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I was never afraid before....

Aug 09, 2015 12:13 PM

I've been having such rough couple of days. I can't sleep, I am having horrible and over bearing anxiety in the mornings to where I am shaking and feel like I can't breathe!! I have NEVER lived my life in fear of going places. I'm taking a fun trip with my very best friend in the world. As soon as the plan was set, the day picked and re time we're leaving, I went off the rails. I get all bunched up about what happens if I get up that day and don't feel well. We're not going until Friday so why did I start getting myself nuts yesterday?!?! I've always been the one to just get in the car and go. One time just for the hell of it I drove (all alone) down to Virginia Beach (I was 15 minutes from Outer Banks, NC) and I went to see some friends and stayed there 3 days and came home. I wasn't scared and I was all alone and had hand written directions that my friend gave me over the phone!! It took me over 10 hours to get there driving straight through. It took me 9-1/2 to get home because I was familiar with the route from driving down. What the hell is the matter with me?? Why am
I so afraid of nothing?? I know that when the day comes and we get in the car to leave, I'll be just fine. Anticipation is a killer for me. I keep trying to remember what Profiler said about being in the now and just dealing with what is happening right now and not what's GOING to happen. It's hard to control my brain. I'm so sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening. I hope that you all have a peaceful day with less pain. Thanks for being the wonderful group of people that you are. I'll always be greatful.💕❤️

Aug 09, 2015 1:04 PM

This is one area that I should be an expert in by now, but I'm afraid that I'm not... I can so relate to how you are feeling right now! I have a tendency to over think things so often. The best I can offer right this moment is to try to concentrate on something different. Do you have a hobby you enjoy? Do you have a sounds of nature CD you can listen to? (providing nature is relaxing for you of course) :) If you can get your mind onto something else for even five minutes at a time it makes it easier to take your mind off it ten minutes the next time. Hopefully it helps you like it does me.


Aug 09, 2015 4:55 PM

Try using stop, breathe,think app. It is mindfulness, about placing yourself in the here and now. I find it extremely useful on the days when my pain is so unbearable that I want to scream. I hope that you find an answer to cope with your situation.

Aug 09, 2015 5:56 PM

Thank you both so very much for your suggestions. I am going to check out that app and see if it can give me a boost and help me not have that God awful feeling of dread and gnawing in my chest and stomach. I'm tired, it sucks the energy right out of me. I know that once the day is here and we get in the road, I'll be just fine. I'm still going to try that app though!!💕

Aug 09, 2015 7:41 PM

Oh AlwayZ, I'm so sorry your anxiety is so troublesome for you! Follow profiler's advice of the here and now. When you find yourself working try redirecting your thoughts to the fun time with your friend. Anxiety likes to beat us down but once we can identify it's happening we have to change course. Does that make sense? I've had uncontrollable anxiety where I was afraid to leave my house or go in public places. It wasn't fun but I was taught subliminal methods to relax and retain control. (((Hugs))) & prayers you'll be able to redirect your thoughts and focus on your fun trip! 🙏🌼

Aug 09, 2015 7:55 PM

Flappsy, what you said makes perfect sense and I am always so glad to know I am not alone and that there are folks out there like you who truly understand what's happening to me. I am going to do just what you said. I also downloaded the app that was recommended. I know the trip will be fun. Thank you so much, my friend, for your hugs and prayers. They do mean the world to me. Hoping all is well with you. I pray for you every night (along with several others), you have truly touched my heart, Flappsy. Thanks!! 💕🙏🏻🌻

Aug 09, 2015 7:58 PM

Alwayz I'm so sorry that you are feeling like this. I don't know of anyway to help you relax is the breathing exercise. Just try and relax and think about how much fun y'all are going to have. I hope you get to feeling better. I know your going to have a great time on your trip.

