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I can't win for losing

Apr 10, 2016 11:27 PM

Fair warning...I'm on a poor me trip. Venting ahead!

I've been off work since Oct for an elbow injury. But, so much more is going on leading to chronic pain. Everyone I've seen will only look at the arm, not the whole picture. My physiotherapist thinks the chronic pain is in my head and I need to stay positive. The surgeon says I'm feeling pain because I'm old and overweight. The Rheumatologist says I'm feeling pain because I used to be an athlete, and athletes don't deal well with pain.

Everyone agrees I have arthritis in both my elbows and my knees. There are no other X-rays or CT scans to show any other areas. I'm not looking for something to be wrong with me, but there is something going on. How do I get someone to look at the whole picture?

I've heard everything on the elbow injury from I'm not active enough, I'm too active. I'm too happy, I'm too depressed. My background is important, my background isn't important. I'm overweight, my weight has nothing to do with it. All the focus is only on the arm.

I'm feeling like I'm going crazy, like maybe I'm exaggerating my pain. I don't think I am, but I'm starting to feel guilty, like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. But then, all the Drs imply that I can't go back to work. I'm so confused, and yeah, I'm feeling confused, anxious and depressed About it all! How do I process all of this? Whose advise do I listen to? How do I get someone to look further? I just want to scream...

Apr 11, 2016 1:23 AM

dlwc58, there are times when our brains do perceive pain as worse than it is. That being said, I'm sure not saying the pain is in your head. I KNOW you're in pain. I've been going to pain management for 23 years and in the first 18 years had 29 surgeries. The problem started in my shoulder and doctors told me that I needed to walk and that the motion of moving my arms while I walk would help. I had X-rays, ct scans, MRI's and was told that they didn't see anything. I kept explaining that my scapula was winging out and popping up at the top causing horrible pain. All of the tests came back negative. I said to the doctor that if I am laying on my back and my arm and shoulder sre in their normal position, how do you expect to see the problem. Well, one day the doctor said he wanted to try a different X-ray. He gave me 15 pound weights to hold in each hand and relax my shoulders and arms. Well, my left shoulder hung down so far that the tech said to me to relax my right shoulder. When I told him it was he took the pictures and low and behold there was a problem. Well, that was the first surgery.. Other things started to go wrong. If a doctor dismissed me, I found another. It sounds like you are seeing the proper type of doctors but need to change who they are. You need to be listened to. Get updated scans and X-rays, MRI's or whatever needs to be done. I hope that you get the help they you need to get help. Wishing you the very best and l hope that you are able to get the treatment you need. {{{Hugs}}}💕🙏🏻

Apr 11, 2016 9:27 AM

I totally understand what you're going through. I just went through 2 years of it. I'm seeing my internist today for a diagnosis. He's the only specialist out of many seen who not only believed me but saw the disease right away. That's the very short version of the story. This to say you're not going crazy. You know your body better than any doc ever will. Don't give up until you find someone who will listen.

Apr 11, 2016 4:51 PM

Alwayzinpain, how horrible for you! That sounds incredibly painful! I do understand how the pain is in my head...how pain signals travel. So, I get that the pain IS in my head. But that internal voice of mine says, 'She's saying you're crazy!' :). I will keep trying. If I don't advocate for myself, who will? It's difficult though because it takes about six months to see a specialist. If you don't like the one you saw you wait six months to see another, or longer since they can see you already saw another. I was just really frustrated by all the hurry up and wait.
Gibber, I'm glad to hear your wait it over. Even though the diagnosis doesn't offer relief, it does give you a focus. Like I said, I'll keep at it. It's nice to hear others say I'm not crazy :)
So, my next step...what should it be? I guess I should push for some blood tests. That can happen fairly quickly even here. I'm feeling more optimistic today. Poor me trip over...My GP just left for mat leave. She's great, but maybe the new guy might see something with fresh eyes.

Apr 11, 2016 5:10 PM

Well my appointment got cancelled by the doc on very until tomorrow now. I cried at first. Talk about torture. Grrr. Ask maybe to see an internist. They treat The whole body. That's who found disease in me. He found it in my mouth of all places. Where an ENT told me things were normal. They're not at all. Also just by feeling he found tons of swelling all over where I was told by 2 Rheumies there was none. No you're definitely not crazy. I was even told my 3x positive ANA tests were false. They are not according to the internist.

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