My name is Nathan and I've been on disability for about 13 years due to bipolar disorder but about 3 years ago I was diagnosed with degenerative disk disease. I had a disk-o-gram done and got Osteomyelitis that went undiagnosed for about 2 months. I was in so much pain that I wanted to shoot myself. Finally an MRI was done again with contrast and they found the infection. I was on IV antibiotics for 4 months to get rid of the infection. The infection ate away a couple of my disks and now a bad situation is permanently worse. Although i've decrease the amount of pain meds I take I still am on a pretty good dose just to walk. Ive had the nerves burned and that helped but it may be time to do it again. Anyway that's my story. The difficult thing I deal with now is my wife's encouragement. I'm actually doing pretty good with the bipolar but lately I'm struggling with depression due to being stuck in bed so much. My wife still treats me as if I'm massively depressed and just need encouragement to get up and moving. I get treated as if I wouldn't like to go for walks with her and my kids or out shooting hoops or whatever the activity is. I feel guilty that I'm not teaching my kids to work hard and I see them acting as if they have a medical condition of their own that keeps them from enjoying life. It's so frustrating. I dose myself up sometimes just so I can go do things with them. I hate being this way and I don't know what I can do to make it better. I've done therapy both in the pool and weights. It helps some but not enough. The hardest part is people acting like I don't ever want to do anything. I used to work out all the time. I was just over 3% body fat at one time and now I'm in horrible shape. I know some of you can relate. I'd love to hear what you do that helps. Thanks for reading my long post.