Aug 09, 2015 8:04 PM

Thanks Weezie!! I'm sure when the day arrives, I will be fine and have a great time. Meanwhile I will do some biofeedback and also breathing exercises. Just knowing that y'all are here for me helps a great deal. I can't tell you how very much it's appreciated. Hope all is as well as can be with you. Sweet Dreams 💕🙏🏻🌻

Aug 09, 2015 8:07 PM

AlwayZ, you deserve some fun! I truly fight anxiety from taking hold. I use to have awesome relaxation talked but not anymore. I wish I could remember the names so you could find them on CD. I have some wood flute songs by a native American we meet looking ago, and its wonderful too. You get some rest tonight and while falling asleep tell yourself "this is my week and I'm not giving in!" Get ready to go have lots of fun friend!🙏🌼

Aug 09, 2015 8:21 PM

Flappsy, I am going to repeat that to myself from now until I get ready to go. You're right, we ALL deserve to have some fun after all the suffering our bodies and minds go through. I like wooden flute music, Native American Indian Music and CD's with nature sounds like a babbling brook with birds or a soft rain in the forrest. I'll have to get some of these and listen to them softly while I try to rest. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Aug 11, 2015 1:01 PM

Alwayz...I'm having the same issues too. I've talked to my partner about it, but she doesn't fully understand. I know I'm stressing a lot lately but I don't think those are the factors contributing to what I'm feeling.

It feels like a sixth sense I'm having, thinking something traumatic might just happen out of the blue. Still figuring it out till now. Couldn't sleep till wee mornings when I see sunlight then I'll literally pass out from exhaustion. Tired and scared with pain....sigh. Music isn't my thing and I've tried meditation to no avail.

Aug 11, 2015 1:42 PM

Alwayz, I am so sorry that you have been going through this. This is a tremondously scary situation to be in. If you are like me when this happens, my heart feels like it wants to jump out of my chest imagining of all the different things that could possibly go wrong or could happen. And I am wondering at the same time if this happens, what can I do to control the situation or make it better or would I be in the position to even make that possible? So many thoughts. I don't know if this is your situation. I hope not. I am discribing what happens to me and imagining what could possibly happening to you. What I have been doing besides living in the moment, the here, is questioning myself. I ask myself how much control do we really have over life really? We like to think we are in control but we really aren't. We have only control over our thoughts and what we do. So we have to learn to accept that we can't worry about things we can't change or we will be worrying 24/7. That may sound harsh. Trust me, I would never be harsh to you, my dear one. The only thing we can do if we are worrying about medical things if we are out of it, is to have an advance directive that explains directions on our medical conditions if we are not conscious. Also, we can rely on our friends to know us and explain things about us and if not we can teach them before we go, even give them a list with what would need to be done and a list of meds you are taking. You could even set up an online medical profile with all your medical information with one of those medical sites that keeps a medical profile. I think Microsoft has healthvault. Then you could put a website username and password in your wallet for in case of emergencies. I am guessing this is your concern is for your medical situation. I am sorry if I am wrong. If you have other anxieties, I could have other suggestions if you would like to talk about them. I Have done a lot of research on anxiety when I was going through them and still am. Alwayz, I am truly sorry that you are going through this but what I gather through your many post is that you are a very strong person. Strong enough to post this vulnerable part of yourself. You will be strong enough to take this vacation and you will be strong enough to enjoy every second of it. I believe you just need to work out a coulple of things before you leave to make you feel safe. That is what I am thinking is right. I can be so way off. I have been so many times.

Aug 11, 2015 3:51 PM

Hello Profiler... You are such a dear, dear man. You are totally spot on with what your thought about my situation is and you were never, at any moment, harsh. You have been very supportive of me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying that I am a strong person. I often don't feel like I am any more. I suppose most of my worry is that we are going somewhere that I have never been and the directions on the GPS look complex (although they probably aren't). I worry that since I'm not sleeping because of this worrying that I'm going to be exhausted and we're leaving at 5:30am so we can allow for traffic and to find a route with rest stops so we can get food and use the ladies room. I'm also worried about the fact that we will be getting there at 11:30am and leaving by 1:30pm and that we will be caught up in rush hour traffic on the way home. I'm mostly worried that I'll get up in agony and then ruin the trip for my friend and disappoint her. I've been an anxious person since I was a child. Pain and illness has made that worse and I know that you understand that. Someone had recommended an app that is called Stop, Think, Breathe. I'm hoping that it helps because I've had a hard time in really learning to meditate. Thanks for your support, Profiler. You're very kind and I'm glad to know you.💕😊

Aug 12, 2015 1:15 AM

Thanks Alwayz, I think you know by now that the feeling is the same. These things will be fine. You will be fine. Try your best to relax and enjoy. I hope you have the best time you can have. I hope your friends can cover up some of the pain and your medicine works better than usual. I hope you have more joy than pain when it comes to comparison. My best wishes to you, my friend.

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