So this is going to sound bad and if you feel this makes me a bad person please don't tell me that because I am aware of it and don't need you to tell me, just go to the next post please. Thanks.
My boyfriends sister is adopted which is not important at all but she was adopted at 3 and we think maybe she saw and went through some crazy shit before his parents got her. She was a drug addict and a major alcoholic since a teenager. Over the last few years this has caught up to her and severely damaged her liver. I think after her surgery and the splint was put in she recovered to almost 30% liver function. Her and I were taking at Christmas and she was saying she felt like she deserved her health problems because of the choices she made and she was afraid to die. She said she was done drinking and that she wanted to see her son grow up (he will be 12 next week). Well yesterday she was admitted into the hospital in liver and kidney failure because she was drinking again. She has had some improvement on her kidney but none on her liver at all. Doctors say her chance of survival is very very small.
I know I should be upset that she is dying. I know I should be sad. But honestly I'm only sad for her son. My attitude about this is along the lines of she knew what the consequences would be if she drank again. I understand that addictions are hard to break. But for some reason I'm lacking all compassion on this one.
My boyfriend went to visit her on his lunch break and says he will probably go again after work. He has an acupuncture appointment at 5pm that I don't think he should miss because it helps him so much. And i told him that he should go to acupuncture, that he didn't need to be with his sister all night. Probably shouldn't have said that because now he's mad at me. And probably rightfully so.
I don't plan on visiting her, which is probably very awful of me. I don't need to have the image of her dying burned into my mind to haunt me in my dreams. I didn't go see my childhood pets or my grandpa when they were dying.
Just had to get that one of my chest
If you got this far thanks for reading.