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Like an annoyance

Mar 22, 2016 6:19 AM

Do you ever feel like you're annoying whoever you're talking to, especially when it comes to talking about pain?

I feel like this all the time, even though people say I don't annoy them lol.

Mar 22, 2016 7:47 AM

Yes, Yes, and double Yes... Seems people ask how you are doing and when you start to tell them honestly the look and body language is.... I was just being polite I really do not want to hear it. Sometimes I say you really do not want to know. Or. Don't ask. Or. No change. Or I don't want to bore you. They do not pursue a honest response I know to keep it moving. 😷

Mar 22, 2016 9:07 AM

Yes! It's so hard when our pain is at time dominating our lives. I try to stop talking when they get the glazed over look.

Mar 22, 2016 9:46 AM

Yes. Or the ringing of hands or beads of sweat on the forehead.. Ha.. But yes. I have a friend who has been with me since before this. And at times I think I know she is tired of hearing about my pain and my feelings and my issues with mom. She always as a bit of advice or a kind word. I've asked her about this and she has always said it's OK. That she does not alway understand what I'm feeling nor hownir feels to live my life but she is alway there to listen. It's good to know I have at least one person who has not left me and is willing to try and see into my life.

Mar 22, 2016 11:07 AM

Yes, yes, yes... I find with me, when folks say to me, "how are you" they just want a one or two word answer. They don't want to hear what they already know. (This doesn't apply to my BFF or y'all because neither she nor any of you had EVER done that to me. {{{Hugs}}} for all!! 💕🙏🏻🌻😊

Mar 22, 2016 6:38 PM

I definitely feel annoying. I had to get over being embarrassed when telling my physical therapist how I am feeling. I feel guilty a lot...like others think that I am an attention-seeking hypochondriac. Luckily, I have a very understanding and supportive husband.

Mar 22, 2016 11:02 PM

Yes, yes & yes. I no longer talk about myself when I am with friends. I cannot articulate how great my nerve pain is. It is beyond even my explanation. I am sucked into another dimension & can't communicate my peripheral horror. No one who has not felt this kind of pain can ever understand.That is why I come here to you. Thank you.

Mar 22, 2016 11:07 PM

Oh, Flown, I know what you mean. I usually answer with, 'Good. And you?' But my physiotherapist needs to really know. I feel embarrassed and guilty when I tell her. And, unfortunately, when embarrassed, I cry. Then, more embarrassed, I can't tell her why I'm holding back tears. I laughing right now thinking about it.

Mar 22, 2016 11:29 PM

So I wonder if we should come up with a "pat" answer. My grandmother would always give the same answer no matter how she felt. She would say "fairly well". I think I will try that and she how that works for me.

Mar 23, 2016 5:47 PM

Totally!

For acquaintances I try to be honest but brief, and grateful for anything else good in my life, as I don't want my pain to keep me from acknowledging or enjoying the parallel blessings as much as I'm able. Sometimes there are less of those times, but even one small thing I'm grateful for gives me something to say, like "I'm hanging in there," or "I'm trying this new magnet thing--ever heard of those?" Or, "Yoga has been helpful--do you ever do yoga?" Then it gives them a chance to contribute to the conversation and I can feel somewhat normal. I do talk to my acupuncturist and doctors in more detail about my pain.

And though I can feel the same way, I'm reminding all of us: Don't be ashamed--this pain is not our fault! Thanks for sharing--it helps me know I'm not crazy or alone!

Mar 23, 2016 10:11 PM

Usually, when they ask, I just say
"I have good days & I have bad days" then they zoom right over having to know anything more. Lol

Mar 24, 2016 12:11 AM

I had a little foot pain my friends asked how I was and I only told them when they ask but then we stopped talking and my new friend understand so they mean it when they ask how I'm feeling

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