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Major pain

Dec 05, 2015 11:09 AM

Back pain and thighs hurt so bad. My husband really doesn't understand my level of pain. He thinks I don't want to be with him. He tries to cuddle and that hurts and he pulls away. Relationship not in a good place.

Dec 05, 2015 11:37 AM

My husband left me for another woman because of it. Something I never thought he would do. He has only been in a few relationships including me and is a very commitment type man. We are together now but we have been to hell and back numerous times because of my health and the damage it has caused in every aspect of my life.

Would your husband go to a counselor and your doctor appointments with you? It took a lot for my husband to understand. I had seizure like things from pain and my husband understood that but then they put me on meds and he thought I was going to get better. It took him sitting in the doctors office and the doctor (ok doctor, pain clinic, specislist) telling him I am never going to get better that I can only learn to live with it.

I wish I had words of wisdom. If you bleed people get it, they see it but pain they can't see so they don't get it.

Dec 05, 2015 11:48 AM

So sad that that happened. I'll try to get him to go with me but I don't know if he will.

Dec 07, 2015 10:47 AM

Nellieq, I'm sorry. I've been married 34 years, and over the past 17 we've had some issues over my health, but especially since 2010. I had surgery and my health has declined and keeps snowballs with more issues. I heard the same from my hubby with every new med/treatment, "maybe now you'll get better and be healed.". Like Shammagren, I started asking him to go to my appts with me. My rheumy doc gave him the " 1...2" scolding when he remarked the same to her. She educated him that my issues will never go away and I'll never be healed. Since then (8-9 mos ago) he has been my advocate to all who comment similarly. He now understands that physical touch can and often does cause pain. Our relationship is much stronger, and with changes in trying to make, we are able to get out and enjoy some things, more than last year. It's hard getting others to understand, and its taken my whole family seeing my strength, balance, and other symptoms take me down to begin to understand. It's not going to be easy but hopefully your husband is committee, through good & bad. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers! 🙏🌼

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