As I sit here in bed already, I've been here since 3.30 today, I'm having a rather long painful flare up so obviously feel more emotional than normal. I'm trying to make my mind up if I'm staying in this relationship to keep a roof over my head or if I love my fella that much I'm prepared to deal with his s**t My partner is an arse hole who puts himself, football and all his friends before me. Our life during the football season is a strict timetable, his friends are in our house 3,4 sometimes 6 times a week to watch football and on a fri they come to drink till all hours of the morning. I'm in bed from about 7.30 pm every night that they are in, I feel like I'm being excluded from having a life. I'm beginning to feel like the proverbial chief cook and bottle washer as he does absolutely nothing. I have to give in and do it eventually because seeing the mess makes me agitated and stressed. We don't do anything together other than a once a week trip to the shops for his beers and any other shopping we might need. We have no intimacy other than me to tickle his arm all night. He speaks to me really aggressively and as if I'm a piece of something on the sole of his shoe in front of family and friends which embarrasses me no end.
I gave up everything to be with him and I regret it with every fibre of my being right now. I'm so upset and feel like just packing my bass and leaving it's just hard as I have nowhere to go to and not enough finances to start from the beginning again. I'm so sorry to moan at you all.