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My daughter is at it again

Aug 28, 2017 3:32 AM

Ok, my son and daughter in law bought me a ticket to come visit them. Awesome! So I've been getting ready. Getting everything for Lilly (my service dog) and trying to make sure that everything is clean in the house. With fibro flaring, some weird new jerking thing and my vertigo all cranked to high.
My daughter decided to break down crying about how john doesn't watch for anything and he's not responsible. that she's scared I'm not coming back, I'll die and leave her alone. Plus I always care for her dog and if I'm not there Violet will get loose and get run over or stolen while she's at work.
I try to explain that it's only 10 days, I'm sure her brother can watch me for that long. Lol.
I ask what am I supposed to do. She says nothing you can do, you just have to live with the fact that I'll be scared and upset all the time your gone. And Violet will just have to get over that you are leaving her here alone......my daughter is 30. She lives in the house next to me. ...I was in tears after awhile. I don't know what to do. She's in a lot of pain too, but that doesn't excuse this.
Down to 3 days before I leave and I have to fix the dog yard, (because now I am worried about violet. ) shop and clean and cook so my family is set for 10 days. Plus vet check, hair dr appointment. .....and she won't help because she hates I'm going.
I can get everything done. ..I'll be a wreck on the plane and several days after, but I can do it. Or I can try to rest up for the 9hr flight that terrorizes me, leave the dishes and laundry and try, try, to have fun with with my son.
Anyone have anyone like her in their life? How do I handle her and survive?

Aug 28, 2017 4:03 AM

I'm so sorry your daughter is behaving this way she sounds very immature and selfish. I have a disabled mother who is very similar. You just need to think that she is a big girl and she can and will look after herself she is being so very selfish and I think you need to tell her this. You need to pace yourself and just do what you can so that you don't crash and "it will do" so what if the dishes aren't done they will cope. You go and enjoy every minute with your son and don't feel guilty. Sending you big hugs and I hope you will feel a bit better and not let your daughter affect you too much xxxxxx

Aug 28, 2017 2:20 PM

I'm sorry your daughter is not being fair. You should go . Have a great time . Take it easy trying to get things in place before going 🤗🤗 I am almost 35 and no way have I ever acted that way. Best of Luck. Go enjoy yourself 🤗🤗

Aug 28, 2017 4:14 PM

Thank you. Since I know this doesn't really go anywhere, I should share with you something. Both my care giver and my psychologist say what she does is elder abuse. I've had both promise not to do anything about it, because I can't survive without her and I know she's just going through some things. But I don't know what to do. I know she manipulates me, puts me down, tells the world how hard it is having to take care of me. I know if she ever lays a hurtful hand on me, I will turn her in. But there's got to be some way to do what she wants. This time I can't. My son bought the tickets and even though she has me in knots over it, I don't think anything will happen to her dog since I won't be here to babysit it all day. I'm going in circles. My mind is so confused.

Aug 28, 2017 10:10 PM

@ElentraVitra. What is going on is not right . But I do understand. If that makes sense. 🤗🤗 please Go Enjoy yourself . You will only be gone for 10 days. Sending prayers your way and your daughters way 🤗🤗

Aug 29, 2017 5:15 AM

I've begun this many times but then I get interrupted and my reply disappears!!!!

Right ok firstly ElentraVtra the cleaning and shopping will still be there when you come back, why do you need to do any cooking? Is it just your daughter or do you have other family members that you need to cook for as well? If so then why can't they "fend" for themselves? You're going to your son to have a break and enjoy yourself you dont want to spend most of the time with your son in bed in a flare so just relax and prepare Lilly and yourself for the flight and the break away.

I'm sorry to say but your daughter is a very narcissistic person! With people who are narcissistic they only care about themselves and don't think they have done any wrong and they're actions are perfectly normal and ok (yet if you treated them that way all hell would break loose!).

What you need to do is set some very strong boundaries with her and keep to them if you can, she will still try to manipulate you and all that but if you keep to your boundaries then things should hopefully get a little better???

Sending you positive vibes and warm healing hugs XX

Aug 29, 2017 12:03 PM

I 100 % Agree with Sezzy. . I mean it in a Respectful way. Take care of yourself and Lilly 🤗🤗🤗🤗

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