Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Moved to Tears

Dec 20, 2015 4:01 PM

I have never been a part of a community... Never had anyone with a chronic illness as a friend. I've been alone and ignore the symptoms living in denial. As my family members "forget" I'm sick. Which I hate even saying. I was labeled the"sick" child. But I've fought so hard to not have this disease define me. I've been so strong for myself relying on God alone to set me through. Honestly after reading some post I was moved to actual sobbing tears. It's important to have people going through it with you. So when you reach your tough patch you know you're not alone. I am the type of person to push Myself crawling, bleeding, guts oozing out, to the finish line before I admit I'm in unbearable pain and need a break or admit I can't anymore. God is so good! I am a suicide surviver and most of my family members still don't know. In the secret place of deep bottomless Pitt depression God saved me. From opening up the door on the highway and letting my body roll into on coming traffic or from being on vacation with my family at the top of a light house only hoping quietly to myself it was high enough to kill. We fight an unbelievably difficult battle but it isn't impossible. My old life was snatched away from me in high school I'm only 23. I'm still in denial and it may be the cause of reckless choices that hurt me more later but I am going to live my life! noo matter what(.) I have dreams and after traveling to 4 countries last year despite all my illnesses and pain I made it. I refuse to lye down and give up like the enemy wants me too. I was given this life to do something with.limitations or not failing kidneys, meds, debilitating excruciating pain flares or not I'm going to finish my fight you better believe that! I've come too far to throw in the towel now. So thank you community I don't say much but I do read. Keeping pushing keep fighting
You are worth more than you know.

Dec 20, 2015 7:03 PM

Welcome Dreams,
I'm glad you found us. ☺❤❤ I'm also pretty young, got really sick at 14, but always had pain. I totally get the pushinh yourself thing...last year during my final project I was trying to get up and go present even though I was passing out and hallucinating. My dad took me to the ER, but I just wanted to make it to the presentation.

I'm glad you've been able to travel, I haven't really. You seem pretty upbeat, which I admire. I tend to be pessimistic about pain, but I guess that's my way of coping...

Dec 20, 2015 7:47 PM

Thank you 😊 I'm still learning to balance myself and not push too hard. As if I'm still able bodied because it does lead to some serious consequences... Like I didn't know I was walking on a dislocated knee ended up snapping the main muscle.. I may be a bit destructively in denial so I'm hoping the community will help me. Not to ignore symptoms and balance better

Dec 21, 2015 3:47 AM

Dreams29, welcome to our community family. Whatever you need to help you achieve balance and get through, we are here to help you. I am glad that you found us. I am sorry to hear that you are suffering at such a young age. I know that Ferretbandit said she tends to be pessimistic about pain but she's really a very focused, strong and wonderfully bright and helpful young lady. I think that being as young as she is, she can sure help others around her age better because she's right where you are. That being said, the rest of us are here whenever you need us to be. We are here to listen to you vent, hear your fears, give you support, etc. it doesn't matter what time of day or night either. As you can see, it's 4:43am and I'm still up because of pain and really need to get some sleep. I hope that you find being here helpful and that you get the information, support and understanding that you need. Sending you positive vibes, gentle {{{{Hugs}}}} and prayers.🌻🙏🏻

Dec 21, 2015 8:44 PM

Welcome to our community family Dreams29! I'm glad God saved you from your attempts or thoughts. He interceded for me twice. You are so right, that we are all worth so much! Ferretbandit is a very bright & talented young lady, with wisdom and insight of her own to share. And I'm sure you have a lot of wisdom to share yourself, but take your time. And wheyher you post a little or a lot, you are still a welcome addition to our very supportive group. I'm off the older generations, at 54, but I've learned a lot from the younger gens. (((Hugs))) & prayers for continued strength & determination to keep living! 🙂🙏🌼

Dec 22, 2015 12:07 PM

Thank you dreams, wonderfully writen, and my thought exactly. i don't live up to other people's expectations just my own. The struggle is real but I refuse to say my disease, it lives in my body but I don't own it and I never will. Most importantly it does not own my heart, my soul or my dreams. Need to hear what you had to say, thank you. Moshell

Dec 22, 2015 12:16 PM

You go girl, you are rocking your own world! I am so grateful that you were born, maybe not in my biological family but I will adopt you as mine own right here right now! Depression along with chronic pain issues can take a toll on ones' will to push through. Yet , what I can see in you is that you are not a victim but a strong willed survivor! Take us with you as you journey in this life. I will be waiting to see what wonderful stuff you will experience and share with us. Love and Blessings, Terri

Dec 22, 2015 5:17 PM

Awww thank you all for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers!😊💕

Dec 24, 2015 9:56 AM

Terri, you are an amazing person. So supportive and absolute positive force of good and strength. You must have been a wonderful and caring and compassionate nurse. Your patients were very lucky to have had you caring for them.💕🙏🏻🌻

Dec 24, 2015 10:14 AM

I enjoyed your words Dreams. I am glad this place has been a comfort to you as it has been to many. I really respect you for not letting your pain get in the way of your dreams. That you are able to plow ahead. I am physically disabled and I was a salesperson. I really miss it. I made excellent money at it but it was also my career. I loved marketing. I tried my best to continue to plow ahead but people were able to read the pain in my face and it affected my sales. I went from being the best to the worst. So it encourages me when I hear someone who is able to continue to accomplish what they want despite the pain. I respect you for that. Going to four different countries. That must have been awesome. No holding you back but feeling the pain nonetheless. I am happy for you.

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community