! ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒผ

Sep 30, 2015 7:54 AM

Flappys, at this point I must agree. I hate the guessing game already. At this point, it hurts to even sit up straight Simply because my pelvis feels like it's on fire right now. At the same time, I'm dreading going in there cause this appointment is going to make me flare up worse. Have meds on board but not touching it yet.

Sep 30, 2015 8:29 AM

Sending you positive and heaing vibes! I am also to the point I hate doctors. I hope they can figure out whats going on so they can fix it!

Sep 30, 2015 9:03 AM

Okay so word is, give the meds 4 more weeks. If no better, we will set up for a laproscopy. I'm fine with that at this point. Just have to stay on top of it with OTC meds at this point. Phooey!!!!!

Sep 30, 2015 11:19 AM

And back to the darn surgeon tomorrow again. Breaking out.

Sep 30, 2015 2:30 PM

Good luck Amanda.

Sep 30, 2015 4:19 PM

I'm sorry you're having a rough time Amanda. I hope the meds work out--thankfully you've got doctors who are on top of and there is a plan in place. Just so much after so much! Sending healing vibes to Amanda Middleton๐Ÿ’•

Sep 30, 2015 4:29 PM

Marse, I can completely understand with you post on completely sick suckatude cause I'm going through it myself. My faith has been almost completely broken at this point. I'm not depressed, just extremely angry. How much longer do I have to bear this burden already? My surgeon even said to me this morning, "Amanda, you have had a hell of a year already. " I looked at her and said, "Nicole, you don't know the half of it." She said, "want to talk about it tomorrow?" "No, not necessarily." "Just want this year to be over already." My biggest issue at this point is my mom. She always says to me, "think positive" I say to myself, Think positive, how in Sam hell do I think positive when I have so many issues hitting me at one time. Some days, it's just not possible. Sorry for ranting. Just needed to get it out before I explode.

Sep 30, 2015 4:43 PM

Love and light to you amanda

Sep 30, 2015 5:10 PM

Amanda I want to reach through the phone and hug you--and I would completely get it if you hissed and growled when I did. You bring up a good point. You're not depressed, you're tired and it's gone on long enough and wtf. I do not think many people know how to let this be, well intended or not. Then I just wind up worrying about someone else's feelings on top of it--which usually pisses me off more. Your surgeon was right on. It's incredibly more healing to get validation for where you are rather than to hear you're not being...POSITIVE ๐Ÿ˜กenough. (Not that there's anything wrong with that๐Ÿ˜‡) I don't want your spirit to break--I know what that relentless pain feels like. You were one of the first people to reach out to me on this forum. Please know that you helped (at least) me by being here and posting. If I'm still in the game I want friends with me๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’–

Sep 30, 2015 7:37 PM

Thank you Marse, you have no idea how good that made me feel tonight. At least I have people that know what it feels like and understand the emotions of chronic pain. And yes, I am going to let her know what is going on and how I'm feeling emotionally.

Sep 30, 2015 9:50 PM

Hope you have as restful night as possible. It will get better just keep your faith. I will keep you in my prayers, a sending you hugs.

Sep 30, 2015 10:05 PM

Weezie, I hope tomorrow is as quick and pain free as possible. Going to bring my tablet and crank up the music during it. The surgeon is okay with me doing that. She knows that I use it as a coping strategy so all is not lost. Will update you guys tomorrow.

Sep 30, 2015 10:25 PM

Good luck with everything. You are a star and it is unfair what you have had to deal with. I totally agree with the anger side of things. I just hope for your sake this helps you ans gives you a better life. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome xx

Oct 01, 2015 6:13 AM

Well, got another disappointment this morning. Doesn't look like my corneal transplant will happen this year either. Health is still too tenuous for that to happen because of the possible diagnosis of endo. Stupid freaking body!!!!!

Oct 01, 2015 8:31 AM

Amanda, I agree with Marsemouse. You know, as everyone does, I'm just a positive person at heart. But as hard as I try, in the face of overwhelming health issues, sometimes I struggle to even find one ready of light, of hope. We all go through it at some point, and many more often than others. Anger is a natural feeling, and its best to vent than hold it in. They've proven repressed feelings can sicken people.

Just don't give up faith, believing that at some point things will start to turn around and wind down for you! It has happened to me twice in the last 20 years, where I had as you said "a year from hell." But no matter what I kept believing, regardless of how bad it got, that things would turn around. I'm praying yours will too!

With so much going on, having the corneal transplant now could lead to rejection or even other problems. My mother in law had it done, and here's was fine until she had her stroke; now she's blind in both eyes. And my oldest sisters went bad because she wasn't able to stay on the meds or eat well enough. You wouldn't want to risk it not going well would you? Just take a day at a time, one major medical issue at a time.

In January my Ortho said he'd take the bone spur out from under my left kneecap later in the summer. I feel I need it done in order to remove one problem that is, in my opinion, affecting another. But now he refuses to do the surgery because he says my health has deteriorated this year, and in his opinion I wouldn't heal fast enough or well enough. In other words the risk outweighs the benefit right now.

I feel a close connection to so many of you, and love you all like a sibling or best friend. When your faith gets low just keep hanging on... Like the kitten hanging from the tree branch... Look up, not down! We'll all keep you sheltered in compassion, support, faith, and fond love. (((Hugs))) & a prayer! ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒผ

Oct 01, 2015 12:51 PM

Flappys, all went well. Just from her preliminary look at my leg this morning, she could tell it is indeed MRSA again. She wants me to call the infectious disease specialist(which I've already done) and wants me back on IV antibiotics for longer this time(possibly 10 days). Specialist will culture so that wasn't done this morning. No shower or bath for 24 hours. Dressings must stay on for 24 hours as well. Back in the bed for the day. Really uncomfortable right now. Will catch you guys on the flip side of things.

Oct 02, 2015 10:00 PM

(((Hugs))) & a prayer. Breathe slow and deep and find a good boil or movie to Detroit your thoughts. ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒผ

Oct 03, 2015 9:50 PM

Amanda, I am sending you gentle {{{{{Hugs}}}}} to help you get through. I am here, right by your side, like always. I am here to listen, to lend a shoulder (as long as you don't lean too hard.... LOL!!!!) and my heart breaks for you to be going through all of this. Your pain is bad enough but with all of the other things going on and the disappointments that have come with it are disheartening. I hope that you have a peaceful night's rest and that you wake refreshed and ready to face a better and less painful Sunday. You're in my thoughts and prayers.. Hang in there, Amanda and keep the faith.

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