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Independence Equals Treatment?!?

Mar 14, 2016 2:47 AM

Right now, I'm feeling kind of confused. 😕My closest friends are spoonies, all except one. Shy is not a (known) spoonie, but when she does say something about pain, her mom always shuts her down. Anyway, she's been one of my most helpful and kindest friends. She helps me, more with the things I have a hard time doing. She pushed my wheelchair on certain days, and was just sweet...as of it didn't matter that I was hurting or gone all the time.

I've been there for her, more emotionally. *this may be hard to hear, if you don't want to hear bad things about a mom, skip to the ^^^^^^ * Boyfriends, break ups, figuring out who she is, and now trying to find her independence from her mom. Honestly, I can't stand her mother. I can't stand her mom; the feeling goes both ways. Shy's mom hates me, since "I'm lesbian for my short hair, ugly for my face, and strange for my quietness." By her standards, I'm also trying to turn Shy into a addict. Her mom thinks that because she (mom) took drugs in high school, meds (freaked out about melatonin) should be avoided at all costs.

I have a huge problem with Shy’s mom! Shy acts like an ADHD boy, but her mom doesn't want her to take meds to treat it. Shy is really sweet, but really hyper. She can run for almost a mile before she even feels like slowing down; she loves it. She got held back twice, once in kindergarten (wtf) and once in middle school. She'll be 18 in less than a year, but her mom keeps telling her “you can't get a job. You're best bet is to get disability.” I haven't met a single person to get disability for ADHD. Also, Shy loves people. She gets bubbly and talkative around new people, while I just want to run away.

Right now, I'm trying to convince her that a job is worth it. That even if her mom keeps the money now, when she turns 18, she can still use it in her resume. She doesn't believe she has social skills, or can remember things. Her mom, has fucking convinced her that she is worthless, and shouldn't bother working.


Lower class sucks. I'm technically in poverty, but my family has always managed to find community connections. So when I met Shy, I knew I would be heeling her escape her family. Her straight-a-advanced-classes-annoyingly-average younger sister makes her feel dumb sometimes. Truly, she's brilliant. As an artist,🎨 as a student, 🎓as a leader🙏. She is getting past huge barriers: parents who don't understand her school work, teachers who think she's “not trying” (I had to f***ing explain to the teacher that she was trying, she just didn't understand, but a TEACHER gave up on her!😫 It was her job to help, but instead I tried to pick up the pieces in study hall. We'd be in the hall laughing, drawing, and trying to figure out math problems...her grades did come up, and we went into high school together👣🙇💙👊), a criminal parent, and pains that she only describes to me.

Why is she so understanding? How can I help her get out of this pit her mom is driving before she turns 18? This is really important, but I don't know what to do!

I'm not even sure what my question is...I know she has some sort of pain but also just stress...I'd have her come live with me but I have to convince her that she gets the choice...

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