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I'm not faking and I'm not lazy!!!

Aug 12, 2015 2:07 PM

No on believes me! Do more......don't take naps...it's all in your head.....you don't try.....your just lazy.....these are a few of the thing I hear. Where do you find support and how do you handle these people.

Aug 12, 2015 3:23 PM

My spouse is my biggest supporter. To get the support you need, have your spouse go to a DR's office visit with you and have the Dr explain your illness to your spouse and maybe just maybe he start to back off you. It worked for me and my aunt who has panic disorder.

Aug 12, 2015 3:39 PM

Debmedina, it's very hard to get anyone without chronic pain to understand, unless they are with you almost 24/7. My hubby is my biggest supporter now also. He's watched my health and strength deteriorate over 6 years, despite my best efforts to stay healthy and remain as active as possible. He's been to appts with me and asked questions. I also shared "the spoon theory" at www.butyoudontlooksick.com. All we can do is our best, and rest when we can't. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 12, 2015 4:54 PM

Hi Deb. Sorry to hear you're lacking support. There's a few things already mentioned you could try. You could also print or ask for copies of leaflets/pamphlets on the condition. Most surgeries should have something and definitely the library or even chemist will be able to get some in. Obviously the Internet will have relevant info too. Try to use real medical sites such as the NHS or mayo clinic sites.
Most importantly, you have to learn to forgive yourself. It's very easy to get so caught up in everything others say that we partially find ourselves feeling guilty for being unable to do what we feel we ought to do. I know I do it all the time!😳
Allow others to ask questions if they feel the need but don't let them try to make you feel like any less of a person. No one has the right to do that.
If all else fails, create distance from the negative ppl. If they're unsupportive then you need to avoid their company. If this is difficult then you must tell them how they make you feel. Even it's not vocally.
You can always come on here to rant or just to be amongst non judgemental fellow sufferers.😊

Aug 12, 2015 7:55 PM

My husband is not well educated, coming out of Mexico. He really tries to understand and dose a pretty darn good job. Now and then we have a little wave IN the water. It's my mother, sister etc... They have gone so far as to suggest that they may try to take my children Which only irritatesm, I not conecened, (I have too much medical support for them to stand a chance. I have put this on record with the kids doctors, ots, pts etc...) They refuse to understand. I really wonder how many people experience this kind of thing?

Aug 12, 2015 8:16 PM

Debmedina, there are more than you know. But your family has to prove negligence by you that is detrimental to the health and welfare of your children. They wouldn't have a leg to stand on without physicians, school staff, and DFCS supporting them. Trust me when I say it's a long hard right, and many states wish for children to be with their parents. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 13, 2015 5:50 AM

My spouse after a few years of not believing me had to go to my Drs appt after she seen X-rays that change her so she's my support and goes to all my apts now

Aug 13, 2015 10:56 AM

I can fully understand your concerns for your kid's. My ex husband and his wife tried to take the kids from me one even called dfacts on me and of course our well went out so I had a sinkful of dishes, but everything elese was cleaned even laundry. So I explained vthat to the lady and the cop who came with her, I was terrified! But I told her I knew who called and why and that I had a tpo against her and that if he didn't want to agree on meeting to see his kids and this is the way he was going to do it then a lawyer would be in touch. I still had to bring both kids in to her office when they got off the bus so she could see I wasn't abusing them. Case got dropped and he lost custody of both kids later on down the line. Point is if you got food in your fridge your house is clean and laundry is done ( fridge clean too) kids not looken like they been beaten they don't have reason to keep the case open after 45 day's. Somewhere between then and the 45 days they will pop in and make visit's. If that ever does happen just know I am here I have been through it many times and it will be ok. A word of advice the one time they did take the kids out of the house I asked if they could stay with a family member or a family Friend and they approved. That time was because I was so depressed and I couldn't get any help from my ex ( husband at that time) and in so much pain I let my house go it was bad dirty and my dishes we're even piled up. They gave us 24 hours to clean up so we could get a chance at getting our kids back. I was so embarssed. But it forced my ex to help me and when they stopped by around noon the next day it was already done I didn't need 24 I wanted my kid's back now. So just know I've been through it with them and I'm here for you if you need an ear. Prayer and hugs! πŸ‘ΌπŸ™

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