So after being poisoned by the local airport 'being more environmentally friendly' and allowing the deicing fluid to decompose naturally in the fields in April my sensitivities have increased substantially. Every week the airport cleans something to do with the deicing crap in the evenings, so the chemicals become airborne regularly and if the wind is going the right way at the right speed it gets into the building at work.
I've been reacting to a lot of things like laundry products, personal care products, smoke, vehicle exhaust, air fresheners, cleaning products, paint and so on. So really I react to people and places.
Well I was hoping that I would get better, I don't expect a full recovery but I was hoping that I could tolerate people and places. Nope.
Haven't washed my car since getting poisoned in April and it was really bad and since I'm now parking in the driveway so my little trailer can be safe it looked awful so I had to wash it. Turns out the soap at the car wash is lemon scented. I don't know why I expected any differently. I mean it's only the OUTSIDE of the car. Why shouldn't that be scented too!? So dizzy and unfocused from that I somehow drive home in my cleaner looking car. And im now parking outside, not safe at all!
The neighbours are doing laundry again. It seems like they've been doing laundry for the last 2.5 weeks straight and it all hours of the day. Saturday before last we had the window open (which we usually do at night to cool down the bedroom) and I had worked evening shift so I was trying to sleep in when I was woken up by not being able to breathe and dry heaving from the laundry products coming in the window. Their drier vent is on the same side of the house as my bedroom window. Anyways I have no idea what they are using or if it is something that someone who is staying there has decided needs to get used (it never used to be this bad) but I can't tolerate it. I got out of my car today and got hit by this laundry smell.
So much for washing the cooler for the trailer today. So much for pulling the dead stuff out of the garden. So much for harvesting the peas that are ready.
I can't go outside. I can't open the windows. I can't go out. I can't do things that need to get done. All because my body has decided that it needs to react to everything.
Increased food intolerances. Increased fibro pain. Increased digestive issues. Increased stress.
Don't know how to approach the neighbours about it, I've never met them.
Boyfriend seems to think I'll get better and stop reacting to everything and brushes me off when I get upset about reacting to something.
He's also the one who gets mad when I say I don't want his chain smoker dad or scented lotion obsessed mom in our house because I want it to be safe for me.
I've lost all hope of recovering at all.
The cleaners are coming tomorrow, it's on my file that im chemically sensitive and that they have to use certain cleaners, we'll see if anyone reads it before spraying chemicals everywhere. They can never seem to find the key so I'm guessing no one reads the files.
I'm supposed to be going to a wedding on the weekend. I'm actually terrified of going. People wear perfume on these special occasions that usually don't touch the stuff. Smokers, food, hillbillies and their modified trucks. It's going to be an interesting wedding. Wouldn't it be fun if I puked on someone, or passed out? I haven't had a chemically induced seizure yet but I was told that if I don't move to cleaner air and stop working that it'll happen eventually (apparently it's progressive and causes brain damage and once you get bad enough to have chemical seizures its game over and you'll never be in society again, at least that what the chemical sensitivities group on Facebook keeps telling me)
I am just so lost.
My appointment with the allergist is set for the end of January. But they test reactions to proteins not chemicals and there is nothing that can stop a chemical reaction. Doctors all have no idea and shrug and say avoidance is the only way not to react to something. But I can't avoid everything so I have no idea what to do.
I am getting bugged daily at work by management to get proper documentation and medical proof of my sensitivities. Apparently the 'duty to accommodate' is only for conditions with hard evidence and not things like fibromyalgia and chemical sensitivities since those are diagnosis of elimination.
Yup. No hope left.