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mother in pain and depressed

Oct 20, 2015 10:10 PM

Ive had fibromyalgia since I was 15. Im 21yo and became a mother 4 months ago. Now I also have severe depression and I feel bad cause I wanna be a good mother and wife but I feel mentally ill. Everything else is good in my life. I feel sorry for my family cause they haveto deal with me. I had very bad anxiety yesterday and I just woke up at 4:20 am and came here to share my feelings to prevent anxiety attack.. does anyone had familiar situations? Being in pain sucks, anxiety sucks but it sucks eaven more cause I cant show it to my baby, got to take care of him everyday.. My mother helps me sometimes if I have too bad pain situation when my husband is at work. Sometimes I cant get out of the bed cause of pain, but I do, because I have to. Xx

Oct 20, 2015 11:38 PM

Yes I raised my children in pain, I am thankful for all the people who helped me.

Oct 20, 2015 11:55 PM

I also would like you to know my son grew to be a wonderful husband. And father of three. I had no husband, we were poor, he had to grocery shop, cook, clean and even learned to drive at 12. At thirteen I asked him to stop helping me because I wanted him to have is own life. He became very upset as this is his only momma
He did leave me and marry, have children but I will always be his momma no matter how I am. The same will be for you, your husband and your child. All hard work but worth all the blessing. I have fm, cfds, sever depression, diabetes, chronic back pain and now pancreatis. Love is amazing healer

Oct 21, 2015 12:54 AM

MoShell that is encouragement for me regarding your son. Mine had to grow up fast as well and stepped in almost as a father figure from nine onwards to his siblings. He did laundry dishes housework. Then I had my accident and he had to help dress me, change my diapers he called it (menses) and take care of the kids at 14, until my brother stepped in and has taken over. Thankfully I have improved enough to change my own clothes. I take the babysteps as milestones. I am one of the Jr chronic pain sufferers. I have only had chronic pain for 15 months since I met with an accident. I also have RSD, PTSD, anxiety disorder, insomnia and depression along with sensory defensiveness.

Dianav, I am glad your mom can help out when times are tough. I wish I could send the sand man over to you and all the sleep deprived people in this community. It makes a world of difference when you get quality sleep!

I am on a tangent but my brother has suffered from severe depression for over 12 years. We go to a depression. support group together and someone in the group said her psychiatrist will not take a new patient unless he/she has a sleep apnea test. So after nagging and nagging my brother he finally went for a sleep study and he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. He has had the c-pac machine for three weeks and suddenly I got my fun younger brother back. He is not 100% cured but I have seen a 85% improvement to the point where I don't feel so bad asking him to get my lunch or bring me water or ask a task - while my bum rides on the couch to destination nowhere watching time go by elevating my foot. Before he made me feel like quite the burden but now he seems to genuinely help me and the kids. He is also spending an hour a day with my autistic son which was unheard before the cpac machine. Anyway my long winded point is sleep is important and if you got to the end of this post God Bless You.

Oct 21, 2015 1:48 AM

Equine, I'm not trying to sound rude, but did you notice the sensory defensiveness when you were diagnosed with ptsd or before? I have noticed recently that the more I go to the docs, the more unnerving getting touched is becoming. I don't know if it is related to issues that happened in my past( I think I can finally say it now, but I was molested by my PCP as an adult) but any touch, just creeps me out anymore.

Oct 21, 2015 8:27 PM

Dianav, I'm so sorry you're struggling with this pain and depression. Have you talked to your doctor? When my youngest was 6 months old I started being depressed. When she was 10 mood old I was hospitalized from a complete meltdown. I had not mentioned the depression to any doctor. My oldest came home with head lice and then 3 weeks later chicken pox. The baby got it and so did their father. Five weeks of sickness depending on me for care. The the baby got sick with a virus and started sick for three months. I collapsed mentally and physically. Please let your doc know, and ask family and friends for 30-60 minutes of baby sitting so you can take time for you and rest. Hugs & a prayer going up for you! 🙏🌼

