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Aug 06, 2019 5:58 PM

Sorry not been here for a while. Ive had a hard time tbh. Doc has tried me on a new antidepressant because my mind wasnt and isnt in a very good place. I had my 2nd and last cr spec scan (nuclear medicene) today and i was feeling positive yesterday. Have had a month off work which could be why i was starting to feel more relaxed, then i realised that today after my scan when i get the results in september. No news is good news. But no news also mean no answers. And im terrfied that they will say they cant find anything...which im grateful for of course but then my mind is like thousand miles ahead thinking that if they tell me its all clear then im crazy and its all in my head. Where the heck is this pain coming from then if it isnt shwoing anything. My husband keeps telling me not to think that but this is now 10 years of pain. 2 opoid addictions,endless injections and operations investigations and im bloody sick of waiting in waiting rooms! I just want this all to end 😭 didnt help that the nurse giving me my radioactive injection tells me that her friend had the same issue and then they found somthing so she suied the hospital. I wont do that. Our NHS is allready needing help money is that last thing im thinking about! I go back to work thursday and im so anxious. My boss doesnt understand and trying to explain it when i havnt even got a clue whats going on myself. My husband is so patient with me but even he is now frustrated with me because he wants to know whats happening with HIS sex life (his exact words) im just ready to pack a bag my passport and find an island somwhere! Please tell me im not going crazy!!!

Aug 06, 2019 10:18 PM

Hi 👋 your not crazy I’ll pray for you . But sometime I think that I am.
Bc I’m going through stuff for my back injections and therapy and Rhyitzotomy .
On my right side I just started my first day this morning I have 6 more to go . I’m getting nervous anxious about the up come Rhyitzotomy. I never had this done before .
I hope that I can go through it all my right and left side . But next Thursday I think or Friday I’m have messasge done for my back I. Can hardly wait for that at least .
Letting you know for my fiancé and me he’s been there for since the beginning I ne him.
We have our Saturday nights together all night he motivates me so much .. I just hope that I am with him he says that I do..). I hope that everything goes well with you friend ..... gl hug Shore 🦋🙏🙏🌈🌈🤗Have a nice day .....

Aug 19, 2019 8:24 AM

butyoudontlooksick, I'm so sorry to hear about the stress & pain & depression you are under. The waiting to get results is a very trying time. I've been where you are. As hard as it is try and stay calm and relaxed because stress can amp up the pain level. My hubby would tell your hubby "there's much more to marriage than sex if you really love her; it could be you hurting instead of her." Trust me, it's been zero for 10 years for us because of my physical issues. Then he had prostate cancer and it's no longer an issue for him because he's just grateful to be alive; his dad died from it. Commitment, closeness, and being intimate (without sex) can still keep a marriage strong. You'll get through this, and hopefully you will get your answers soon. Sending hugs love & prayers for a supportive understanding boss and hubby! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Aug 19, 2019 10:44 PM

So sorry to hear of your situation. It can be very frustrating not knowing what is causing all of your pain. We’re approaching the end of August now hopefully in a couple more days ( 11) you will have some answers. I can understand your husbands concern about sex. Hopefully if he really loves you he will adjust to this new reality. FlappysLady it’s going on 10 years for us to. At first it was difficult for him to realize that it wasn’t him personally. He was taking it personally. Like why is it like this? But, he has personally witnessed my severe flairs and began to realize it wasn’t personal at all. With his high BP meds and his recent brush with cancer surgery on his colon he no longer talks about sex. We have learned to express our love in many other ways: snuggling, helping each other, kind acts etc. Marriage is a lot more than just sex.,Don’t get me wrong it’s great but over hyped if you ask me. Lol Love, patience, compassion will get you both thru this difficult time. I’m rooting for you both and hopeful that you not only find answers but also a doctor that will not only treat your condition but listen to your concerns. Sending you 🤗😘🦋hope!

Aug 20, 2019 7:15 AM

Hi guys I’m so glad I have an understanding fiancé we both are struggling with our health issues. We still have our snuggle times and our we nanigans.
He also understands how my back is and he massages it and my legs to with as per cream.
I’m so glad I’m marrying him next year ))))). It not that far off now ))))
I’ll let you know how my therapy goes later this day it in the morning.. my fiancé bring me . Hug ty support andhug Shore 🦋🌈🙏🙏🤗.)))

