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Mental exhaustion with chronic pain

Oct 25, 2016 9:03 PM

Hi everyone!
I'm so glad I have found this community!
I want to know about coping skills and such you have used to help with mental fatigue and exhaustion that inevitable causes depression and anxiety.
To keep this short I will use bullet points to give a quick overview of my life's story:
-20yrs old gain 80lbs in 8 mo. After years of drs, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
-fast forward 7 years and I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer early into stage 3.
-I had a full thyroidectomy and since have been plagued by all these "other" issues, including:
Chronic fatigue
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Tarsal tunnel syndrome etc.

I am 30 now with two children 5 and 3.
My husband has been disabled for 3years with OCD. I am for the most part the rock in my house, as I have been the "healthy" one. I am the sole care provider for my kids, And I have to continue my duties despite my ailing symptoms.
I'm so tired at night I go to bed with my kids and when I wake up with them I felt like I didn't sleep at all.

I see a therapist weekly and she has been a wonderful help. But I can get so lonely and depressed about everything and would like to know what you all do when chronic stress is influencing your day to day life.

My husband and I are not on the best terms, mainly because we are both in our own battles and it's hard to get past them to help each other.

I was denied disability and they stated I was "just under requirements" so we are stressed to the max with finances. And unless I can find a job that gives unlimited/ unscheduled time off for my bad days, I don't know where I could work!

I am a writer and photographer, music lover and love doing anything craft related, but l can't seem to get anything beyond the basics of life down in a day; eating, sleeping, taking care of my children, my husband, the chores of the house... (which my kids do "help" me with, but sometimes it's just more work!)

Help! I'm so lonely and miserable...

Oct 25, 2016 9:27 PM

I'm sorry things are tough. I struggle greatly with fatigue too. I have been put on a few supplements to help with energy and sleep which you can get without a doctor. I also try to do as much sitting down as I possibly can. There are certain things I have to accomplish even if it's the worst day so there are definitely days where those are the only things that get done. I have found that some things I just had to reduce my standards like house cleaning. As far as the loneliness, I have found these threads and other ones to be really helpful. Even just reading to see that there are others in the same boat as you helps me through sometimes. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Oct 26, 2016 1:06 AM

Hollz -
Am so sorry you are struggling so. I can understand being a caregiver whether you feel good or not..

Are you going to fight the disability denial? Most are denied the first time. I was too. I talked to a lawyer and he said to do a - forget what it's called - but the paperwork saying you don't agree with their decision. My lawyer told me to write down a typical day for me. I went further. I wrote a letter to the hearing board.. (or whatever they call themselves) In this letter I outlined what a typical day is. I didn't exagerate or anything just outlined it in a matter of fact way. Then I told them of how I always wanted to be a nurse and finally - at an older age. (I was almost 40) I completed my degree with honors. I went on to do home health nursing. I explained how much I had come to care about my clients and that's why I had to give up my career after just 4 years as a licensed nurse. I talked of my kids events I had to miss. (I was a single mom...) I put everything I had in that letter hoping they would see me as a person and not a number. They did and I was approved. I heard from my lawyer that my letter was what made the difference. It personalized me to them...

So - if you do appeal. (Knew I would eventually find that wayward word. Lol) you might consider that approach.

Oct 26, 2016 6:40 AM

Thank you both so much! I know I have a short window to appeal. Gives me something to think on!
And as far as the loneliness goes, I do find great comfort in these threads in this community. It's so hard to relate to people who don't "feel" the same type of pain.

Oct 26, 2016 8:34 AM

Welcome to the community HollZ. I hear what you're saying loud and clear. I sometimes feel that I could cope much better if I was rested. I have several issues (so many that there's never enough room on the forms you fill out at the doctor so I have a file that I bring and give a new doctor copies). At any rate, I find that looking for the gifts in each day and keeping positive as much as you can does help. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from being stoic and I have days where I wallow and cry and I have been to the point of being suicidal. It's a matter of changing your mindset sometimes and making the choice to be happy and having a good life despite the pains. I give you kudos for being so strong and being the sole caretaker of your family. I hope that your hubby appreciates you and that he at least tries to support you in any way that he can. Sending positive vibes, good karma and well wishes your way. {{{Hugs}}}💕

Oct 26, 2016 8:36 AM

Thank you so much for your kind words! ❤️

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