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Killing myself and I don't know why...

Aug 27, 2015 9:28 AM

Work is just as stressful as any other day. Running my own business and with a known chronic back pain and disc bulge, after one major surgery and a few cortisone injections in my records, I've really driven myself down this time.

I couldn't bare the slowness or the competency of my part time employee. My full time quit recently without giving me advance notice. So I haven't a choice. With 4 containers and more to discharge, the nature of my business..wholesale alcohol and food..I need to discharge soonest possible.

Today near mid day of business, all the work was no where near done. I jumped on the forklift and asked my part timer to go home as work wasn't done and he understood. Instead now, I'm in extreme and unbearable pain that words can barely describe what I'm feeling right now. For those that done know, it's like driving a go-cart (literally no suspension) on near bumpy gravel. Imagine yourself with a sore back riding on one of these for a few hours straight,

I've taken all my meds including ibruphen without food because I am really desperate. Right now I don't really feel Im able to keep my fluids in. So drinking a can of coke while typing this. Have not eaten well throughout the day and my last meal was 8-9 hrs ago. Since then, are nothing but drank fluid. While typing this, I've almost puked twice in a span of 20 minutes. I just got home less than an hour now.

Going to ER won't do me any good unless I get a high fever. They've never treated me seriously and I'm much too exhausted in pain to go....please have mercy God...I've been asking you for this past week, I really need to get by today please....please.......

Aug 27, 2015 9:34 AM

Have been there a few times myself prayer said 🙏🙏🙏👼

Aug 27, 2015 9:42 AM

Thanks Eddie!! Glad you were better since your incident! Very memorable. Hope you are feeling better now bro.

Aug 27, 2015 5:06 PM

Praying you have some relief. It sounds like your in a tough spot with work. Try Epsom salt soak to relax those back muscles.

Aug 27, 2015 6:58 PM

Hope things have improved- I post this because I saw mention of drinking a can of Coke, and thought I'd share one of my findings, I also suffer terrible trapped nerve pain in my back but it all improved from cutting out sugar and wheat and any processed stodgy foods because they set off the inflammatory response in the body. More inflammation =more pain. Cake = pain I have found! Sadly. I'm pretty strict with what I eat now and pain is more manageable but the other day I ate half a bar of choc and immediately noticed the effect it had on the painful bits.
I've since been looking into nutrition and the inflammatory response and it is all very connected. Most doctors won't advise on nutrition but there are lots of alternative therapists who know a thing or two.

Aug 28, 2015 1:28 AM

Hmmmmmmm........I can't resist them honestly......

Aug 28, 2015 1:31 AM

Sooooo fatigued today.....went to doctors cause my as needed meds are finishing, but.....making me see her again next week! ....today was the second time this week...sigh...never ending cycle!

Aug 28, 2015 3:01 PM

Prayer's to you octobot!

Aug 29, 2015 11:27 AM

If you like chocolate and you can make yourself eat the dark chocolate that has its calories mostly made of fat and not sugar, it has the opposite effect. It works as an anti-inflammatory. I think I read that on drugs.com or other reputable website. I would not pass along the information unless it was from a good website. I just checked. I saw this from Harvard University, that dark chocolate has this effect.

I am sorry that you are not able to have the help you desperately need. This is something you can really do without in your life right now and it sounds like always. I hope you can find an employee who can do the work effeciently soon and wants to work. It is hard to come by those these days. People just don't want to work. Sometimes, I wonder if most of us were harder workers then others and let our bodies take a beating. I know I did mine. Many people told me that. I just wonder how much that may have on my health today. Probably not much. A lot of the older, older generations worked very hard and they did fine. But I also think the enviorment has been beating up our bodies too. So many variables to consider. I hope you can cope with this and get the help you need as soon as possible. I wish I was able to work again. I would love to work and help you out. Some people think it is great to draw a check and not go to work anymore. I would trade them places any day. I miss working. I miss feeling well more. I am sure you do to. Best wishes to you

Aug 29, 2015 1:37 PM

I agree with profiler, I have also read somewhere that the dark Chocolate acts like an anti inflammatory. That is the only chocolate I eat but in moderation. When I was assistant general manager of a hotel you wouldn't believe the way people dressed for their interview or even presented themselves in the interview! It's amazing they had even made it out of bed that morning! Pray you can find a truly hard working employee who will do right by you and your business, they are so hard to find these day's. I'm probably not in the generation of hard workers profiler was talking about, but it's better to work for what you have and feel that sense of pride that you did that and no one had to do it for you! We should all teach our kids that and that's what I instill in my kids. That's what my parents taught me when I was younger, I pray kids pass that same line of teaching onto their kids.

Aug 31, 2015 2:00 PM

Octobot, I'm sorry last week was so rough on you. I hope today is a beginning to a better week for you! Is there a way to hire from a temp agency, with the idea of (if) they work well you could hire them permanently? We did that a lot when I ran a medical records department. We used temps throughout the year and if a position came open we'd hire whoever proved they were able to do the job & wanted to be committed to a permanent post. (((Hugs))) & a prayer said for you! 🙏🌼

Aug 31, 2015 2:40 PM

Flappyslady, I had totally forgotten about hiring out of a temp agency. That maybe the best idea yet for octobot! Your a genius! Lol!

Aug 31, 2015 7:56 PM

Moparmom, I don't know so much about genius. Maybe the fog had cleared more than normal! 😉 Lol I'm glad I remembered it though (12 years ago), and hope octobot can go that route. 🙏🌼

Sep 01, 2015 8:30 AM

Octobot, I'm so sorry your week has been so rough!! I hope that this is the beginning of s much better week for you. You're in my prayers, hang in there. {{{hugs}}}🙏🏻

Sep 01, 2015 4:43 PM

Hey guys. Thanks soo much for your prayers and concern. There's no agency here, small island here lol. I can't afford to outsource as well as I need to cover food and accomodation which is very expensive living here.

Although stressed and still in pain, I have talked to my doctor about what I have been going through and she has been nothing but an angel. I guess she probably have seen me at work constantly. I don't drink alcohol so she is trusting me more now and understands what I go through. She approved of my suggestion in taking more muscle relaxants which really helps with my constant spasms.

I know I can't get rid of the workload on my plate, but this week has been very good in terms of pain tolerance. I was able to do so much more work and not feeling loopy after my meds. So being in control of my pain at this moment has made me very happy hence a lot more productive.

My so called ex employee may consider working again, not as full time but a part timer. Nonetheless very good news and I could basically take time off to see my specialist at the end of this month without having to worry too much about work.

Since everything is working so well for me now, I hardly feel the pain with the right combination of my meds. This is where I want to be after surgery without meds of course. But now I'm worried that any surgery might ruin this good run for me. Drugs or surgery.....been boggling my mind about it at this stage.

Sep 01, 2015 5:17 PM

Glad thing's are starting to turn around for you and that your doctor is becoming more trusting. Pray they work out. Hugs and prayer's! 🙏

Sep 02, 2015 11:33 AM

I'm so glad to hear this! I've been so worried about you. I get muscle spasms from nothing, so I totally understand. Hoping and praying you'll stay in a good place pain wise, and that your PTer will come! 🙏🌼

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