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mia & adi

Mar 14, 2017 10:15 AM

I've been offline for over a week, dealing with my dad. We have moved him into a real rehab facility 40 minutes away from me, 20 min away from other siblings. The previous rehab was not doing therapy because they were actually more of a nursing home. They kept him doped up on something (didn't chart it) so he wasn't a bother to them. He was hallucinating and he kept getting up by himself to potty and fell twice. They took the walker and wheelchair or of his room. Omsbudsmen will be hearing from us! They actually tried to block is from taking him out by staying he was physically and verbally abusive (several facilities told us is written in the referral)! He's never got anyone, and he would snap or cry out in pain "please don't touch me there" or "let my arms go" because he couldn't use his hands to push himself up (they were trying to lift him to stand...Not a way to teach someone how to walk on a total knee replacement).

He's in a great place now with skilled nurses and a wonderful PTOT team. He's not on too much meds and is getting clear thinking, actually remembers some of the surgery. We meet with the med staff yesterday and my stepmom plans to take him home at DC. But before she can they send out a PTOT member to watch my dad ambulate in & out of the house. I spoke up and asked for home health to go by frequently to check on meds & well-check. I had to speak up and ask for transport to his hearing aid appointment and his follow up to the surgeon (stepmom just isn't remembering to do anything).

I was actually shocked my stepmom is taking him home, after hearing her say, "I can't do this anymore. I didn't bargain for all of this," repeatedly to all 4 daughter's in the last 2 years. My baby sister is adamant she isn't taking him back home, but while I'm (& 2 others) are here sitting with Dad in the daytime, and (I hired) CNA's for night shifts (he isn't too be alone because he can't get up unassisted) the baby sis is having a good old vacation in the islands with her family. She has only texted once in a week! I'm not even telling her about the meeting.

I've pulled the longest shifts between me, stepmom, and 2 sisters (1 brother won't help because he doesn't like places like that!), running on anywhere from 1.5 to 5.5 hr sleep each night. Someone has to relieve the CNA's at 6am and I did it yesterday, leaving at 5pm. I was going to be there this morning but...I'll explain below. Instead my other side showed up this morning, traveling 20 miles to do so. My stepmom was 3 blocks away in a hotel and didn't show up until 9 am!

Last night as my hubby and I were about to sit down for fresh grilled burgers, his phone rang. It was the assisted living where his mom's at: she was unresponsive & twitching. They rushed her to the ER by ambulance and we meet her there. All labs were good. CT showed more changes in brain but no bonafide stroke. They suspect TIA's &/or seizure due to meds (no history of a, but did have stroke 2013-2014). I notified my family I would not be at rehab hospital today (my sis stepped up). Yay! We got home late and had to define the cooties & germs from bodies and clothes (ER was packed with stomach and flu bug patients)! I think I hit the pillow just before midnight (6th night in the past 9 nights). I had to force myself out of bed at 8:30. But I'm so tired I want to crawl back in it. Only I want to be there for my hubby and mother in law. We are no stressed to find a full care nursing home for her, on top of everything else.

I'm sorry I'm MIA, and not here to support you all like normal. But I'm ADI (almost done in). I wish I could vanish like Casper right now and just sleep for days. Hugs love and prayers to all for a good day and week! Not sure when I'll get to come back on. My daughter car keys are missing, our bills are piling up to be paid (hubby has no idea how, as that was my expertise... So they lay and lay and lay). Ugh... 😖

Mar 14, 2017 10:16 AM

Oh yeah, my sjogrens, fibromyalgia, & IBS-C is on overload!

Mar 14, 2017 10:35 AM

Prayers and hugs to you!

Mar 14, 2017 11:08 AM

I'm glad your dad is getting taken care of and doing better. Sorry about mil. I hope you get some sleep and rest. You and fam will be in my prayers.

Mar 14, 2017 3:15 PM

Oh hun. My thoughts are with you. :( (((gentle hugs )))

Mar 14, 2017 10:32 PM

Your plate is way to full. I am sure your inflammation load is on over drive. Call me if you need an ear to vent. You know I am always here for you. Please try to get some well deserved rest. I am glad that your dad is getting the quality of care that he deserves.

Mar 15, 2017 4:58 AM

Oh Flappys, your whole body is in overload. You're now running between 2 people who need you and it's taking it's toll.
You and your family are in my thoughts and I'm sending you positive vibes and warm loving hugs to get you through this time until you can get some proper rest xx

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