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Loosing hope of ever recovering

Aug 29, 2016 5:24 PM

So after being poisoned by the local airport 'being more environmentally friendly' and allowing the deicing fluid to decompose naturally in the fields in April my sensitivities have increased substantially. Every week the airport cleans something to do with the deicing crap in the evenings, so the chemicals become airborne regularly and if the wind is going the right way at the right speed it gets into the building at work.
I've been reacting to a lot of things like laundry products, personal care products, smoke, vehicle exhaust, air fresheners, cleaning products, paint and so on. So really I react to people and places.
Well I was hoping that I would get better, I don't expect a full recovery but I was hoping that I could tolerate people and places. Nope.
Haven't washed my car since getting poisoned in April and it was really bad and since I'm now parking in the driveway so my little trailer can be safe it looked awful so I had to wash it. Turns out the soap at the car wash is lemon scented. I don't know why I expected any differently. I mean it's only the OUTSIDE of the car. Why shouldn't that be scented too!? So dizzy and unfocused from that I somehow drive home in my cleaner looking car. And im now parking outside, not safe at all!
The neighbours are doing laundry again. It seems like they've been doing laundry for the last 2.5 weeks straight and it all hours of the day. Saturday before last we had the window open (which we usually do at night to cool down the bedroom) and I had worked evening shift so I was trying to sleep in when I was woken up by not being able to breathe and dry heaving from the laundry products coming in the window. Their drier vent is on the same side of the house as my bedroom window. Anyways I have no idea what they are using or if it is something that someone who is staying there has decided needs to get used (it never used to be this bad) but I can't tolerate it. I got out of my car today and got hit by this laundry smell.
So much for washing the cooler for the trailer today. So much for pulling the dead stuff out of the garden. So much for harvesting the peas that are ready.
I can't go outside. I can't open the windows. I can't go out. I can't do things that need to get done. All because my body has decided that it needs to react to everything.
Increased food intolerances. Increased fibro pain. Increased digestive issues. Increased stress.
Don't know how to approach the neighbours about it, I've never met them.
Boyfriend seems to think I'll get better and stop reacting to everything and brushes me off when I get upset about reacting to something.
He's also the one who gets mad when I say I don't want his chain smoker dad or scented lotion obsessed mom in our house because I want it to be safe for me.
I've lost all hope of recovering at all.
The cleaners are coming tomorrow, it's on my file that im chemically sensitive and that they have to use certain cleaners, we'll see if anyone reads it before spraying chemicals everywhere. They can never seem to find the key so I'm guessing no one reads the files.
I'm supposed to be going to a wedding on the weekend. I'm actually terrified of going. People wear perfume on these special occasions that usually don't touch the stuff. Smokers, food, hillbillies and their modified trucks. It's going to be an interesting wedding. Wouldn't it be fun if I puked on someone, or passed out? I haven't had a chemically induced seizure yet but I was told that if I don't move to cleaner air and stop working that it'll happen eventually (apparently it's progressive and causes brain damage and once you get bad enough to have chemical seizures its game over and you'll never be in society again, at least that what the chemical sensitivities group on Facebook keeps telling me)
I am just so lost.
My appointment with the allergist is set for the end of January. But they test reactions to proteins not chemicals and there is nothing that can stop a chemical reaction. Doctors all have no idea and shrug and say avoidance is the only way not to react to something. But I can't avoid everything so I have no idea what to do.
I am getting bugged daily at work by management to get proper documentation and medical proof of my sensitivities. Apparently the 'duty to accommodate' is only for conditions with hard evidence and not things like fibromyalgia and chemical sensitivities since those are diagnosis of elimination.
Yup. No hope left.

