Sorry not been here for a while. Ive had a hard time tbh. Doc has tried me on a new antidepressant because my mind wasnt and isnt in a very good place. I had my 2nd and last cr spec scan (nuclear medicene) today and i was feeling positive yesterday. Have had a month off work which could be why i was starting to feel more relaxed, then i realised that today after my scan when i get the results in september. No news is good news. But no news also mean no answers. And im terrfied that they will say they cant find anything...which im grateful for of course but then my mind is like thousand miles ahead thinking that if they tell me its all clear then im crazy and its all in my head. Where the heck is this pain coming from then if it isnt shwoing anything. My husband keeps telling me not to think that but this is now 10 years of pain. 2 opoid addictions,endless injections and operations investigations and im bloody sick of waiting in waiting rooms! I just want this all to end 😭 didnt help that the nurse giving me my radioactive injection tells me that her friend had the same issue and then they found somthing so she suied the hospital. I wont do that. Our NHS is allready needing help money is that last thing im thinking about! I go back to work thursday and im so anxious. My boss doesnt understand and trying to explain it when i havnt even got a clue whats going on myself. My husband is so patient with me but even he is now frustrated with me because he wants to know whats happening with HIS sex life (his exact words) im just ready to pack a bag my passport and find an island somwhere! Please tell me im not going crazy!!!