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Mobility aids

Feb 20, 2017 12:55 PM

So I sometimes use a cane on flare days to give my hips extra support. These days are immensely frustrating, not just because dealing with a cane can be annoying and I'm always extra exhausted on those days anyway, but I constantly have to field the question "What did you do?"
I understand that I'm young and most of the time I hide my pain pretty well, but anytime somebody asks that (I got it about 15 times yesterday) it feels like they're accusing me of doing something to deserve my pain. Most of the time I smile and say "Nothing, " but it's infuriating that normally nobody cares if I'm in pain (even if I'm visibly limping), and when it gets bad enough that I do need the cane, suddenly everyone has the right to comment on it.
Thanks for listening (or rather reading, if you got this far), the last few days have been hard and I needed to vent.

Feb 20, 2017 1:24 PM

I'm sorry you're treated that way. I'm older and I look older than I am because my gray almost white hair. I sometimes use a cane. People must think it's normal for me to have one.

Feb 20, 2017 2:07 PM

I am 48 and have to use a cane or walker at times. People have looked at me funny for a long time. If they ask what I did or what is wrong with me I have started telling them "I received faulty genes". Half of them laugh and the other half look confused.

Feb 20, 2017 6:49 PM

Napsonthebeach! I love your answer! I didn't start using a walker until this last few years when my syncope episodes got bad enough that my family threatened a crash helmet for my head because they were worried about my constant fainting and falls. (Notice I said family, not doctor? Not one peep out of any of them! Barely any idea of what to do or anything to even help when I'm passing out in there offices and scaring the bejesus out of their nurses! LOL) But the walker serves as an itermediary between me and the ground now and gives me the extra stability. But one of my doctors despises it and keeps trying to make me dump it. I keep making his residents re- explain my reality to him. (He's a surgeon with a God complex and they still have some common sense and listen to patients. LOL πŸ™„) So I am old enough I guess now I don't get it from random people, but I do get it from doctors and others pn transit and the occasional snarky human who doesn't like having to sqeeze past a walker on a bus because I got on a mile before she did and I'm now too blind to drive because my immune system is attacking my eyes. (True story!) I'm so sorry Bexipode, try to think of it as them being compassionate. Most times that's really all it is, we may think of it as crass and intrusive, nut I'd rather they asked then assumed I was just using it for the affect or as some real winners have said, been one of those "free loading drains on society." Maybe I'm giving people too much credit, but I'd like to think that most of them are really interested in making a connection with their fellow humans, and hopefully a positive one?

Feb 21, 2017 1:09 PM

I always know they ask out of concern, but it's easy for me to get put off by it, especially at work. I still work 8hr shifts a couple times a week and they're hard even in a good day, so I get extra salty, but it bothers me more that they ask when I'm wearing my apron, but if I'm not, people will generally leave it alone. Maybe my problem is more with retail than with the general reaction to my cane lol

Feb 21, 2017 1:44 PM

I can understand where you're coming from, I don't use a cane or other mobility aid but I have trigeminal neuralgia which is nerve pain in the left side of my face. When I'm having a really bad day and nothing is helping my pain I have to put a 5% lidocaine plaster on my cheek, it numbs my whole cheek for 12 hours....it might not sound like much but when you have to wear a big white plaster on your cheek it's very noticeable and try as I might I can't hide away indoors as I have school run and shopping etc... to do. It causes me great anxiety to go out with it because people stare and sometimes I hear them whispering to each other about what it is I've done to my face and what if there's a big scar there etc....
I love children because they will ask me outright "are you ok? Why do you have a bandage on your face?" And similar questions and I say loud enough for people in earshot to hear that I have a medical condition that causes me pain and the bandage helps stop some of the pain....I get weird looks from the people around so sometimes I'm soo fed up that I stand up and take the plaster off and say to the parents/other people around..."where's the cut/scar/bruise if you think I'm lying" but most times I explain to the child show them the plaster and walk off shaking like a leaf, get the bear minimum of shopping I need and leave as quickly as possible. My anxiety is bad anyway and I can't go out on my own if I have to get shopping or anything which means my 10yr daughter basically comes out with me wherever I go so she sees it as well and now she's started to stand up for me which also causes me upset because she is a child and I should be protecting her not her protecting me 😒

Feb 21, 2017 5:07 PM

I used to use a cane, but my hand and arm pain helped convince me to graduate to a wheelchair. I get asked "What happened?" A LOT. I usually answer "Nothing new. It comes and goes." That answer either 1.) reminds people of my condition, or 2.) confuses them enough to drop it. Anyone who cares enough to ask a follow up question has earned a better answer. Although I have to say, I get way fewer questions in the chair than I did with the cane. Maybe the chair intimidates the nosey folks. One more point for the chair!

Feb 21, 2017 5:11 PM

That's a wonderful reply. I've been having issues with hand and arm pain with the cane too, but I don't have to use it that often, so I'm hoping I won't need a wheelchair for a while if at all.

Feb 21, 2017 5:30 PM

I had problems with a traditional cane also, so I graduated to a forearm cane or walker depending on how far I have to go. The forearm cane keeps my wrist more stable and reduces the strain on my elbow and shoulder.

Feb 22, 2017 2:00 AM

I use a cane on many days, like on campus or short trips. Longer outings i will use a wheelchair. I have had family and friends that made comments, but in the end we know our bodies best.

