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Hit the wall

Apr 20, 2016 11:36 AM

Hello my fello pain warrior family. I pray you are all enjoying this beautiful Spring day with little or no pain. I have really hit a wall. I actually think I ran over myself with my own bus!! Damn thing tipped over, spilled the bar.. Newfibrogirl's cherries are gone and gotta get more cause my girl loves her cherries!! PhoenixRising stole my damn tambourine again. I'm trying to focus on my humor because if I don't I'm going to cry and I'm afraid I won't stop. I don't remember if I posted here that I took a bad fall and the same day had a fistfight with some chick who cut me off (twice) and then had the nerve to punch me!! I was lucky there were witnesses that saw it and saw that I didn't throw the first punch. Cops wrote a report and dismissed me. At any rate, they raised my muscle relaxant to double (4mg-8mg) and I have also come off pat dosage of my Ativan. I think I cut my meds back to fast and was up all Monday night and think I had a seizure. It scare the crap out of me. I was afraid to sleep last night so I dozed and woke up. Doctor said all was ok and to stay on what he gave me until I see him again Monday. Stress has caused bad spasms and RSD flare. I think if I can break the pain cycle I can cope. I just feel very depressed and anxious. I usually don't talk about it but it builds and then I need to get it out. My folks will tell me not to cry (I try, it does make things worse). At any rate, y'all are in my thoughts and prayers and just wanted to touch base and make sure that all of my peeps were taken care of. Have a blessed day everyone. {{{Hugs}}} πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Apr 20, 2016 2:26 PM

I'm so sorry your hurting and struggling but you always have us to lean on. Our hands are out for you.

Apr 20, 2016 5:04 PM

Alwayz, I am glad you did not go to jail....lol. The Ativan decrease was to fast....don't be afraid ..just take your pain meds , you will get ahead of it. Love, Terri

Apr 20, 2016 5:08 PM

Exactly what I told her Terri great minds thinking a like

Apr 20, 2016 7:12 PM

Oh geez. Sorry you are going through all that. Hugs

Apr 20, 2016 9:47 PM

Oh Alwayz, go ahead and cry. I'd let you lay your head on my shoulder if I could. You take it easy just in case the meds did cause a seizure type episode! Praying & sending you hugs! Love you my sister-friend! πŸ˜‰ Lol

Apr 20, 2016 10:52 PM

Thank you all so very much for your support. It means so much for me. You're all my pain family and I've made so many strong connections and good friends. I feel much better. I rested this afternoon and actually fell asleep for just about 2 hours. After that I was much calmer and in a much better frame of mind. It's getting late and i am tired and no longer afraid to fall asleep so I look forward to getting some shuteye.
Terri, you really crack me up, thanks as always for the laugh. Newfibrogirl you know that you are very important to me as well and I am so happy that we have the fire circle. We all need to make an attempt to have a gathering around the fire soon.. We can spend hours laughing and I just know it's only a matter of time before Terri makes me wet my pants again... LOL!!! Gotobef, thanks for the hugs, you can never have too many of those and the best thing about a hug is that every time you give one, you get one!! Flappsy, I have no doubt that you would give my your shoulder to cry on, you've been a real friend for a long time now. I always appreciate your words of encouragement and your friendship and prayers. Sending out lots of love, {{{Hugs}}} and prayers to all of you. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜

Apr 21, 2016 12:55 AM

And This People, is why these groups are so important!! So very glad you managed some actual rest and the girls were there with their support as always! You all are very special people in my book! 😊xx

Apr 21, 2016 9:30 AM

Thanks JAHMAC, you are one of the family too and are just as special. Didn't get as much sleep last night but am in a better frame of mind. If I could just breathe out of my nose instead of having to walk around with my mouth hanging open, my head would feel better... LOL!! Hope you are well and see you in th Fire circle!! Love and {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

Apr 21, 2016 9:56 AM

Oh stuffy nose and having to stop to breathe when you're eating or talking,hope you're over that soon xxx πŸ˜„

Apr 21, 2016 9:58 AM

Thanks, I'm sure it will pass soon. The worst is just taking a bit of sandwich and then you have to quickly move it to the sides so you can get a breath without choking on it!! πŸ™„πŸ˜³πŸ˜œ

Apr 21, 2016 4:06 PM

Damn, that is a bad day. I wish my magic genie lamp was working I would share. That being said, if the sucker had any magic left I would be rubbing it like a teenage boy finding a new sensation..... you get my point.

Apr 26, 2016 1:59 AM

LMB... The visual on that just cracked me up!!! You're too funny and it was perfect. I needed that laugh. Just had pain management today and they ordered a ct scan of my cervical and thoracic spine to see what, if anything, has changed to cause such horrible pain that I've been feeling. Hope everyone is asleep right now and enjoying a peaceful slumber and wakes tomorrow to a lovely day and less pain. Love and {{{Hugs}}} from my heart. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

Apr 26, 2016 6:25 AM

Oh Alwayz!! I don't know how I've missed this post until now! I'm so sorry for your pain and struggle the last several days! I've said a prayer for your pain to lift from you and your med issues to level out. I'm sure we've all had those days that we wouldn't be able to bare it without this place to "let it go", right. You cry, sream, yell, punch, whatever it takes girl! I may be silent most of the time, but I'm here for you to lean on too. You have many friends here for sure. Just try to ride the wave, honey. You'll land on the beach to rest soon, with all the rest of you sand pebbles here on the beach. Until then, don't tread against the current, it only makes it a long ride. Love ya peeps. πŸ„πŸŒŠπŸŒŠπŸŒŠπŸ˜Ž

Apr 26, 2016 9:20 AM

LMB you just made my day with that visioin of the lamp😹😹😹

Apr 26, 2016 9:29 AM

Alwayzinpain wow and sorry for your pain. As part of my pain management I see a therapist. And try to find a happy place in my mind and do things to distract me from all the pain. When I started coming off Dilaudid they were going to do it cold turkey and it threw me for a loop then they decided it was best to wean me off instead. Be your own advocate! Be safe and do what is best for you!

