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Looking more likely for PTSD dx

Dec 01, 2016 7:11 AM

So I saw the primary care mental health nurse this morning and I'm feeling drained but a little lighter. Our conversation was all over the place and she wrote notes and asked questions to try and get as much info from me as possible. My head is so all over the place that I forgot to say bits when she asked and when I remembered we were half way thro something else but I said it anyway!
It seems that when my kids see me crying or talking (normally saying things like no or leave me alone with tossing and turning or thrashing my arms about) in my sleep they are actually night terrors and another sign of PTSD....I never realised what they were and I just put them down as possibly nightmares or something, I didn't really look too much into them and wasn't sure I was as bad as my daughter said they were! She said this morning that when she went to the toilet in the night and came back to bed I was awake and spoke to her....I don't remember that at all! I don't feel like I've had much sleep at all tbh.
I never remember them but sometimes I do get residual feelings afterwards if I wake up not long after having them. My daughter finds this frightening at times and she's more freaked out by me crying in my sleep especially when I have tears!!!
She's not going to dx PTSD today, it's very likely but she wants to see me a few times before giving it.
We went thro a flow chart which is very similar to the worry tree but I feel it's easier....probably because she was very down to earth, she had no airs or graces and explained things layman's terms, in other words I felt comfortable with her.
We went thro the flow chart and it is a simple formula and it seems to be something I can do. Each time we meet she will give me more "REAL TIME" coping strategies but for today this one is enough.
Atm we will see each other roughly every 4 weeks, one reason being that it gives me a chance to really see if the flow chart will help the reason is she has over 60 clients on her books and she dedicates an hour for each appointment plus she's also doing a degree about real time strategies and implementing them into clients lives.....she's all for real time strategies which is what I need atm!!!!

She said there is a mindfulness book that she uses and possibly in the future might be useful for me but to only take one step at a time and to try not to overwhelm myself which will set me back to square one!
She did say about talking therapies and CBT but when I said my experience with them and that I get more from talking on here or with friends and family, she literally chucked the leaflet across the desk saying that it probably doesn't work for me in that case and moved on, I did have to laugh at that but she said one thing that works for one doesn't alwayd work for another!!!

She also said to start a book or a folder with the info she'll give me that if I wanted I could rewrite it or type it up to make it mine (probably spending time doing that also reaffirms it in the mind) and it could possibly work as a "what to do in a relapse" kind of book for my eyes only if I don't want to show others!

I have to say I'm feeling cautiously positive about this....I've got nothing to lose in trying and if this approach doesn't work she has more up her sleave!!!!

Sorry for going on but I need to get things out to be process it all and if possible make sense of it!

Sending out positive vibes and an easy pain day to you all xx

Dec 01, 2016 7:24 AM

Glad you like her and she is helping you. Proud of you talking to her.

Dec 01, 2016 7:36 AM

Thank you AL2, I am open about a lot of stuff and don't mind talking about it but there is a couple of things that still get me.
I have found thro the years that if I'm comfortable with people then I'll listen to what they say....good or bad....better than if I'm not comfortable with them. Pretty much like everyone else!
Now off to see maxifacal to see what they can do for my clicking jaw and trigeminal neuralgia that everyone else hasn't already suggested and tried!!!!

Dec 01, 2016 8:38 AM

Yes!!!! Sounds like you got some tools for your tool belt with someone who sees you as individual! fingers crossed!
I'm pleased with my new therapist and looking forward to unload tomorrow like nobody's business!!!
It makes a difference when someone listens and hears you.
Cripes about the night terrors. At least you know why you have fatigue and slept issues aside from the pain ... I had my first full on panic attack waking from a dream ... Thanks Sezzy figure d it out in my head trying to explain it to you ... Yes it was PTSD not anxiety only.
Thanks and I'm happy for you!

Dec 01, 2016 3:09 PM

Foggurl I've been thro a few counsellors and most of them I've felt no connection with, where I've felt judged by them....they probably didn't judge me but with their mannerisms and body language it just felt like they did!
It did feel good to speak to her so that's half the battle. It felt more like she listened to me and she made me laugh even thro tears but then I was feeling very emotional from the time I woke up!!!
The picture came out blurry for the flowchart but it hit a cord with me, probably the way she explained it helped with that!

I'm glad you like your therapist....that's half the battle, if you like the person you're off loading too it makes talking soo much easier.
I hope seeing your therapist really helps you and relieves some of your stresses and you have an easy pain day as well xx

Dec 01, 2016 3:53 PM

I'm super happy for you because I know the feeling of seeing people who don't see you as a person or don't really work well with u and then finding that one person who is great. I just found a good therapist and I also have PTSD. All my other therapists I've tried have litterally made my ptsd worse when I leave. So I'm super happy for you that you are cautiously optimistic. That's how I was with my new therapist excited but cautious. And it's been 2 months and I'm positive now she's the best therapist for me. So I hope it does turn out to be as good as your hoping.

Dec 01, 2016 4:05 PM

Thank you Paperheartz, the last counsellor I saw literally made me feel worse with each session until I hit the top of all the scores on their questionnaire apart from the suicidal and self harm questions, I've never had had those thoughts apart from a couple of the antidepressants I've tried and as soon as the thoughts came I stopped taking them and the thoughts went.
Everyone in recent times I've spoken to from the medical profession have told me I'm very insightful with the conditions I have and the limitations I have and quite a few of them including the cbt counsellor, then go on to insinuate why if I know in my head that it's irrational, why can't I stop the feelings and I've even said that to them, asked them outright why can't I stop the feelings from taking over? My GP and the mental health nurse have been the only ones to tell me that that puts me under more pressure and makes me even more self critical!!!!

Dec 01, 2016 4:09 PM

Nothing like going to therapy and coming out depressed ..
Our mental health center is called the Ottawa Royal or royal for short.
I was going make a T-shirt that said " I wasn't depressed until I went to the Royal" lol

Dec 01, 2016 4:14 PM

Paperheartz I can only hope that the mental health nurse is going to be as good as the therapist you're seeing because this merry go round is starting to make me dizzy!!!!
I never did like the spinning rides....I've never had the balance or the stomach for being on them too long!!!
I think I'd prefer a nice easy slow ride on the ferris wheel where at the top you can see for miles around.....

Dec 01, 2016 4:18 PM

Sezzy they said I'm suffering from PTSD as well.. And I never thought of it but yea I do.. And also keep journals of my feelings I have a posativity journal, and a journal both help a lot.. My phsycologist and therapist said they never saw any one so organized with so much information and that there amazed at my ability to flow thru my health issues mind issues... It's only cuz I'm writing shit down rereading to compare see what's what... I know my body what right or not so I find that easy lol.. I'm so sorry ur going thru all that gotta be so hard for ur kids understanding all this sorry sending u hugz pondy <3

Dec 01, 2016 4:41 PM

Your welcome. And I really do hope who ur seeing is as good as the one I'm seeing. I totally understand everything ur saying. I wrote a essay diagnosing myself with bipolar and bpd and the first therapist I saw was too focused on my iq and what not and how insightful I was also. She didn't do anything to help me made me worse and insisted I read more books write more essays and when I wouldn't she said I was lazy and didn't want to help myself because I was smart enough to help myself. Another also thought I could just stop if I tried hard enough even though I said I can't even when I know so much about ny disorders. Others have right I was out right faking it. So I really hope you don't have to be going in circles anymore. Sending spoons and good thoughts!

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