Aug 29, 2016 6:25 PM

Gotobef, I feel so badly for what you're going through. I can't even begin to imagine what that is even like. Nobody should have to live like that. There is one think I need to say and that is that there's ALWAYS hope... You have to hold onto it. Instead if focusing in on what you can't do today, focus on what you CAN do today.. There's something I'm sure of it. And it doesn't matter how small, it's still a victory and a step closer to being better than the day before. I'm not saying that it'll disappear but I AM saying you can choose r yestzddfggBbto do something and not sit around and be less than

Aug 30, 2016 7:10 AM

Im so sorry u r going thru all this crappers goto ⚘ its not living... its existing... and thats not right for anyone. 🌷 i wish i could add more... but Alwayz is right on the money 🤗 we all have to find a little hope and hold onto it by the balls! 🤗 we are here for u 😚

Sep 01, 2016 2:54 PM

Gotobef, when my allergy tests are done they treat for animals, plants, food, and things like oil products that come from plants. The doc said many cleaners use these oils for scents. When my asthma & allergies hit me in 2001 it took them 9 months to get all my meds correct (type & dose), which includes steroids are high dose. In 2004 I went through allergy tests and took the sublingual treatments for 2 years then went on injx another 2 years. I've not needed injx or sublingual a allergy treatments since coming off in 2008. They have had to change my meds quite often, either type or dose or adding a steroid meds. Last year was my most recent adjustment. Every time I get sick with sinus or chest congestion it requires Prednisone to get over it. I cannot use perfumes, scented tp or tissues, makeup, laundry detergent (I have to use dreft or ivory soap flakes), house cleaners, etc. Being in public places I can't control causes me to wear face masks and avoid gatherings unless I can position myself near an exit. I understand what you're going through. There are so many situations you'll find yourself in that you have zero control. The best thing to do is to remove yourself as quickly as possible. If others get offended that's their problem. You can't control whether others wear perfume or use scented detergents or cleaners or smoke. You just have to be prepared for when you are exposed. My first reaction to exposure is leaving the area to somewhere I can take good clean breaths in. If my breathing is still affected my next action is to use my emergency inhaler, twice if necessary. My last action is to go home, or go to the emergency room. These are the steps my allergy doc set for me. I have asked people in public to please blow their smoke (cigs & Vapes) away from me, explaining I have asthma and smoke is a triggering factor. All but one person has always politely apologized and stopped using their cig/vape device. I do avoid many gatherings rather than expose myself. My hubby has learned to go without me. Your allergist or PCP should be able to write a letter supporting your allergies and sensitivities, regardless of there being test results or not. When I worked my PCP wrote any letter needed by my jobs, including I could not take a TB test due to adverse reactions to the serum given. If your workplace isn't cooperating maybe you should check with your startes labor laws to see if you have protection that way. And you might want to consider finding employment in a less aggravating atmosphere, if not with that company then maybe a new job elsewhere. I wish i knew other suggestions to help. I totally understand how stressed this is and how frightening an attack can be. Unless you've gone through it (or witnessed someone doing so) there really no understanding of the emotions. But as AlwayZ said there is always hope. Kill with kindnesses if you must. 😉 Try and stay calm and think through all the possible steps you might need to take, along with possible outcomes and needs to change your steps, including the possibility of changing jobs. I changed jobs from a place where I was staying sick, and found a much better job. As for the neighbors dryer vent... Go to a store and purchase an elbow shaped vent piece then approach your neighbors, explaining your allergies and the need to open your window at night & how the dryer blows towards your window. Ask if they'd be willing to place the elbow vent onto their dryer exhaust so that it blows away from your window. Good luck with the neighbors. Hugs love & prayers you'll find a way through handing all this! 🙂💕🙏🌸

Sep 01, 2016 4:51 PM

Oh my gotobef, how I feel for you. There is not much more help or advice I can offer, the lovelies before me have done so very well.
Please don't give up on you, we are all given our trials, some more than others.
There is only one thing I know that may/may not help although you probably use something non allergenic anyway. I use an Australian made product called Moo Goo. Originally designed to help keep the farmers hands soft while milking the cows. Their range is fantastic, everything from shampoo to eczema treatment, babies and now animals. It may be worth a shot.
Sending gentle hugs and pure air 😊🌻💜

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