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Jan 03, 2020 9:52 PM

My heart was shattered about 11 am today. My oldest sister called tmo say she found thre middle sister in thre floor unresponsive. She's gone! She didn't suffer because the aneurysm caused instant death. She's head a headache for 2 weeks but wouldn't go to a doctor. I'm comforted knowing she no longer suffers, as she has several years with multiple chronic issues.

My head is splitting and my eyes are swollen. I wish I could understand why God takes some suddenly like her & leaves others to linger long & suffer like my stepmom & Dad & my Mom did. Sudden hurts worse every time, much worse. I'll be lucky if my eyes open tomorrow. My heart is shattered & I can't quit crying. She often said she would be the first of us siblings to go. I wish she hadn't been right. πŸ˜­πŸ’”

Jan 03, 2020 10:57 PM

Hi Sorry 😐 to here that Flappy I’ll say prayers for you ..I’ll be going to see my friend soon bc, her boyfriend had passed away ... If you need ever someone to chat with I’ll come in and answer you ok ...
Hug gently . Just know that she is in a safe place and looking down on you and your family ... Shore πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸŒˆπŸŒˆπŸ€—πŸ€—β€οΈ)))) night be safe Flappy

Jan 03, 2020 11:00 PM

Btw to let you know I’m the youngest of my two Sisters ... Hug Shore

Jan 04, 2020 1:52 AM

Thank you so much Shore, your support & knowing you are there for me helps.πŸ˜Šβ€πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jan 04, 2020 7:46 AM

Your Welcome hug gently I’m going to Apple bees today for lunch. With my friend and fiancΓ© it’s my birthday Monday and my friend Tuesday . What helps me is n m edit stink and relaxing 😌... hug Shore πŸ™πŸ™πŸŒˆπŸ€—β€οΈβ€οΈ

Jan 04, 2020 3:31 PM

Oh Flappys, my heart is breaking for you! I will be praying for you my friend, if you need anyone to talk to I’m here for you my friend.much love and prayers! ❀️ πŸ™

Jan 04, 2020 7:12 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss FlappysLady81. You have had more of your share of losses. I'll light a candle for her tomorrow. I'll ask for prayer for you. You will be in my prayers.

Jan 04, 2020 8:49 PM

Happy early birthday Shore! I hope you and your friend had a nice lunch.

Moparmom & AnimalLover2, thank you so much for the prayers! It was & is very much needed & appreciated. I didnt sleep at all last night. But as tired & stressed as I was, I could feel a calm strength in me when I had to diffuse a situation between my sister's children at the arrangements. I told them not to disrespect her memory or the rest of her family or each other, to set aside their issues until she's buried; they can go at it afterwards but just leave the rest of us out of it. They can't even pay for the funeral, us siblings are, so they are going to behave. I'm so tired and my hip is hurting from the traveling back & forth. But God is my strength and He will see me through. I just wish it weren't true. I'm feeling a little numb tonight. Hugs love & prayers to allπŸ˜”πŸ’žβ€πŸ™πŸŒ·

Jan 07, 2020 3:04 AM

Aww Flappys, Im so sorry to hear that hun, my prayers are with you hun big warm but gentle hugs πŸ€—πŸŒ·πŸŒ·β€οΈβ€οΈ

Jan 07, 2020 9:02 AM

FlappysLady I was very saddened to hear about your sisters passing unexpectantly like that. I was off for about a week due to illness myself ( bad head cold/ sinusitis). It hurts when you lose any of your sisters but the oldest and youngest seem to be the hardest. My brother in law died from an aneurysm. He was in the break room with his head down. The doctor said it was instantaneous. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you gentle hugs {πŸ€—} πŸŒΉπŸ’œπŸ¦‹

Jan 07, 2020 11:23 AM

You’ve been through so much my friend. Hang in thereπŸ€—πŸ™πŸ’œπŸ¦‹

Jan 07, 2020 7:24 PM

So sorry to hear of your loss. :(

Jan 09, 2020 9:23 AM

Thank you, each & every one. Yesterday was a very hard day laying her to rest. But the service was simple & beautiful, though very hard to believe it is real. I'm still crying on & off, as I'm sure will be the case for time to come. I think it's harder losing someone unexpectedly versus having time to prepare for the inevitable like when both my parents died following long illnesses.

