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I can't do this...

Nov 18, 2014 2:22 PM

My life was so perfect, I was a star athlete and then I got transverse myelitis and lost everything that I thought made me who I was. I got over the emotional trauma but the pain is terrifying. Tonight it's in my left hip. It feels like I'm dying everytime I move. I have to go write a test tomorrow, sit through two and a half hours of being nauseous and having pain. I don't know if I can do this anymore, for how long my so called fighting spirit will last...

It's been four and a half years... will I ever be able to live with it? To study or work full time? I'm just really tired.

Sorry, I have nowhere else to vent!

Nov 18, 2014 2:48 PM

You Came To The Right Place! I Am Sorry To Hear That The Pain You're Going Through Is Totally Consuming Your Life. I Know, To An Extent, What You're Going Through! I Have Constant, Depressing Pain In My Right Hand, & Now My Right Arm. It Gets Me To The Point Where I "Would Like For The Pain To Be Taken Care Of 'Permenantly'!" That Is How Bad I Want This To Be Over! I Do Not Know What Your Belief System Is, So I Will Not Start Shooting Xhristian Verbages & Philosophies At You. However, Whatever You Do Believe In; Keep Asking " Them" Or "It" To Keep Fighting With You! This App & Site Is Not Only A Place To Vent, But You Can Also Use It When You Go To Drs' Ofcs. To Kind Of Give Them A Chart Of Your Daily Life. From This, They Should Probably/Possibly Alter & Help You Manage Your Pain In Different Ways To Help Give You Some Comfort! DO NOT GIVE UP THE FIGHT! It & You Will Get Better! I Am Sending Thought Into The Ethers For & Asking For Survival & Health! Keep Going!!!!

Nov 18, 2014 3:42 PM

I am at home from work with a bad flare and I often think how am I going to live life to the "fullest" not like I've always imagined. but we can do it! Keep going and find your niche while having pain in your life. don't give up!

Nov 18, 2014 8:10 PM

TM532, My heart goes out to you, and everyone else on here. I too was in the prime of my life & career when it all came tumbling down. I had a mass which caused major surgical repair & complications. From there it spiraled from one thing to another; fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, pelvic floor congestion & dysfunction, just to name a few. And they're all completely life altering. What does get me through it all some ask? 1) Remember to take one day at a time, and accept what I can & cannot do each day; 2) faith that God will get me through it, because without my faith I would no longer be suffering... But my family & friends would be. As Excitedlady2014 suggested, find faith to believe, and know you do not suffer alone! Saying a prayer for you & all to have strength & grace to get through one day at a time.

Nov 18, 2014 8:56 PM

I'm sorry for your pain. I'm in the prime of my career, hurt my shoulder at work (taking care of people ), had to have 3 surgeries and this has changed my life. Chronic pain, feeling depressed, but I agree with everyone, exercise your faith, sometimes I can only take an hour at a time. Don't ask your body to do more than it can. Make the best of your good days. Better days are ahead. Take care, prayers going up for all.

Nov 18, 2014 10:30 PM

I feel terrible for not completely trusting God when I have pain but it feels like all my prayers only reach the ceiling... I can deal with the pain, but I'm in the middle of my final exams and the stress triggered my depression (I'm bipolar). Taking it day by day was all that worked but now I have to live step by step, minute by minute! I'm 17. I have my whole life ahead of me but I'm living from one agonising minute to the next!

Thank you for all your kind words and prayers!♡

Nov 19, 2014 5:20 AM

At times when I've felt like you, finding it hard to rely on faith, that's when I find I need to reach out to others around me, to cry, talk, or pray with or for me. Just about a year after my health problems started, I was listening to Family Life radio, and a caller called in asking for prayer for her pain. She was young like you, and about to graduate when she was in a horrible accident that left her crippled and wheelchair bound. The station host asked her how she was so positive in light of all she'd been through. Her response caught me off guard & made me look at my situation differently. She said, "I've been raised in church and all, but I was not close to God until after the accident. He made me realize that even though I have limitations & depend on others for some assistance, I still have a lot to give of myself to others. I began volunteering with handicapped children." I thought about what she said and asked myself, "why not me? Who am I to not have disabling illnesses?" Others born with disabilities don't know any difference of change in their lifestyle, like those of us who experience the freedom of moving, going, & doing. So every day I thank God for my issues, because He says that even through adversity we can receive blessings. And He's allowed me to realize certain things that have been a blessing in my life, or others around me because of the changes to my health & lifestyle. I try not to question "why me, why now," anymore. And I refuse to let the negative thinking take hold of me, because I don't want to become a bitter, resentful, person like someone in my family is; she has glaucoma and is losing her sight. But all she does is feel sorry for herself and want to die. Because she cant see to drive her world has ended in her own eyes. Many family members have commented that her attitude "sucks the happy right out the door!" I try to remind her that her children & grandchildren still find her very important, and that hers years of life experience are something she could share with them. Personally, I do my best to stay positive, and when I feel I can't go another step I ask God for strength to get me through what I am facing. Don't give up, keep faith & trust God. You can still shine, maybe not in the way you had planned, but in God's plan for your life.

