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I really need help with my parents... (please read)

Oct 31, 2018 2:40 AM

My parents fully know about my condition as I live with them and I’m 15, they go to all my doctors appointments and scans etc but they really don’t understand. The reason I’m sure they don’t is because whenever I’m in pain that I cant do something they just say that I’m “being lazy” or things like “it’s not that bad just get over it” or “some people just deal with the pain where as you don’t” or “stop trying to get attention” or “ooh yeah my back is a little sore today too” there are many more as well. Another thing is if I’m crying because of my pain they will say “stop the crocodile tears”/“water works” as my pain is already affecting my mood this is just making it worse and as we all know which will then affect my pain. I really don’t know what to do as when I try to explain how I feel they just end up shouting at me and we end up in arguments and me in tears. Please reply with any thing you think I could find useful. 🙏

Oct 31, 2018 6:06 AM

That's a difficult one - I'm 31 and experience the same with my parents. Luckily I don't live with my parents now so I can have my own space from them whereas you live with yours. If it was my child I would ask the dr's to fully explain the condition, the pain and how the pain affects everything from ability, fatigue and mood. I know it's hard but stay calm and stay consistent - once they understand it's constant and does not change they might start to appreciate what you are saying more. Maybe reading through websites together would help? Are they open to that? Or you could show them some of the threads on here - people of all ages suffering the same as you. They could message some of us adults with chronic pain - I don't mind 🙂

I hope you and your family get through this together, chronic pain requires a team full of love and patience.

Take care

Love Hayley x

Oct 31, 2018 12:54 PM

Thank you Hayley I will try the things you mentioned to see if they help. ☺️

Oct 31, 2018 6:54 PM

May I suggest that you talk to your school counselor to suggest you have family counseling. Pain at your age is harder, and your family doc should have suggested it.

Nov 01, 2018 3:03 PM

I would also try to get another party involved; school, your doctor, an understanding aunt or grandma or anything like this? Would be nice for you to have someone help you do the talking and have your back. Good luck!

Nov 18, 2018 12:00 AM

Wow!!! I first want to say, I'm sorry you have to go through this pain called RSD/CPRS and it is even harder really young and Not supportive parents.
I've been through it all, especially the hard road of the parent thing. Now, they never said too many things mean/harsh, they did the ignore and pretend nothing is wrong, because the pain is NOT that bad. I could write a book on How they treated me, but No one would believe the abuse. Now, you are 15. As a person who knows the pain, understands being a parent. This is what I would do/say.
I would talk to my Dr.(if you have a great relationship) and tell them my parents are not understanding can you explain to them HOW bad this pain is, please 😊 Then see how they react. If nothing, then send them brochures, and/or videos of others talking about RSD/CPRS. Talk/Write/Send an email stating how you feel, and something they can do to help/support you when you are in severe pain(sometimes parents seem mean when it is fear. Fear that their "baby" is hurting and their is nothing they can do, plus fear of your future, etc..
Give them sometime to breath, soak all the info. in. Be understanding it is ALOT for US and we have it. Good Luck!! If you need more, let me know(this is just the beginning) I have been there, worn the Tshirt and back and finally not just see the light, but living in the light. Thanks to God, my love-my puppy and good meds! 😁😁 Have to laugh!! Keep smiling, you too can make it 20+ better then me. Again, need support, advice or just a smiling emoji let me know. 😎🌼

Nov 18, 2018 11:02 PM

Try finding some resources on this site to be able to show them. It’s got tons of info and other helpful website to go to.

Dec 08, 2018 6:26 PM

Thank you for everyone’s help ☺️and sorry for replying over 20 days later 🙃

Dec 08, 2018 7:20 PM

I'm 16 I fully understand

Dec 21, 2018 7:13 AM

Definitely get your doctors involved sometimes they just need to hear from someone else therapy if they will go? If not remove yourself from situation go to your room try and relax listen to positive affirmations or pain meditations it just listen to favourite music! Mom of three all with own issues ( and to many of my own which husband does not acknowledge either) can’t imagine not believing or supporting my children Through anything! But we’re all here for you, believe you, sympathize with you and know that they are ones with problem not you! Love and prayers!

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