Today was so fun. Not. I went to my grandpa's house and he decided to blame the divorce on my sis and I. Our grandma didn't even know. I came to talk to him because he's gave my step mom a loan for an exercise machine. She let's people use it, it's her home business. Except that almost no one actually uses them. I want to keep the one we have because it doesn't trigger the earthquake flashbacks like the other one does. He doesn't care. I just don't understand. He was friendly when we saw him a few days ago. When I asked him what changed, he said "You know what changed!" but I don't. I'm still me. I still have chronic issues. My step mom still gives me panic attacks. He said my step mom would pick up the exercise machine. I said, "No, someone else can pick it up. She gives me panic attacks." He told me I needed to grow up. What the heck? I'm 14, this is the 2nd divorce, you're ignoring me, and you're telling me to grow up?!? My sister and I tried to keep talking. I was already sobbing but she was holding it together. I don't know how. Then he started using "I hear you." Dude, it's obvious you're just tuning me out. I wanted to punch something. Eventually, my sis and I were both sobbing while he just sat there. Arms crossed. Ignoring us. "I only want the best for you guys." Yeah, right. Seconds later, "You made a choice to separate. This is where we are." He implied that it was our fault. My sis and I were sobbing, finally leaving. His choice was clear. He'd rather ignore the facts of theft, cheating on my dad, talking to my sis and I about her fantasies with the other family before talking to my dad about it, the list goes on and on. We went to the store. Our grandma was there. She's one of the sweetest people I know. My sis walked out. She walked in, and paused. Grandma asked if my sis needed a ride home. She saw the tears. A red botched face. "Are you okay?" I believe she didn't know what was going on. Suddenly, everything seemed much worse. This sucks. Hostility sucks. I'm tired.