So I saw the primary care mental health nurse this morning and I'm feeling drained but a little lighter. Our conversation was all over the place and she wrote notes and asked questions to try and get as much info from me as possible. My head is so all over the place that I forgot to say bits when she asked and when I remembered we were half way thro something else but I said it anyway!
It seems that when my kids see me crying or talking (normally saying things like no or leave me alone with tossing and turning or thrashing my arms about) in my sleep they are actually night terrors and another sign of PTSD....I never realised what they were and I just put them down as possibly nightmares or something, I didn't really look too much into them and wasn't sure I was as bad as my daughter said they were! She said this morning that when she went to the toilet in the night and came back to bed I was awake and spoke to her....I don't remember that at all! I don't feel like I've had much sleep at all tbh.
I never remember them but sometimes I do get residual feelings afterwards if I wake up not long after having them. My daughter finds this frightening at times and she's more freaked out by me crying in my sleep especially when I have tears!!!
She's not going to dx PTSD today, it's very likely but she wants to see me a few times before giving it.
We went thro a flow chart which is very similar to the worry tree but I feel it's easier....probably because she was very down to earth, she had no airs or graces and explained things layman's terms, in other words I felt comfortable with her.
We went thro the flow chart and it is a simple formula and it seems to be something I can do. Each time we meet she will give me more "REAL TIME" coping strategies but for today this one is enough.
Atm we will see each other roughly every 4 weeks, one reason being that it gives me a chance to really see if the flow chart will help the reason is she has over 60 clients on her books and she dedicates an hour for each appointment plus she's also doing a degree about real time strategies and implementing them into clients lives.....she's all for real time strategies which is what I need atm!!!!
She said there is a mindfulness book that she uses and possibly in the future might be useful for me but to only take one step at a time and to try not to overwhelm myself which will set me back to square one!
She did say about talking therapies and CBT but when I said my experience with them and that I get more from talking on here or with friends and family, she literally chucked the leaflet across the desk saying that it probably doesn't work for me in that case and moved on, I did have to laugh at that but she said one thing that works for one doesn't alwayd work for another!!!
She also said to start a book or a folder with the info she'll give me that if I wanted I could rewrite it or type it up to make it mine (probably spending time doing that also reaffirms it in the mind) and it could possibly work as a "what to do in a relapse" kind of book for my eyes only if I don't want to show others!
I have to say I'm feeling cautiously positive about this....I've got nothing to lose in trying and if this approach doesn't work she has more up her sleave!!!!
Sorry for going on but I need to get things out to be process it all and if possible make sense of it!
Sending out positive vibes and an easy pain day to you all xx