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Lost in Fibro world: stress effects

Nov 09, 2015 3:19 PM

Hey everyone! This is my first day on this app, I'm almost in tears being able to find a community that I can ask questions, comment, encourage and be encouraged.
I want to tell my story. It might be long but it will not be boring.

11 years ago on Feb 24. I, with 3 of my sisters (20yrs. 12yrs. 9yrs. 8yrs. Old) and my niece (2 yrs old) ( I have 11 siblings, 4 step sisters and 10 nieces/nephews)
This was the first time we had been allowed to see our 2nd Eldest sister in 5 years.
The 5 of us piled into the car, so excited to be on an adventure with our sister Trista (20yr). Half way down the dirt road she stops the car making sure all seat belts were on correctly. My sister Tam (8yr), siting in the middle seat, had not put hers on. We than had to tighten it to make it safe as she wanted the freedom to move how she pleased. We are all incredibly grateful for this moment.
We continued to the end of the road, getting ready to turn onto the highway.
I remember thinking how beautiful the snow was, the way it came hurtling down but so gentle at the same time. How it was almost impossible to see further than 10 feet in front of you. That in this perfect moment with Trista and Hannah in the front chatting away, Tamara beside me playing peek-a-boo with Kieannah, I felt so free and happy.
We turned onto the highway, I watched the field go by out the window, listening to the various conversations in the vehicle.
We had been on the highway for less than a minute when my world went black and quite.
I woke up, head still turned towards the window, being forced to lean forward. The drivers seat crushing my neck , my seat crushing from the other side and feeling the seat belt cut across my lap and chest.
I couldn't move. I could hardly breathe. I begged the paramedics not to touch me. I screamed for my sisters and cried for my mom. I blacked out several times between them extracting me from the vehicle and getting me prepped for the ambulance.
During the times I was awake, all I could see was the snow falling towards me and hear screaming and commotion through the ringing in my head.
I found out later on we had been rear ended THREE times by a 14 wheeler. The third impact sent us spinning off the road into a field, narrowly missing a telephone pole.
I woke up in the hospital in a neck brace, barely able to move.
We were being watched and protected that day. An Advanced life Support Ambulance had been on its way back to its home town after transporting a patient. They saw the whole accident.
I had no breaks or fractures but had severe whiplash. My sisters in the front seat suffered from whiplash and my 2 yr old niece from a broken foot.
My 8 yr old sister was in a comma for 3 days. Had it not been for that ambulance she would have drowned in the blood flooding her lungs.
At 9 years old, the night of the accident, I stood outside her hospital room begging for her life in exchange for mine. What was I going to do with out her?
11 years later the 5 of us share a bond that the rest of my family will not understand.

11 painful years later I have been diagnosed with Fibromyagia and hyperthyroidism, it slowly getting worse and more intense. Shortly after my diagnosis my relationship became abusive. He didn't want to take care of me. Despite me still doing most everything (from working to taking care of the place) in his eyes I became weak, pathetic. Soon I was b**ch or sl*t. It became a game for him to see how long it would take until I cried and couldn't take anymore. I couldnt do anything right. He often told me maybe if I cried and begged he would stop (nope.) During our year long relationship my health plummeted. I went from being able to work 10 hr shift (not with out stuggle or pain of course) to barely being able to work 6-8hours and now on medical leave.
It's been 1 week since a few of my friends and family helped me pack up and move while he was at work.
My pain level has been intense but my stress level is much lower.
I feel disconnected from my emotions.

This week I start my journey to manage the pain and to find myself.
I'm scared and I don't know where to start. But I do know that it's time learn to care for and love myself
I never knew how much it would hurt to have people tell me "There is a lot less of Bethany than there was last year. I want her back." But them never fully understanding why I'm not me anymore
How worn out I am. How lost I feel. How foggy my mind feels. How crippled my body feels from the pain.
I will be me again. One day.

Lost in Fibro World.

Nov 09, 2015 3:45 PM

I'm so sorry you had to go through so much❀ I also have fibromyalgia one of many diagnoses. Doctors think it was brought on after I had a hysterectomy. As with most autoimmune diseases they come on because of a traumatic injury to the body. One thing I know for sure is that STRESS causes the pain to worsen. Many people Dont understand the pain. I hear you don't look sick..."Thank God" but I am. Sounds like you've made the first and probably the hardest step tword becoming the best you possible. Don't become discouraged, as finding the right combination of medication that works for you might take a few hit and misses. Good Luck and God Bless..

Nov 09, 2015 4:01 PM

Welcome, BirdieBabe. Your post has touched me deep. Right now, I'm praying for you, as I type. Congrats on your survival thru an abusive relationship, first of all. I can relate, having come thru a simular situation. I hope that this app and the friends here will be a consolation to you. I hope that you can find either a meds regimine, or alternative method which works for you, very soon. Hope you have a blessed day!

Nov 09, 2015 4:30 PM

My favorite is "you're to young to be in that much pain"
What an ignorant thing to say. There are kids who are sick before they even leave the womb.
Thank you so much for the encouragement I knew stress played a part in sickness but I didn't realize how big until it was to late.
I'm extremely lucky to have people around me that were able to recognize the abuse when I couldn't and pull me put before things could continue to escalate, I didn't realize how cut off I had become from my family or my friends. Having my support system cut down made me feel like he was the only person I could rely on despite how awful it was. I wish I saw the signs of it before I had moved in but I'm out now and I can't dwell on the past.

Nov 10, 2015 11:02 AM

BirdieBabe, welcome to our community family. You will find comfort here, with no judgement or criticism. We're all different in our health, personal lives, even our faith/spiritual/personal beliefs. You can feel free to advise, question, vent, cry, laugh, joke, or whatever you feel. You are among friends here; friends who totally understand chronic pain.

I'm so sorry for what you've gone through, & praising God you all survived for each other. I'm also thankful you safely escaped from that brute you were with! I have fibro, sjogrens, & Hypothyroidism, among many issues. It's hard dealing with so many things. But finding this wonderful, supporting group has helped me through many difficult times. I oppose you settle in and feel at home. Good luck & God bless, with ((hugs)) & a prayer for you and your family. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Nov 10, 2015 11:59 AM

Is your hyperthyroidism noticeable or is it masked by your other symptoms? How do you manage it? Do you.have the heart plantations?

Nov 10, 2015 8:36 PM

Yes I've had palpitations for over 20 years. My endocrinologist said by lab work I'm considered sub-clinical hypothyroidism. But an ultrasound and MRI showed a damaged thyroid, and since starting on the meds my symptoms have improved. She said because of the improvement in best to start on the meds, even though my PCP wants me off. When I was dx with hypothyroidism, I was also dx with the sjogrens. Not knowing much about either one I researched them. I was surprised to find out they share common symptoms with each other and fibromyalgia. As for managing, I take everything one day-hour-step at a time. (((Hugs)))! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Nov 11, 2015 2:08 AM

I was really surprised about how many shared symptoms there are to!
I'm starting Lyrica tonight so I'll see how that goes

Nov 11, 2015 5:59 AM

Keep us posted on how you do. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Nov 11, 2015 9:06 AM

Good luck on the Lyrica. We will be standing by and waiting for you to update us. Sending {{{Hugs}}} and prayers that you have success with it. πŸŒ»πŸ™πŸ»

Nov 17, 2015 10:31 AM

Hello and welcome.

I have recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia but I think that I've had it for years. I have been in car accidents, suffered from an abusive relationship myself too and over the past few months my life has gone downhill so quickly, I'm almost certain that I will loose my job as it is very physical which will probably mean selling my house that I've had for a year and can't move into because it had a leak back in February

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