Laying in bed trying to discration myself from all my discomfort. And keep g my mind occupied so it won't sell on all the BS I've through. I'm so tired of life being so hard. Yeah. I know grow up little girl..i know..it's just hard right now. I've finally given in and accepted this is my life. For so e reason I hoped that would make things easier. Like I would have been given s good star for a job completed. Because as u all know it is a job to accept yourll never be the old u again.
Living with the fact that your body is permitted damages and will take year to repair to even just barely status is emotionally draining and painful. Thinking of all the choices I wish I had made
Adjusting to how your family responds to you and anyone who meets you. It's a lot to take in. Have massive tumors in case your body and having them on display everyday all day and night. A d having the medical community treat you as a lepper or some mystical medical mystery and send u on your way afyer documenting you for further study is the most empty feeling ever
Only second to the feeling of hearing those medical professionals say to you . " You'll never have children because the tumors have shredded tour uterus. However we will clarify you being a tumoral pregnancy." Basically I'm pregnant with tumor's that are to large to try and remove or try to birth.
So what do they do? They take a woman who's body looks and is responding as a pregnant person and turn off her entire system. Evey estrogen signals is turned off diverted and tricked. So now this body is stuck with what to do now. " Oh I thought I was Makeing a life?" So now I'll just stop. And have have your body turn on yiu.
All this while haveing to deal with chronic pain syndrome and fibromayalgia. Being a. Full productive himan being and having thst stopped suddenly and turned to a bed ridden pain in the butt to everyone around you.
What do u so with a life like this ? How do u so anything at all?😞