Since Christmas I just can't seem to get out of this mood, I just don't have the motivation or the energy to do anything or to even care. I feel like I'm coasting along and just bearley doing the minimum for my 2.
I know we've all not been well.....Jo's had an ear infection for nearly 4 weeks and is on her 4th lot of antibiotics I have the same ear infection and on the same ear drop antibiotics (both on highest dose!), doctor wanted to make sure it cleared up both without mine dragging on like Jo's has. And now this morning I've been to the doctors and as I thought I have a UTI again, just what I needed!
My son seems to of got off lightly he wasn't well from Wednesday last week with similar symptoms but his seems to of cleared up on its own with him sleeping for nearly 3 days....he only got up to eat light meals and go to the loo!
I know the ear infection and UTI won't of helped my mood but like I said I've been feeling this way since after Christmas 😕.
I don't know if it's the reaction from being around soo many people at Christmas even tho it was family for a longer period of time than I'm used to or what? I'm trying to distract myself with colouring and card making and even helping Jo make some bracelets but I still haven't got the energy to do anything.
My kitchen has become a complete mess again where the washing up has built up to a ridiculous amount, the clean washing (the only thing that I've kept on top of) is piled high on the armchair in the living room so we're all going to the chair to get our clean clothes and I just can't face even putting them in to piles for the kids to take up to their rooms to put away but it seems that unless I'm standing there watching them and telling them what to do they won't do anything to helpe around the house and I just don't have the energy or will to do it. I can't be dealing with the arguments that it will cause because I know it will bring everyone's stress levels up and I'd end up doing most of it anyway.
I still have the boxes of Christmas decorations in the living room and the tree is still up in the corner (decorations are in the boxes). I need to find somewhere to put it all now as I had to get quite a few bits this year as a lot of my old Christmas decorations didn't make it to storage and we were in the woman's refuge last Christmas.
I'm sorry for going on soo much but I'm just at a loss and not sure where to go or what to do atm 😢
On a good note my GP is finally looking at fibromialga or CFS/ME dx with all the pain I'm still experiencing....I think she thought if she kept putting me off that the pain might go away but it hasn't and when she done the pressure point test I now have one pressure point whereas I had none last time. She's ordered more blood tests but said if I have any inflammation in the blood work then I don't have them! And she also said that I'm doing everything that I can to help improve my pain levels (stretches, extra supplements and such) so do I really want the label of fibromialga - I told her yes because then in my head I know what is causing all the issues I'm having and I will have a better understanding so I can help myself more, do more research and find other treatments that could possibly help improve my quality of life.
My mental health nurse says I probably do have them both as in her experience of 15+ years as a primary care mental health nurse a lot of people who have suffered major trauma, stress and/or have had to repress their feelings for a long period of time are more likely to have fibromialga, CFS/ME and other symptoms of the month (hence my trigeminal neuralgia), esophagus, stomach and intestines.....I don't know if that will answer some questions others may have as to why.....at the moment she is also studying at university to get a degree in helping people with their mental health issues in the real world with real time exercises....I have had a couple of courses with CBT counsellors but their strategies weren't always helpful in real time!....and she's also considering writing a book about how stress, trauma and repressing feelings can affect the body and bring forth conditions such as fibro etc....
I'm soo sorry for going on soo much but I need to get it all out otherwise I'm just going to keep going round in circles and end up spiralling into a dark place that won't be good for me or anyone around me