I'd rather use the mobility aids and enjoy some time out then be in pain shortly after the outing begins and for days after.

Feb 22, 2017 2:10 AM

Bexipode, it's such a pain in the ass when that happens. I use a cane from time to time for balance. I cant be bothered with questions that people want justification that you need the damn thing. I don't use it much any more because of the pain in my shoulders, arms and hands.
Try not to let their thoughts get into your head. They don't get it and really can't get it if they don't live it.. try to forgive their ignorance and don't let their negative thoughts become yours. Sending you {{{Hugs}}} and well wishesπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ’•

Feb 22, 2017 10:30 PM

Sezzy, I understand your concerns for your daughter mine grew up seeing a great deal of mom's illness and how people reacted to it and how it affected our lives too. Just be reassured that it can make for a very compassionate and giving, beautiful and caring young woman, at least it did with my daughter! My disability allowed us to spend much more time together talking and reading and I helped with her and her brother's homework and listened to their dreams when I was stuck at home bed bound.

Feb 23, 2017 3:51 AM

I love using a cane. I dont want anyone getting close and bumping me. It is a warning. People in pain need to use a cane to keep people away. My sister just gave me a walker and l am going to use that in the airport...l have a sling and a backbrace to use as well. I forgot to pack my tens unit.

Feb 23, 2017 1:08 PM

Back in January a friend gave me this thing her husband had seen advertised on TV. Don't know what it's called but you know when you open your car door there's that metal ring the door (when closed) latches onto. Well this gift you put it into that metal circle. And you have an instant (and sturdy) handle to use to help you get up. It also has a flashlight, a cutter to cut away seat belt in emergency and a handle to break Windows in emergency. I thought it was cool and that my mom could use it. Ha! Had surgery Monday and this little gadget has been a lifesaver when it comes to getting in and out of the car. Going to see if I can find it online so you will see what I.am talking about.

Feb 23, 2017 1:12 PM

Here it is:


I keep it in that storage bin in my door so it's always handy. And heck - I bet it would hurt more than my keys if someone were to try to attack

Feb 23, 2017 1:50 PM

That sounds wonderful and super handy! If only I could attach it to every chair I ever have to get out of!

Feb 24, 2017 8:57 AM

Sprowett I can only hope that both my children become as compassionate and caring as your daughter, my daughter also has her own issues as she was diagnosed type 1 diabetic last August which was a headturner with all the info and everything

Feb 27, 2017 3:19 PM

Oh Sezzy, my heart goes out to her! That's a tough one! I grew up in a family of diabetics and was constantly checked with 5 hour glucose tolerance tests as a kid! I was hypoglycemic and dealt with that my whole life, which meant my diet was regimented and I ate very little sugar unless I wanted to crash into a low sugar episode and feel like crap. Even drinking was pretty much out. It took getting really fat for me to get diabetic, and now I'm brittle and tottering on the edge of the two.

But teenagers, especially, hate having diet restrictions and having to plan activities ahead of time to match what you are putting into your mouth is hard emough on an adult.

Feb 27, 2017 4:04 PM

She's had her issues with it and will do as she gets older, we've got her to realise that this is for life and if she doesn't look after herself then she'll either have serious complications in the future or it could mean an early death if she doesn't take her insulin.
She was a child who could eat and drink full sugar stuff and never go hyper but now I know when her blood sugars are even just slightly high as she now goes hyper and that doesn't mean it's because she's had a load of sweets, she could of just had a normal healthy dinner and I could of underestimated the carbs so she hasn't had enough insulin. I've learned a fair amount about food because I need to know it like when she has something to eat you have to count ALL the carbs and not just the sugar values because all carbs are complex sugars and the separate sugar values are normally added refined sugar or they're even natural sugars like honey. It's completely mind boggling what a label shows and doesn't show....I've found "diet/health" foods that say they're healthier than the normal version but they are higher in sugar and salt because the fat has been taken out! Sometimes you can't do right whatever you do so on my good days I cook from scratch and bulk cook but on my bad days where I've run out of my bulk cooking I do get quick easy meals whether it's crap oven food or a microwave dinner or a takeaway and I try not to feel guilty because I just can't do it and I have had a few words with the Pediatric Diabetic Dietitian about this and I've told her yes I try to do as much as I can but I'm not well also so I can't do everything plus the new dietitian is a little unrealistic in her expectations and she's tried to convince some of the other families to become vegan.....she'll have no such luck here, Jo goes around saying she loves pulled pork, ribs and sausages, she loves chicken curries, KFC, chicken nuggets, and any beef mince dish like spaghetti bol, chilli, cottage pie also stews with dumplings and steak and kidney pies so she doesn't mind pigs, chickens and cows being our food!!!! As long as it's not the cute animals like cats, dogs, rabbits and so on πŸ˜‚
My 10yr daughter has a strong will when it's something she believes in and she believes in her food!!!! lol πŸ˜‚

Sorry I've gone off on a tangent again!!! Lol I just can't help myself especially if it's something I've been holding in and I'm dreading her next consultant clinic because the dietitian will be there and I've already had a few snippets of what she thinks with regards to Jo's diet.....it really doesn't help that when I go to these appointments I'm already anxious and in more pain then add her to it? Well it'll go one of 2 ways I'll either burst into tears or I'll get really angry and she'll get my full force but I'll more than likely burst into tears if my recent feelings are taken into account!!!

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