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How to cope with friends

Oct 17, 2017 5:17 PM

So I've just managed to get out of the house for the first time in months with my 3 best friends which was wonderful until I had all three of them gang up on me telling me to come off all my meds and that fm is a non disease and that with friends like them I do t need to be on my anti depressants. I'm so gutted and feel like absolute rubbish after having these three friends in particular basically tell me it's all in my head. How do you guys deal with this? Xxx

Oct 17, 2017 5:24 PM

They don't understand nor know what they are talking about. I'm sure they just want you back 100%

Oct 17, 2017 5:52 PM

I had a friend who would say things like that all the time when I was first diagnosed. It took time but eventually I realize that she was just trying to do what she thought was best for me. We sat down and talked and I told her how her comments and actions made me feel and we got past it. It might take time and communication but I'm think if you guys talk honestly it might start to help things go in the right direction.

Oct 17, 2017 8:29 PM

@newty and @angelface have given you great advice. People mean well. They just want their old friend back. I think a good talk with them individually, face to face will help. 💐💐💐

Oct 18, 2017 11:44 PM

I could not handle my friends not being supportive of me. The ones who don't believe me i eventually lost contact with. I personally have to surround myself with people who believe my pain. I only have one good friend and my boyfriend in my life still. I am not telling you to get rid of your friends. Thats just a hard choice i made for my health. I would talk to them first let them know how it is effecting you.

Oct 19, 2017 12:03 AM

I only spend time with people who understand what I go through. I have a couple who I am very close with who understand and who I get lots of support from. Surround yourself with caring and loving friends! The others don't matter in the large scheme of things!

Oct 21, 2017 2:59 PM

Sound like your friends are assholes.

Jan 19, 2018 5:35 AM

Everyone is a doctor and a psychologist when you have chronic pain. I'm so sorry you are going through this. People jump to stupid conclusions because they assume what they can't see- your pain- doesn't exist to them and what they can see- your sadness because of your pain- does.

But tbh I also wanna say pain is never "only in someone's head"anyway- the mind can definitely cause pain- real perceivable pain and even if someone's physical pain was caused by mental health it makes it no less legitimate. I just want to add that because I hate how people seem to disregard pain stemming from the mind as real. It's often the hardest to fix coz the mind is so complex. Its why stress and anxiety can exacerbate pain so so much. The relationship between the body and the mind is amazing and tragic.

I wish you all the best .*hugs*

May 10, 2018 4:27 AM

I have recently similar situation with my friends and I don’t think they will speak to me ever again. It upset me that they were saying “we here to help” “get off the meds” “we all know depression”. Now who ever tells me “I care, I want to help you” it triggers my anxiety as people just think they know how to help but when the first obstacle comes in thier way they will abandon you... so I don’t ask for help anymore and I don’t expect one I’m just telling my friends to deal with it or no. I am who I am, nothing changed besides being very sick, so true friends should be there no matter what. So no one speaks to me now from my older friends. Crazy how people treat eachother!

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