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Initial diagnosis difficulties

Nov 04, 2016 3:22 AM

I have had my diagnosis for about a month and this month has been horrible. Depression hit me like a train and it was not pleasant.
The other day the fiance and I had a realization. I was in mourning. I have been healthy my whole life, even when life knocked me down I still had my health going for me and now I have been informed that I'm going to be sick for the rest of my life.
Just an interesting realization.

Nov 04, 2016 5:13 AM

LittleMilkFlower I'm so sorry you've got to deal with this and if there was anything I could do to help I would but alas I can only offer my experience, advice, a shoulder to cry on and to celebrate any happy times you will go thro.

It is only natural that you will greive as you said you've always been healthy and now you have a dx that you have a life long condition it's going to be hard.
The only advice I can offer you today is....let yourself greive if you hold it in and hide it it will only come back later and could make you worse.
You are allowed to mourn it is natural, work thro your emotions, there will be happy times and not so happy times and the community here is such a good support that I don't know how I got thro some days before I found it.
Life itself is a roller coaster with ups and downs and we all go thro it, we just hold on tight thro the downs and celebrate the ups.

I would suggest speaking to your doctor about how you're feeling and maybe even have counselling to help you process the diagnosis and the grief you're feeling.


Nov 04, 2016 10:09 AM

I have been living with mine for better than half my life. My pain stated when I was 20 and on top of the world. Healthy and strong, now I realise my body may hurt but my mind has to make the decisions to allow it to change my life for me .. or to run those I love away.. still no firm diagnoses.

Nov 04, 2016 10:13 AM

LittleMilkFlower, it's exactly what you need to do. It wasn't until the pain psychologist explained to me that I needed to mourn the life I was leading and no longer had to be able to move forward it was like getting hit in the head with a brick!!! It doesn't happen overnight and sometimes you will even fall into that pit again.. just know you have an entire family of warriors here to stand by your side and walk you through. {{{Hugs}}}💕😊

Nov 04, 2016 1:14 PM

I too just have been diagnosed. I have fibromyalgia among many other things. I have been grieving over the loss of the life I was gonna live and all the things I can't do anymore. It's feels like someone I love ❤️ has died. I'm glad 😁 you are aware of your grief And you can now do the work you need to in order to start healing. I wish I could be more help but for now I'm going through it too. ((Lots of hugz))

Nov 04, 2016 6:10 PM

I completely understand... I lost everything I ever worked for along with friends and family. As much as I cry and hate this life I've been dealt, I try to realize I have my daughter and her father and no matter what someone always has it worse. It doesn't always comfort me but, hey...

Nov 05, 2016 2:20 AM

I keep asking my old man if he's sure he wants to be with me because I'm broken. He reassures me that he does, but I still feel like nobody is going to want to take care of me. My hands don't like to work, so I can't open anything. My hip feels like someone has a sharp stick jammed in the joint (on bad days, good days it feels like someone's touching a bruise and won't stop), and when I walk, even little old ladies are faster than I am. I feel useless a lot of the time. But, then I realize I'm just down about what I can't do. Then I focus on what I can do. It helps some, but still. I hope you get feeling better!!

Nov 05, 2016 2:48 AM

You sound like me AAli984. I'm glad you've got some truly unconditional love, it's hard to find. I'm lucky enough to have it too, no matter how hard I try and push him away. :)

Nov 05, 2016 3:10 AM

The biggest thing for me is seeing the house. It is always a disaster but I can't do anything. I sit and state at it and all I want to do is make our home clean but all I can do is lay down. We're working on bringing with this and working together so our lives can be easier.

Nov 05, 2016 5:20 AM

LittleMilk flower, that's the problem for me too... I am Bipolar, have anxiety and, OCD so not being able to have the house "perfect" is a CONSTANT source of stress, saddness, anger and, a huge trigger. I clean up then my daughter and her father will not pick up after themselves, it makes me so angry I actually spazzed out the other night and left the house. I just get so mad my body can't do what my mind wants, I COMPLETELY understand.

Nov 06, 2016 6:26 PM

Before my diagnosis I had dreams of being the perfect housewife. So perfect that the title of being a Stepford Wife would be the best title for me. I love taking care of my family. Its what I was put on this earth to do.
Now the house is a disaster, we don't eat healthily, I can't cook, and I can't even host. My dreams and promises of taking care of him and our home have plummeted and now he has to take care of me and the home. It kills me.

Nov 06, 2016 6:29 PM

LittleMilkFlower, you'll take care of each other. It'll all be ok somehow. Don't let this pull you down.. {{Hugs}}💕😊

Nov 06, 2016 6:31 PM

I'm definitely working on being okay. The other day I did a load of dishes and 2 load of laundry (wasn't able to fold them) and Mike acted like I had cleaned the whole house and made a 3 course meal! I've learned from him that I need to celebrate the small things otherwise I'll hate myself for never reaching the big things.

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