Apr 30, 2016 1:40 PM

Hello all my Peeps!!! I have been to pain management yet again (the month just seems to fly by so quickly) and he finally got the approval for my ct scan of my cervical and thoracic spine. It's exhausting. The range of motion manipulations he did to my neck has caused it to go into that weird spasm again and I am now once again on a steroid pack and a higher dose of muscle relaxer. I am not in a bad way the way I had been when I originally posted this. I am in a fairly good space in my head and at least the sun is out and the flowers are blooming, etc. it works on perking me up and keeping me from being in the pit where I was. Thanks to everyone for giving me a boost and giving me hands to hold and shoulders to lean on. That's why I love my peeps so much. We all know that we are not alone and that here is always somebody to listen. Love {{{Hugs}}} and prayers for you all for a blessed weekend.πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

Apr 30, 2016 6:56 PM

I'm so glad you're getting the MRI, and I pray it shows whatever needs to be seen. Hugs & prayers you will soon be feeling more strength & energy & less pain! πŸ™‚πŸ’•πŸ™πŸŒΌ

May 01, 2016 12:09 PM

Thanks Flappsy!! I hope so too. I wish I could have an MRI but can't due to the wires in my neck and back. I'm actually having a ct scan of my cervical and thoracic spine and I think if anything has changed, they will see it when they do the test. Hoping the insurance company sends the authorization by tomorrow so I can try to do it this week between the 3 doctor appointments I have to take my Dad to this week. {{{Hugs}}} πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

May 02, 2016 6:19 PM

Always, you finially post something about yourself that you are going through and I am gone. What is up with that? Couldn't you have planned a fight when I was back in pain? Ha ha. I am so sorry that happened to you. What exactly happened? If you want to tell then do, if not then I understand. I just can't imagine why a person would want to swing a punch at you. You are so very sweet.

I have really missed you a lot Always. I am sorry that I have been gone so long. I just have been taking advantage of feeling good. I actually am still feeling good but I thought I couldn't stay away any longer. There are plenty of people who need encouragement. I am sorry that you have had to go to the pain doctors twice this month. I normally go once a year the most. I don't like going there. They are always trying to take away my pain medication. But I don't let them. I need it to much to function. I have only taken four pill in three days. I normally would take twelve. So that is real good for me. I should be telling people how good I am doing when other people not doing so well. So I will stop with that.

I was going to join the fire circle one night but I got there to late. I was up real late one night. So I checked in. Everyone was asleep. I thought I might see you there. Well I hope you are feeling better by now and your pain is under as much control as it can be. My best wishes to you always. πŸ˜€βœŒοΈ

May 02, 2016 9:54 PM

Alwayzinpain, I am so sorry you suffered at the hand of someone else while you are already dealing with chronic pain and ongoing illness. Shame on that person. Like the others I am glad you didn't go to jail also... I would have put some money on your books for your spending. πŸ‡

May 04, 2016 11:46 PM

Profiler, no worries.. I'm glad that you were living your life and feeling good. That's the best news you could possibly have given me. Next time, I'll try to plan better timing.. LOL!!! πŸ˜‰ At any rate, even though, as you say, I'm sweet (and I have to agree with you!!! LOL!!!) this chick cut me off twice going into the same parking lot I was going into. First on the main road and then made almost a u-turn in front of me cutting me off again in the driveway. I was in horrible pain as I had just taken a terrible fall about 20 minutes prior when I was leaving the doctor's office. I got out and yelled at her and said, "Are you fucking kidding me?? You cut me off twice to get into the same parking lot.. Really?!" And she started to curse at me in Spanish and then called me a fat pig. I said, "Don't even go there, I'll wipe up the parking lot with you!" And she punched me in the face. I just saw red and threw her against the brick wall and started punching he shit out of her. Her friend jumped out of the car screaming that she was calling the cops and did. There were 2 women sitting in a car watching the whole thing and they told the police that she hit me first. So a report was filed and they dismissed me. Glad I didn't need bail money!! But the fall and the fight did tremendous damage to my neck and I had to go through 2 courses of steroids and strong muscle relaxers and I was down for the count. I was feeling much better but after my last pain management appointment he did manipulations to my neck and I am on another course of steroids. I wrote a post about everything else thats going on right now. So, my dear friend, I am glad you are well and I have missed you as well. You can always reach my by cell or text me. Sending you {{{Hugs}}} and warm regards.πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š
MySistersKeeper, you crack me up!! At least I would have had reading material.. {{{Hugs}}} πŸ˜πŸ˜‚

May 06, 2016 7:36 AM

Wow sorry alwayzinpain hope you feel better.

May 06, 2016 8:14 PM

LOL Wowser that was quite a day! I hope you have recovered ok

May 08, 2016 12:18 PM

Thanks all.. I am feeling better!! I appreciate all the love from everyone!! {{{Hugs}}} πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

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