I hate my life. I truly do... Today is memorial day, or whatever random holiday it is today...my moms friend invited us to a cook out...of couse we have to go....
So here I am....
Siting in a fucking corner while everyone eats food and is laughing and having a wonderful time.
I hate my life.
I knew I should have just sad I dont want to go...but of course my stupid brain thought it would be okay.
I'm so stupid for coming here. I just want to go home and go cry my eyes out.
Why am I even fucking alive.
There's no reason. I'm not accomplishing anything in life. I'm in a down ward spiral destin for death.
I can't help but sit here and hate everyone here for being able to eat food and drink water and live there lives.
There's no reason for me to be alive, I haven't accoplished shit since I was 11 years old. I dont even know why I had hope that this shit would go away.
I might as well sit in my house and do nothing for the rest of my life because Thats basically all I'm doing now.
I'm not really looking for advice to be "stronger" or anything. I have gotten enough of that from everyone I know for too long.
I just need to type.
Which funny enough is just causing more pain.