Aug 21, 2019 5:49 PM

Pretty much told my husbands i camt do everything. I cant be a wife and work full time. I need to rest to work and i need ro rest to be a good wife (without sex) so i handed in my notice. I cannot wait to NOT have the stress of calling in sick at work when im poorley its just not worth it mentally and physically. Health is more impoertant than wealth. He is so understanding really. He helps out more than i give him credit for. Ive booked us a spa weekend away so we can both have time to relax and fingers crossed pain wotn get in the way. And if it does then so be it. Im happier in myself allready knowing im leaving my work. Although my mum is late stages of Alzhimers and that is sending my emotions and body into a....well i dont even have words to describe it. Nunight. Look after one another x godbless xxx

Aug 21, 2019 8:38 PM

Hi butyou good luck in all you do Hug night . Shore 👍🌈🙏❤️🤗have a good one at the spa

Aug 21, 2019 9:31 PM

Your first paragraph hit home for me. In 2006 after many years working full time both at work and home. I was let go from my job. Frankly I didn’t have much choice. I just finished having major back and brain surgery. I was 5 days beyond my family leave time. Returned to work with my belongings in a box. Downsizing they said. “Bull 💩!” I had a personal evaluation before my surgery that spoke highly of me. My oldest sister died my
Mom died and my aunt died all within a short time. Depressed you bet. Burned out probably. My husband wasn’t taking my suggestion a couple months earlier that I to wanted to quit my full time job. I felt like I was “ superwoman” or Joan of Arc. I couldn’t handle it all. The physical pain emotional pain, social pain. Guess it was a sign of things to come. My husband begrudgingly at first but finally saw thru my pain that I truly couldn’t do it all anymore. He’s been very helpful over the years. I made it thru my depression when I decided that life was worthwhile and tried to focus on the good in life. I think it was brave and smart of you to realize our limits and be honest with your hubby. He sounds as though he just needed you to say “I can’t do this anymore” HELP . I think with rest and some self examination of what you want in life and what you can realistically do. I believe this difficult time in your life may be a blessing in disguise. You never know. I wish you well and hope that your life takes a turn to something good for the both of you. We all at times would like to go to that “ island”. In reality it truly would be a lonely existence. 🤗🦋🌸

Aug 22, 2019 9:17 AM

butyoudontlooksick, it's good that you are putting your health first. And an understanding spouse is a true blessing! Hopefully y'all will have a wonderful spa weekend! Peace your activities with rest in between so you can enjoy it too the fullest. Hugs love & prayers for you both! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Aug 22, 2019 9:28 PM

Thank you FlappysLady, I kind of got off message. I do wish the both of you peace love and relaxation. Going to a spa is wonderful in itself but doing it with your loved one is the best medicine you can get. Enjoy and relax 🤗💕🌸🦋💆🏼‍♀️

Aug 22, 2019 9:32 PM

Sorry for getting so negative. I’ve never expressed my feelings about that period in my life. I apologize if it created for you any angst. I suppose in reality I just wanted you to know that I understood what you were going thru. Sending you LOVE 🤗 🦋🌸

Aug 26, 2019 7:49 AM

Painwarrior, apology not needed because we all have to "let loose" now & then, especially when it helps others understand none of us are alone. I think we've all been in similar situations at some point in our life, maybe even multiple times. Hugs love & prayers to you & everyone for a good week!🙂❤🙏🌼

Aug 26, 2019 11:44 AM

Hi. Hmm is it just me or whenever I write something here I get little response ?
I am just not sure 🤔 maybe I’m venting to much maybe I should go back to just just my write in my notes .. Shoukd I ?
Let me know I gtg rest up ... shore 👍🌈🙏❤️🤗. Hi to new comers and everyone. Later just was wondering... have a nice day

Aug 26, 2019 10:57 PM

Shore your just fine🌸 Just be you. Hey we all vent at times isn’t that what friends are for? To listen? Sometimes we just silently agree without commentig. Have a great day🦋💕🤗

Aug 27, 2019 6:56 AM

Hi ty guys I’m doing better today . But need to go to the dr today yet again . I have a big bump like under my right eye . I have to get it. Check it out . I’ll up date you on it later .. it’s like a raised little bump my fiancé says it purple like .
Any ways I’ll up date you ty for everything hug have less pain today Shore 👍🌈🙏❤️🤗

