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how do you get people to understand that you are in pain

Jul 07, 2015 12:21 PM

I am in pain every day and my boyfriend yells at me and calls me lazy even as I am crying and trying to explain to him that I hurt all over. I am cursed with the invisible diseases of fybromyalga and mental illness

Jul 07, 2015 12:46 PM

Search the 'spoon theory' and 'letters to normals'. Take him to doctor appointments and get him to ask the doctor questions.
If he still yells and doesn't want to understand dump his ass! You don't need the added stress because stress makes everything way worse. You don't need to take his abuse.
Some people just refuse to try to understand and it is more stressful to keep trying than to walk away. Some people try hard to understand and take care of us, they will never truly understand because you don't know until you are in that situation, but those are the people we need to keep close.
I hope you can get him to understand and treat you right.

Jul 07, 2015 2:11 PM

I agree with gotobef. Also, sometimes ppl we care about will yell or act mean because they are frustrated because they don't know what to do to help you and they feel helpless. Taking him to your doctor appts and showing him articles about your illnesses should help, but also let him know that what you need from him is to just support you. Just be there for you and help you when you ask. Now, if after all that he still doesn't believe you or still tries to make you do things you can't or especially if he keeps hurting you kick him to the curb! A person like that has no empathy or compassion, and is only out for themselves. I really hope he chooses you. ((Hugs))

Www.butyoudontlooksick.com is where The Spoon Theory is. 😊

Jul 07, 2015 3:01 PM

Have him go with you to your next doctor appointment. Also, ask him what the very worst pain was he ever suffered in his life. After he tells you, then bring him further and tell him to think about having that pain all the time with no break and it getting worse and worse with no breaks, it gets monotonous. Then tell him to imagine that horrible, worst pain he ever had staying and never being able to get away with it. I pray that he reads your posts and decides to check it out further. The whole thing sucks!! I've never, ever had 5 weeks of pancakes toAQa

Jul 07, 2015 9:52 PM

Drummergirl49735, what was said by gotobef, Amie, & Always really is the only way to show him. My hubby didn't comprehend or understand until I made him go to many different doctors appts. I told him he was free to ask anything he wanted. At this moment my fog brain is blocking, but two doctors chewed him out for his attitude and explained what's happening. Ever since he's been my biggest advocate to others. If after you take everyone's suggestions and he still doesn't get it, you could always let a hammer or frying pan "slip" onto his hand or foot... then tell him to imagine that pain always being present! Lol 😱 Just kidding! 😉 If he's not willing to be supportive and only wants to be abusive, you're better off without him. No one deserves abusive treatment. ((Hugs)) & prayers for you! 🙏🌼

Jul 07, 2015 9:57 PM

I have fibromyalgia and chronic pain and mental illness also it is not a laughing matter you need to get him to read up on it read about it

Jul 07, 2015 10:15 PM

Devilchick, I'm sorry if you were offended by my light hearted joke about letting a hammer or pan drop on his foot. It was not said to make fun of the situation. I find laughter helps when feeling down, and that's all I was trying to do... Make drummergirl49735 laugh. I also have fibro and mental illness, so I do understand how serious it is for her boyfriend to understand and be supportive. I apologize if you thought it was making light of the seriousness. 🙏🌼

Jul 17, 2015 10:00 AM

I agree with gotobef on needing support from your partner . My wife is very supportive. More than I could've hoped for, but there are still times when her frustration comes out and it's obvious to me that she can never truly understand because she's not going through it. So I just do my best to explain it how I can and then I have to let it go until it comes up again. WWe're all human and not perfect, so we just have to appreciate any support we can get. HHugs to all!

Jul 17, 2015 10:19 AM

I just read the spoon theory and wow! It's perfect for explaining our situation.

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