Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

I wish to God would help people (family) understood how I felt sometimes

Feb 06, 2016 9:12 PM

There are just so many places you can say what you really feel. I can't put anything on Facebook because the boys father would see and try to use it against me. Monday we have hopefully the last hearing about custody of the boys. Because they can't take much more either. Where we live the closest city is 90+ miles away, our town has less then 100 people so if you ( pass gas) lol everyone knows it. It is getting so hard. I have been in so much pain and suffering from anxiety than nothing is helping anymore.
My husband thinks I should throw myself into cleaning the house and getting ready for oldest grandson move in again. I am not made like that when I hurt I can't hardly do one load of laundry in a day, and cook.
He just really understand why. My God you think after being married almost 34 years he would know by now.

Feb 06, 2016 9:51 PM

I'm sorry so sorry your dealing with this. First u should step back and breath. Rest and relax so that u can think a little clearer.
The situation your in is horrible and no one should have to deal with this. Yes I wish the people in our lives coukd just understand how we live everyday. I know your heart is broken and u feel weak. But I feel your be OK..I feel your situation is gonna clear up I don't know all details but right now all I know is if your sick and in pain you won't be any good to anyone. Here u can lean on me

Feb 06, 2016 10:12 PM

I'm sorry your family doesn't understand! I don't know if it would help but have you tried using The Spoon Theory to explain it to him? Are you familiar with that? A quick internet search will pull it up. A gal with lupus used it to explain to friends why she can & can't do things. The idea is that we get so many spoons a day and when they are done, we are done. Cleaning, showering, social visits...everything has a number. And none of us (with chronic pain) can get everything we need done in a day. My husband didn't truly 'get' it but he got something from it. He's been more supportive at times. Sometimes he jokes about me being out of spoons- but at least that means he listened!! Good luck! Do what you can, stop when you know you should. Other people's pressure only hurts us more...

Feb 06, 2016 10:29 PM

I completely understand. My husband asks me everyday "what's wrong with you?" & my reply is "I'm in a lot of pain. I am pushing myself to do the necessary chores etc. however most days lately, I can barely move to get outta bed and get a cup of coffee". We are still honeymooners so I never expected him to turn so uncaring. He says i am just being lazy and should snap out of it.

Feb 15, 2016 3:27 PM

Jnutsch, I couldn't help but chuckle reading your comment of being married 34 years... My hubby and I celebrated our 34th in November. It amazes me every week how he just doesn't seem to get it. He asked me if I wanted to go metal detecting with him last weekend. I anted to say, "Sure honey, I want to trek rough the woods toting a device that is going to pull my arm out of socket," but I was nice. Then yesterday he (once again) commented, "I wish they'd reduce your meds and get you off those that are causing thrush.". I wanted to say, " of OK. I'll come off of it and drop dead room an asthma attack," but instead I was nice and reminded him they are lifetime meds for me. It gets annoying having to remind him as if he's a forgetful child. But then I remember, he is still a little boy at heart. Hugs & prayers as you find ways to deal with your family. I've learned over the last six years that it's easier and less stress just to say nothing. It doesn't matter how much I our a doctor tries to explain, he and others are going to forget. And it's simply because they do NOT have to live our lives. 🙂💕🙏🌼

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community