The butterfly was always very special to my sister and I found out the meaning behind her love of butterflies yesterday at her funeral. She always hated the thought of the Easter bunny representing Easter & the resurrection of Christ. She much preferred "the butterfly chrysalis hatching into the butterfly" as representing Christ's resurrection from the grave. And it represented her "new beginnings" as a believer.
I know some on the site have different beliefs, and I respect everyone's right. I'm just sharing this as a special memory of my sister. Love hugs & prayers for all! πŸ˜Šβ€πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jan 11, 2020 6:49 PM

I agree FlappysLady, I’ve lost many family members and the hardest is when your not ready for it. I lost my twin sister that way. Here one day gone another. Funny, our symbol between each other is the butterfly.πŸ¦‹ she always said she liked butterflies because they were free. To this day when I see a butterfly I smile. I have butterflies in one source or another because it brings me peace knowing her soul is free from this earth. Peace and love πŸ’• sent to you my friend and hoping your tears will turn to an inner peace knowing she is free from all the cares of this world.πŸ’œ

Jan 11, 2020 7:58 PM

Thanks, and the same to you!πŸ™‚πŸ’žβ€πŸ™πŸŒ·

Jan 12, 2020 11:06 AM

FlappysLady81 I am so sorry for the unexpected passing of your sister. There aren't adequate words that can heal your broken heart. Only the Great Comforter sent by our Lord and those who love and can support you during this time. Please know that I lift you up in prayer daily during your time of grief.

Jan 12, 2020 9:37 PM

Thank you MySistersKeeper. You are very right that only God can help heal the pain. I know she's in a much better place, & that she never knew what hit her so she didn't suffer. But it's the little regrets of missing opportunities, especially after we lost our Dad only 20 months ago, to stay super close to all my siblings. I hope I can do better to stay closer to the other 3.

I realize it's my fibrofog that causes me to forget what "I think of" & "planned to do" all the time, and it angers me. Like having planned to call her New Year's Day, but forgetting, then 2 days later she was gone! We only live an hour apart (except the youngest lives up north), but with my hip & their own ailments its always months apart for us to get together. Three times we planned to do so and at the last minute the 3 canceled on me. And that makes me angry too, partly because they live together & always did things without even asking me if I'd like to join them, like short road trips or just eating out. They couldn't seem to arrange their schedules to get with us for Christmas, so my hubby and I cancelled our plans last minutes on Christmas Eve and drove to see them; had we not done so it would have been over 2 months that we'd not seen her. I actually told my hubby, "We never know what life holds in store & this could be the last Christmas we are all together." The irony of that is my oldest sister who had to work past lunch, told the other 2 who all 3 lived together, "If we dont eat at least one meal together for New Year's Day it doesn't bode well for how the rest of our New Year will go (the other 2 ate lunch together but didn't want supper). How ironic & sad!

I'm really still in shock trying to grasp she's gone as reality; I know it's real but I dont want to believe it. Sorry for rambling but I have no-one else to talk to. I think it's all caused my immunity to nose-dive because I ended up at urgent care this morning; I have bronchitis and sinusitis infections that are affecting my asthma. Anyway, thank you & everyone again for your prayers, virtual hugs, & support, it really means a lot! Suffering chronic illnesses and being mostly homebound, this community makes up my social life. Hugs love & prayers that everyone here will have a blessed week ahead!πŸ™‚πŸ’žβ€πŸ™πŸŒ·