Oct 22, 2015 2:19 AM

Hi Amanda, I don't mind the question and I am sorry to read about your horrible experience with a Dr. I had minor issues growing up like tags and elastic waists and it had led me to cut my clothes growing up. But my current sensory defensiveness happened after my accident. My children want to tap me in the arm to get my attention and I go bananas. I never liked hugging much before coming from a non-hugging family (cyber-hugs are great though ). But now I cringe at it. Simply everyday noises bother me. I can't stand the sound of this light airplane that seems to circle over our house lately. My friend gave me ear plugs. But the weird thing is at night I have to sleep with a fan on - if you switch it off at night on me then I get anxiety. For a while I thought everything I ate was rotten, but thank God that is improving. My therapist said when a person goes through trauma a layer of skin is peeled off. It is very true for me. And since I am not mobile at this time I am not meeting my sensory needs I did meet before the accident. My son has autism and has sensory defensiveness too.
I hope you feel better. 🌈🐴

Oct 22, 2015 7:11 AM

Diana- hi there. I am a counselor and what your describing can happen even to those with out fibromyalgia. Definitely check in with your doctor. You are a new mom... This is joyful and scary at the same time! You are responsible for another being. Anxiety and panic attacks happen a lot at night while people are sleeping. Mainly because your body and brain are trying to relax but because something is bothering a person or something stressful is going on when the body finally relaxed it is used to being in stress mode so you get woken up in a panic. I myself have had them, mainly when I am really overwhelmed.
But go see your doctor and I hope that they subside for you!

Oct 22, 2015 8:55 AM

Dianav, welcome to our family community. First I would like to congratulate you on the blessing of your precious new baby. It sounds like you may be dealing with some post pardim depression which is common after having a baby. I am sure it's exacerbated by the pain of your fibromyalgia. I would definitely speak to your doctor and let him/her know what is happening. I hope and pray that you find some relief soon. You will start to feel better and you will be a good Mom. Keep in mind that you didn't expect or ask for this disease, but have it just the same. Understand that you cannot blame yourself for your ability or inability to do certain things. That does NOT make you a bad Mom, Wife, etc.. I know you feel like you are burdening your family but that's not the case. Have a chat with hubby and let him know how you feel and that you appreciate wherever support he gives you and that it's very important to you. I hope and pray you get to feeling better soon. Know that there is always someone here for you to chat with when you need to. There is no need to worry about your mood because this is a safe, no judgement zone for whatever you need to discuss. I am sending you gentle {{{{Hugs}}}} and will keep you in my prayers.🌻🙏🏻

Oct 22, 2015 9:03 AM

Amanda and Equnesister, I am sorry that you are having these horrible PTSD symptoms. As humans, I know we all need to have physical contact of one type or another. It saddens me to hear what happened to you with your doctor, Amanda. I hope that you reported them and had them removed from practicing medicine. Equnesister, I remember you telling me that you were not a huggy person coming from a non-huggy family. However what you suffer with now sounds so utterly distressing. My heart goes out to both of you. I'm sending you both gentle {{{{Hugs}}}} and prayers. I understand the fan thing at night because I have to keep the tv on at night for background noise or I have no chance of going to sleep at all. I hope that everyone got some rest and has a peaceful and less painful day. 🌻🙏🏻

Oct 22, 2015 12:29 PM

Hi Dianav, welcome, I was thinking the same thing that Alwayz said. Postpartum depression is real and can be debilitating. I had it severely with my oldest daughter. I could barely leave the house and laid in bed at night paralyzed with anxiety. Being responsible for the life of a little baby can be overwhelming. Some people do need to be on anti depressants especially if you suffered from depression prior to having a baby. I hope you can get some relief. I'm so sorry you are suffering so badly. Blessings to you and your family. ✌️💜

Oct 22, 2015 8:13 PM

I've only watched part of it, have to wait until little one goes to bed. So far it's spot on!

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