Aug 30, 2019 9:24 PM

Hi sorry ive not been on here again i wasnt ignoring anyway just sorting myself out! Gynea but me on these horrendous tablets that made me blow up so much i couldnt get my jeans on! I litrelly have been wearing what i would call tents just to feel normal! Spoken to my GP today who told me to stop taking them. Pointless because they made me feel worst! After almost 12 hours of not taking one i can feel my face de puffing! Lol feel like a balloon deflating very slowly lol. I handed in my notice and i can allready feel the difference in myself! I feel like i no lonher have to explain myself to anyone anymore! I get my CT results end of september so fingers crossed.prettt sure if they found anything they would have called. But somtimes they dont even look at them untill the appoinment lol im off to loom after my mum who has late stages of alzheimers and is declining rapidally. So im leaving my son (who is 19) and husband to it for 2 weeks. Am looking forward to having a bed all to myself! Lol p.s have any of you downloaded the pain free app? Its linked to the sleep well app. Very good! X gentle hugs to you all xxx all is positive this end...for once!

Aug 31, 2019 8:01 AM

I'm glad you got off that med. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Thanks for telling us about the app.

Sep 01, 2019 8:49 AM

It's good that your doctor stopped that medicine. I was put on Amitiza because my GI tract is super sluggish ever since they removed the mass years ago, and it's getting worse. I'm thinking the Amitiza is not helping at all. I'm going to give it another week or so then call my doctor.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, it's very hard when loved ones have Alzheimers. My Dad had it and passed away last year. My Stepmom has a worse type of it and she's deteriorating more rapidly than my Dad did. Sadly we don't know her life before my Dad, so we can talk to her of old memories. And last week we realized that although she recognizes our faces, my siblings and I are neices or cousins to her, yet she doesn't know our names, and she doesn't remember our Dad at all. 😢 She has no children of her own and her own family just strands back and let's us do it all; they might visit her twice a year. 😡. We promised our Dad we'd take care of her, and he didn't like being around her family, so I can understand why we were named as her health care POA & Executor of her will. We see so many in the home she's at who never get any visitors. I'm going to check out those apps you mentioned. Hugs love & prayers you have a safe & enjoyable weekend!🙂❤🙏🌼

Sep 01, 2019 12:28 PM

Gonna check out the app you mentioned. Sorry about your Stepmom’s rapidly declining condition. My dad had Alzheimer’s and has been gone now for quite some time. It’s a very painful experience for family members to experience. My thoughts and prayers for your stepmom youband your family . I recently came off Prednisone. Boy I lost 30 pounds! That drug packs on the pounds for sure. I recently was recovering from a bout of pneumonia/ blood clots but I normally put back any weight I lose. Meds can do a number on you for sure! Glad to see you got off that med. Hoping you can get some much needed rest. 🌸🙏💤🤗😘🦋

Sep 02, 2019 6:10 AM

Mum is so much better than she was after she went into what i can only describe as hell. We thought we was gonna loose her last weekend. This weeknd when i arrived mum looks like the colour is back in her cheeks and she is more verbal. She is bedbound and isnt eating alot but she is eating what we give her but its better than she was. Bless her. Breaks my heart xx but i have the music playing and she seems to be enioying that. Think my step dad is enjoying the company xx

Sep 02, 2019 9:02 AM

She sounds a lot like my Stepmom is, who is bedbound & doesn't speak much. Even when she does she doesn't always make sense. Sadly she told my sister yesterday she was going to check out and leave for home, and that we need to take all her pictures home with us. 😢 My Dad started talking like that about 6 months before he finally succumbed to heart failure. It is so heartbreaking to watch them slowly fade before your eyes. And it takes every bit of strength you have to get through it. But just know I'm here for you if you need to chat, or just hugs love and prayers, as always for everyone! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Sep 02, 2019 3:57 PM

Hi guys and Flappy and. Animal and all , Have you guys ever had a really bad Head ach ? I sure did last night it kept me up some of the night .But I did manage get some sleep 😴 .. Then my fiancé cane to help me out . I really don’t like those badhead aches . I’m fianally ok 👌 ok now but tired .. I just was letting you know what kind of day I had .. Happy Labor Day .... hug gently Shore 👍🌈🙏❤️🤗🦋

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