Nov 23, 2014 3:42 AM

ask for composite for that nausea! I too was a varsity swimmer, but I'm glad I stopped in college or my pain would be worse. stat strong. your athletic achievements are still yours to keep! I still brag about it, even from my wheelchair ;)

Nov 23, 2014 3:43 AM

ps try watching dr house. he is my disabled hero.

Nov 23, 2014 3:48 AM

ps. I don't know if there is a god, but there is evidence for reincarnation. I sometimes have wonderful realizations when I imagine why my spirit chose this body for me. if there is a good deity, he is likely unable to change your spirit for you. I imagine that I am here to learn patience, stoicism, compassion, and humility. perhaps I forgot those things in my last life. perhaps the gods or god is watching you redeem yourself and you will finally be ready for a more heavenly existence. I certainly like to hope so.

Nov 23, 2014 4:37 AM

Buddisihm has helped me sort through some stuff. Pema Chodron is my teacher. Meditation has helped as well.

Nov 23, 2014 4:39 AM

I am buddhist too. meditation is like morphine, but more consuming

Nov 23, 2014 7:32 PM

I went to classes for 6 months studying Mindfulness Meditation for chronic pain and I found it did nothing at all for any serious pain locations other than maybe providing me with some temporary minor relief of my headaches.
People should not go into meditation thinking it will cure serious chronic pain, it may provide some people with some psychological improvements in their lives and maybe provide some minor physical improvements but it is not a cure for serious chronic pain.
I am not suggesting don't try it, just don't go into it thinking its a miracle cure if you are suffering serious pain from real medical reasons.

Nov 24, 2014 12:21 PM

I'm sorry for your pain. I do Quantum Touch energy medicine and would be happy to give you a free session. If you have any questions, you can email me at tranquilityfullspectrum@gmail.com. and there is no catch and I'm not selling anything.

Nov 24, 2014 4:16 PM

I just want to say that your responses on this thread are so encouraging! Especially those speaking of faith in God! Thank you for your encouraging words!

Nov 25, 2014 3:51 PM

There is A God!! I know cause My Hod Healed me of Discoid Lupus that I was suffering for 10 years!! I had big sores all over my arms back legs and was starting on my face too. Really Ugly too!! I have scars now!! I showed my Pastors wife and then she wanted to show the Pastor. So I did and they all started praying with me. Before I knew it. The Sores were gone. Just scars!! What I'm trying to say is " there is a God!! I Believe too!! Just Believe. Receive. And wait cause Gid just wants you to ask, I was Healed!!! Thank you JESUS. Just wanted u to know!! Hope u get some Relief Sweetie!!

Nov 27, 2014 11:50 AM

I was told to take it "one day at a time". That really didn't work, I couldn't do one hour at a time.

A good preacher I had the fortune to hear talking at a business seminar said "inch by inch anything a cinch". It's true. Look at whats in front of you for the next few minutes, and then the next.

Nov 27, 2014 1:22 PM

How do you eat an elephant?????? One bite at a time!!!

Nov 27, 2014 11:22 PM

Amen! God does not expect us to do but two things 1) ask for His help and 2) believe that He will help. If we ask for His help this means we believe that He "is". Believing that He is and then asking for His help means we have FAITH in His ability to meet our need. Faith + Prayer = Miracles

Nov 28, 2014 4:55 AM

Pema Chodron has a wide selection of books. "When things fall apart" is a great one. She has a Buddhist take on everything so not religious, she just makes you think and feel better with her words. She is amazing. As a woman she really speaks to me. Her book help me work thru Anxiety from my pain. All of her books are fantastic!

Nov 30, 2014 12:50 AM

I've suffered so long I've had doubts of ending it all. But I fight. Fight Fight Fight. Its hard when it seems the Dr are not in my corner. Keep+fighting. Seeking+knowledge and help. Pull all your faith and include friends and family. Explain how it's changed everything. Good luck. God speed.

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