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In need of help for coping with anxiety

Oct 20, 2016 5:27 AM

My 10 year old daughter, Jo, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 8 weeks ago. We've had our ups and downs with coping with the life changing diagnosis and she's just started seeing the Pediatric Diabetic Psychologist.
Yesterday she started complaining that her stomach hurt but she was still eating and it didn't seem to bother her. Today however she's saying it hurts even more and is refusing to eat. I've spoke to the GP and the diabetic nurses who have told me to take her to the children's ward at our hospital. This would all be fine apart from my anxiety is soo bad at the moment. We're sitting in the waiting room waiting to be seen and I'm bearley holding myself together....writing this has helped a little and knowing I have to be here and I have to try to keep it together as much as possible for Jo and to understand what is going on are the only things keeping me here and not going into a full blown panic attack. There's other families here as well which isn't helping as I don't do well in places and situations I don't know

Oct 20, 2016 6:27 AM

Hi Sezzy, really feel for you, it is the worse when our children are not well and so difficult to monitor a third person's health & know the right thing to do! Ask as many questions as possible & research too. Know you are a wonderful mother & you have a very special purpose. Breathe & focus on the small things & deeds that bring you pleasure. Big hugs & I hope Jo will feel better soon.

Oct 20, 2016 8:30 AM

Am late reading this. I hope everything is ok. When I was a nurse we had a woman in similar situation as you. She really struggled with anxiety attacks. Once she explained this to us we made sure when she came in that we would have an empty room for them to wait in. Not sure if that's an option for you but it wouldn't hurt to explain your situation to the receptionist - perhaps they would have some options to help.

Oct 20, 2016 12:11 PM

Sorry we've only just got home and had dinner. Once we were taken into the ward I lost signal.

They checked Jo over and couldn't find any physical reason for the stomach ache, the Pediatric Diabetic Consultant checked her over himself. Jo trusts him (so do I) as he's also a type 1 diabetic who was diagnosed in his childhood and she feels he can sympathise with her. He felt that it's anxiety that's causing her stomach ache. She's suffered with stomach cramps because of her anxiety for a few years especially when her dad and I split up in 2014. The separation and divorce wasn't amicable, her dad didn't want to separate but I couldn't deal with his drinking a 70cl bottle of whiskey everyday and subsequent anger from drinking it but my breaking point was when he went to hit my, then, 11 year old son like he was a full grown adult for defending his dad (my son was from a previous relationship).
When we first split I pushed my daughter to have regular contact with him because she had always been a daddy's girl but it got to the point where she was getting soooooo anxious about seeing him for reasons that will take a while to explain which I may write about if I figure out how to bring the desktop version of this app on my laptop. At the same time I went to get a non-molestation order against him for exessive messages and following us around and the doctors think it was the stress of that which triggered the trigeminal neuralgia. I had suffered from TMD for about 8 years prior to this and taken a small dose of amitriptyline to stop the migraines I got from the pain build up.
Sorry I've digressed again!!!
Back to Jo she said it was a different pain to the normal cramps she gets when she's anxious and was refusing to eat because she said it hurt more. After we'd seen the consultant Jo saw the Pediatric Diabetic Psychologist. They were in the room a long time which didn't do me any favours so I tried to find a quiet conner away from everyone else and played a couple of games on my phone to distract me. It seemed to help a little.
They've given Jo some breathing exercises and a couple of other "tools" to go into her new "tool box" folder of coping strategies.

They worked out that she is worried about her diabetes that she's eating too much and not having enough insulin for it and she's worried about me as I'm not doing too great at the moment and she's seeing me taking more pain meds than normal, when I'm in a bad flair up the doctor has said I can take naproxen on top of the amitriptyline and morphine mst, plus I'm using a lidocaine plaster on my cheek to numb it....can't hide it as that's where I need it!

Oct 20, 2016 12:38 PM

Sorry tearful hungry Jo wanted to eat but not wanting to because of her stomach, I've done her some tomato soup as that always seems to help her feel better! She's had half of it now so she's getting there!

The psychologist said that Jo is worried about me all the time because last year I was hospitalised twice for the neuralgia when the doctors were going thro all the normal neuralgia pain meds and found none of them worked. It was the second hospital that worked out that mst morphine and a higher dose of amitriptyline was able to keep the pain low enough to mostly function.
So even when I try to hide how bad I am she still knows, so does my son but he hides in his room with his ps4 and phone. The psychologist wants to get the whole diabetic team together to see how best they can help us as a family, they're also referring us to the Early Intervention team to see if there's anything they can do as well. Jo's school are also concerned and want to know if there's anything they can do.
I also start CBT counselling on Monday as well

Oct 20, 2016 1:22 PM

It sounds like you are on the right track. Our kids see so much more than we think they do. I hope the different things they are doing for your family will help all of you. ((hugs))

Oct 20, 2016 1:49 PM

Thank you Mimikay, it's taken time and having to leave our home to start again somewhere completely new for all of us to feel safe and start claiming back our lives again. Unfortunately what's brought on this flair up on....and I know it's irrational but can't seem to help the reaction....is my ex husband messaging my family members trying to find us (he doesn't know where we are and he can't contact us) and threatening to come to my family's homes to find us....which again I know is a very small possibility that he will because he doesn't drive (he drinks too much) and it's very unlikely that someone would bring him.
I've been told that because I'm constantly in flight or fight mode for soo long (goes back to at least 3 or 4 years before I kicked him out) that I need to relearn how to relax and not be running on adrenaline all the time!

Oct 20, 2016 6:32 PM

There's a simple trick I've used in the past to try and help when I've had panic attacks. Try and distract all five senses. Find something you can see, touch something and really try to understand how it feels, smell the air and notice and smells u pick up, listen to all the noises around you and try and figure them all out, and last but not least, taste your mouth. I know sounds weird but just see if u can taste anything. Good distraction to settle u down

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