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How soon into a new relationship/friendship do you talk about your condition?

Mar 16, 2017 5:34 PM

Just wondering how you guys handle meeting new people. It seems a bit much to bring up immediately, but you also don't want to waste your time with someone who won't understand or be supportive. As much as I try not to let the pain define me, it IS a major part of my life, so I try to explain when necessary so that nobody freaks out when I burst into random tears

Mar 16, 2017 6:02 PM

There is no answer except to share what you are comfortable with sharing. If the person you are sharing your information with is truly interested in you and a quality person they will understand. If they do not care or take the time to listen they are not worth being in your life. If you have not heard about the spoon theory look it up on google. I have found it very helpful. Unfortunately having a chronic illness tends to limit our abilities to be social and we end up canceling outings at the last minute. Those friends that care about you and love you will understand and be there for you when you are ready. Trust yourself you will know what is right.

Mar 16, 2017 6:24 PM

Another spoonie!!! I used to use energy to explain it until I read that story! Now people understand SO much better when I try to explain. And when I say, I HAVE NO reserve spoons in the drawer, you might, because you are well and have that drawer to call on. My silverware drawer was emptied by genetic illness a LONG time ago!

Mar 16, 2017 6:35 PM

I tell people immediately. Not everything but that I don't shake hands due to extreme joint pain. If they ask I explain more.

Mar 16, 2017 6:37 PM

I have heard the term spoon but not the story. I'm on it!

LMB , your right you will know when the time is right.
I am private about my illness .
I'm not ashamed of it . I don't like pity parties.
I'm not someone's " poor her" doll.
I know my limitations . I learned that the hard way, lol.
If I cancel a true friend loved one will understand without the need for an explanation. If not... oh well!
I only answer to two people my kids!

I'm just saying that works for me.😊

Mar 16, 2017 9:13 PM

@Cougarlicious I agree. I know someone is always worse off than I am. I have spent 20 years helping others in a hospital setting. I once had a patient that was horrible to me and my staff. He was pissed because he tried to kill himself with a gunshot to the head and screwed it up. He would throw things and spit at us. I was done and finally told him that it was not our fault he fucking screwed up. I offered him my full name and license number. Never had another problem with him. After a few years had passed he came and thanked me and apologized. I do not do pity parties either. I do have alot of empathy and compassion.

Mar 17, 2017 1:09 AM

Yes, empathy and compassion are the key to success .
We all make choices in life some are good some are not. Some learn from a mistake others don't .

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