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Lie and suffer silently or tell the truth and have people hate you?

Oct 12, 2016 9:33 AM

Neither option is good but which is better? This is coming out of a situation this morning in which I guess I should have lied to keep everyone else happy.
I was the first one in at work today, very rare as I'm usually late. A few guys came in and started coffee and said hi, none got close to me, their desks are not near mine. The other girl came in and her desk is right beside mine. When she got close my nose, throat and lungs started burning so something irritated my respiratory system. I finished checking my email and quietly went to the computer room and waited in front of the equipment for the time to start the scheduled maintenance. One of the guys came in and started some work on a different system, hellos exchanged.
Then the other girl comes in and asked how I'm feeling today so I said not good, truth. She asked why so i said oh peoples personal products are bothering me, i was trying to shrug it off. She pressed for details, who was it, what did it smell like, was it her. So i told her that i didn't know the cause but when she came in my lungs started burning. She got all offended and jumped on the other guy asking if she stunk to him (i never said she stunk) and that she hadn't put anything on today. So i tried to explain that things people don't think about like laundry detergent, soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, lotion and so on cause problems... digging myself a deeper hole since she thought that my general information was directed only at her and that i was demanding she change her whole life. So then i tried to explain that i didn't know if it was something she was using our if she'd walked past someone and brought something into the room when she came in. And she started telling me that i can't control peoples lives and that they shouldn't have to change because I'm super sensitive. So i told her that i know that, and that's why i have that appointment with occupational medicine today. I have to see if they said i need to quit my job, so she brought up the fact that everywhere is going to be the same because people won't stop their lives for me. I was a little pissed by this point so i said a little loudly that i am aware of that and i am aware that i might end up homeless and that i can't even go to the damn grocery store without getting sick. She got really quiet and said she was going to request not to be on the same shift as me ever and did some work on another system and left and told me not to come back to the office because she was going to spend the day at her desk.
I should have just lied.
There is no work from home option for my job. I need the money and with my sensitivities won't be able to get a job elsewhere. Hopefully they can come up with some solutions at this appointment this afternoon.

Oct 12, 2016 11:23 AM

What an ignorant person!
People don't understand that people all over the world are sensitive to smells and chemicals.
It doesn't mean they're bad people, just that they are uneducated about allergies.
I wish more people would understand that.

Oct 12, 2016 11:25 AM

I'm so sorry you had that happen to you today footbed.
I understand. I have scent induced migraines and I can't believe how many people seem to bathe in scents.
I will pray ( with your permission) that things will work out for you.
Soft hugs.

Oct 12, 2016 11:30 AM

That's Supp to say gotobef, not footbed. Autocorrect.

Oct 12, 2016 12:09 PM

Aww thanks Sassy30plus. I'm sorry you have scent induced migraines. It really sucks when your health is completely in the hands of other people.
I took my coffee break in the locker room today, very few go in there. I scared the crap out of one of the guys when he went to get his snack, he wasn't expecting anyone to be in there. He was nice and asked if i was ok and sat and chatted with me. He went chemical free years ago because of skin irritation. It was nice to chat with someone who doesn't think I'm nuts.

Oct 12, 2016 12:16 PM

Thanks gotobef! Feel free to call me Sas.
I'm glad you had a nice chat.
I hope your medical appt goes well.
My roomie n I will keep our fingers crossed for you.
Remind me to tell you about our kitty's reaction to flea meds sometime.
You'll see. Even our babies react to crap!
Oi!

Oct 12, 2016 12:33 PM

I lie unless it's a close friend. Then they usually just look at my eyes and know.

Oct 12, 2016 12:34 PM

Goto. Its nice you found someone who understood. Hope your appt. goes well today.

Oct 12, 2016 12:44 PM

Wow,thia is awful. I hate you have to continue to seal with this. The well people have no idea what we deal with and I wish this woman could have taken a calmer route with this conversation.

Oct 12, 2016 1:43 PM

Scents wreak havoc on the women in my family. I personally can only use mild scented soaps, Cant use certain cleaning products or air fresheners(including wax melter and incense). Perfumes and colognes make me migraine and nauseated.

It's happening more and more bcuz our bodies are overloading with chemicals from the products we use to the food we eat.

Oct 12, 2016 3:19 PM

Paint and paint thinners give me headaches also. Thought it was just me was having these issues.

Oct 15, 2016 8:17 PM

Unfortunately there are those kinds of people who are so very very ignorant and self consuming. I know its not nice to say but I hope that one day something similar happens to your work colleague. Then she might think differently πŸŒΌπŸ’œ gentle product free hugs

Oct 15, 2016 11:03 PM

Sensory Overload.. I try to explain that to people and they look at me like I am crazy. Its real though. I know as I feel it often. We grin and bear it - over and over again until we reach a point where it feels we are hurting our heads against a brick wall. I have a few friends who.I can simply text "Brick Wall!" and they know to get me out of wherever I am because I am going to crash and burn. Its noise, it's smells, it's lights (especially flourescent).

I understand. (((hugs)))

Oct 16, 2016 10:22 PM

I'm sensitive to certain smells myself as was my mother and grandmother. I'm sorry that you had to deal with such ignorance. If she didn't want to know the truth, she shouldn't have pressed the issue.

Oct 17, 2016 10:19 PM

I call it overstimulation and it is a real source of suffering for me. If I mention it to anyone but you very kind peeps they snort with disbelief or derision. I try to limit certain people & outings, noises, flashing lights, crowds, fragrances etc to keep from going off the rails into an insomniac pain overload. This does not make me popular with my extrovert very social man. I just try to take care of me the way I have so carefully taken care of my loved ones through the years.🀘

Oct 17, 2016 11:40 PM

That sucks. I have sensitivity to all kinds of smells, lights, etc. Gives me migraines at the least and grand mal siezures at the worst. It can be a serious issue for people, she has no right to judge you, and honestly she seem narssistic becuase she kept thinking it was all about her...I hope nothing happens at your job, a FYI I'm going to start school at the begining of the year to become a medical transcriptionist, they require very little office work and you can work from home on your own time. I'm going to go to mildred elly, they have physical and online classes and ya know how schools will get you your first job or 2 and then youre on your own? Well this school says they will help you with job placement for the rest of your life, theres other great perks to this school and the job you get. Just a sugesstion incase something happens with your job.

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