Jan 18, 2020 2:05 AM

FlappysLady81, No need to apologize in your grief. You know the stages of grief although there is no real order. It's not unusual for you to be in disbelief. It is good that you followed the spirit within that caused you to pursue a visit in spite of other plans. Nothing happens by accident. As long as you put forth the effort to get together with your loved ones that's all you can do. I am also often left out of gathers with my sisters and sometimes my children. One they don't like the reminder that I am ill. Also they don't live a like as pleasing to God and I am a reminder of that sometimes. It's hurtful but I try to move pass it and try to remember the choice is theirs not mine, the problems are theirs not mine... You know with the stress you are going through, the grief, it's having a field day on your body. You need more rest and to take care of yourself. It's no wonder you didn't end up at the hospital. Self-care is important and even during this time must be a priority. I continue to lift you up in prayer as well as your family during this time.

Jan 18, 2020 7:11 PM

Thank you MySistersKeeper, your words were comforting. I actually had about a 20 minute crying spell yesterday when looking at the poem chosen for her obituary memorial. I guess I really didnt pay it much mind the day we chose it or at her funeral. Unfortunately, now my siblings & I are caught in the middle between our sister's grown children, fighting over control of her personal belongings (has no valuable property, only debts). Having lived with the other 2 siblings, they told the children nobody was walking out (of their house) with anything without a court appointed executor authorization because we (siblings) would not choose between the 2. Ridiculous beyond belief! The stress we are all under isn't necessary. I still have laryngitis but at least they arent still trying to call me. πŸ™πŸ˜„

And another sad thing, the day after our sister's funeral my hubby & I went to check on my stepmom (we had planned to tell her about our sister last Sunday). But her roommates bed was empty, as in no mattress, no clothes, nothing. My stepmom seemed to be trying to focus on folding & unfolding clothes in her drawers, which was unusual. When I asked about her roommate she simply said, "she's gone." Three days later my oldest sister went by, and as she walked in & hugged our stepmom she told my sister the same simple 2 words as she looked over at the empty bed. I told my sister we need to wait until we are all well to go together and tell her our sister has passed away, because apparently she can comprehend it. And she was very close to this sister because they both liked to joke & cut up & tease others. The home's head nurse said if she will miss her not coming & wonder why then we need to tell her. Part of me hates to because I dont want to have her spiral downward again. But its all in God's hands. Hugs love & prayers for a good night, or day where you may be, to all!πŸ™‚πŸ’žβ€πŸ™πŸŒ·

Jan 18, 2020 9:24 PM

I’m so sorry your under such stress right now as your mourning the loss of your sister. It’s not right what her children are doing but you can’t control what they will say or do but only have control over how you react. My sisters keeper is right. Your immune system is being compromised even further with all the stress and sorrow your experiencing in your life right now. As I stated in another subject you talked on about your poor health It’s really important for you to take the time out and take care of yourself. What would your sister say to you? I’m keeping you in my prayers and hope that with the grace of God you will feel better both physically, emotionally and spiritually. Our Lord is with you always. Talk to him, yell if you need to. Anything you tell him he already knows. Remember he’s promised us he will always be with us even to the end. πŸ™πŸ€—πŸ˜˜πŸ’•

Jan 19, 2020 10:49 AM

Painwarrior, thank you & Amen to that! I am staying quiet & resting this weekend. My voice is somewhat better but I'm staying as quiet as possible as long as possible. I have a little more energy today too. My hubby has been feeding me chicken soup, but today its chili for the chilly cold front that came in. I am taking care of me and the rest can do as they please. My sister, sadly put her kids first and didn't take care of herself. I feel like it contributed to her young death. Thanks again, to all my friends here!πŸ™‚πŸ’žβ€πŸ™πŸŒ·

Jan 21, 2020 10:17 AM

Hope your doing better with each new day. Can’t wait for spring up here in Pa. It’s flurrying outside with several inches still on the ground. Take Care and keep warm! πŸ™πŸ¦‹πŸŒ·

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