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My mind isn't cooperating!

Jul 10, 2015 1:09 PM

I've been trying for two weeks to get medical records together for Mayo, and get some info to my SSD Atty. My mind is not cooperating & it's frustrating me and stressing me out! I'm either having mental blocks of "what an I suppose to be doing" of suddenly getting sidetracked. I feel like it's overwhelming me, that it's just too much. It's causing procrastination to a small degrees too.

Six years ago my mind was sharp as a tack. I'd get up early and face my tasks strongly and with fierce determination, one at a time. I could get so much accomplished in one day. But now I'm lucky if I get one thing complete in 3-4 weeks. It's partly the fibro fog I'm sure. But this is so opposite of who I use to be, and I hate it!

I don't know if I'll be back on until I get this stuff done. If you don't hear from me just know you are atop in my thoughts and prayers. Everyone have as good as possible, fun or relaxing weekend, whatever your body needs. May you all be blessed with a reduction of pain! 🙏🌼

Jul 10, 2015 1:28 PM

Know the feeling hunny. I use to work 5 days a wk run about the house making meals for family caked, cleaning doing about 4 loads of washing a day and now lucky if I manage 2 loads a week! I hate this life and the person I have became! I just constantly feel like I'm a burden to everyone! X

Jul 10, 2015 9:08 PM

Flappsy, I can sympathize. I used to be very sharp too. There have been times when I'll speak to someone on the phone and the next day forget what we spoke about or sometimes have even forgotten I spoke to the person at all. It makes it really hard because they think I'm a whacko... LOL!!! (I am a Whacko, but I don't need to be reminded of it daily😜). I hope you get done what you need to. As soon as you think of something write it down so you can't forget. I pray it gets better for you. You're always in my prayers Flappsy.💕🙏🏻🌻

Jul 10, 2015 9:36 PM

Flappsy I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time getting this done in time. Maybe you should make a list and as you get something done check it off. I know How my memory has gotten I have to wright every thing down, and then go off and leave my list.Lol. Hopefully you won't have to hard a time. Take care of your self, will be wishing you the best, will be looking forward hearing from you. Will be praying for you. Hugs Here's hoping for less pain, and getting good rest.

Jul 10, 2015 10:03 PM

Thanks mrsflossy! It is very frustrating. I sat for six hours straight working on the hospital registration and some of the paper records. I have to say I'm relieved at getting that much done, even though there's still 2x as much left undone. Unfortunately by sitting over a computer and desk, looking down, my muscles are all right and cramping. And my calves are too. I hope I can sleep tonight. I'm definitely running voltaren into my legs! BTW...I do hate where my life is, but I don't hate who I've become. I'm feel like I'm still the same me, just older, slower, and handicapped because of the health issues. I hate the issues! You're right about feeling like a burden to others. It bothers me to have to ask.

AlwayZ, thanks! I've been a little whacky since high school myself. My sisters and I use to do some really crazy and stupid things, just for fun... It's amazing we stayed out of serious trouble or didn't get hurt. But at the time it sure seemed fun! Lol I forget conversations thirty minutes after I've had them. My hubby and kids have gotten so mad with me for the last five years because I'd forget what they'd told me. I told my pcp and he blew it off to normal aging... I was 48 then!

As for making notes or lists, like you and Weezie suggested, forget it. It's not working for me. Thanks for the suggestions though, both of you. I have tablets all over the place but can't remember where I wrote what. I can't find anything anymore. I was a bank teller, a secretary & bookkeeper, and a medical records tech for crying out loud, but I can not keep things organized anymore. I had 5 errors in the check book register when the statement came, again (monthly since November).

I really think something happened to me in the past two years that's caused the dementia they diagnosed me with in January. I had two MRIs of my brain two years apart, and suddenly there are changes in the right frontal lobe. At the time I was having bad headaches in the right forehead area, but they said it was just my migraines changing. What really scares me is the possibility that I could have early Alzheimer's because it runs in my family.

I guess it could be worse... I can still find my own underwear and clothes... Not wearing my hubby's! Lol. 🙈🙊🙊.

Goodnight y'all! 🙏🌼

Jul 11, 2015 9:30 AM

LMAO, Flappsy!! I'm glad you're not wearing your hubby's underwear... I love your sense of humor. We all need one with the situations we have. I, too, hate my situation but not who I am. I used to be so reckless and did crazy things for fun and laughs. Now, like you, I feel like I'm just an older, slower and handicapped me because of the issues. My issues are not me and I am not them. (Although it's hard to peacefully coexist at times). I pray that you don't have early onset altzheimers. You are such a gift to everyone you've touched. All the best to you, as always, Flappsy. Try to give yourself a break today and let your brain recharge. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Jul 11, 2015 10:33 PM

Without a sense of humor I think I'd be bonkers by now. I knew I'd make you laugh! Lol. Today was spent working through all the records to pull out what Mayo said was needed. I just stopped for the night but I'm ticked off. An ENT doc I saw back in 2010 for allergies, asthma, tinnitus, & dizziness, wrote in his notes a diagnosis of Meneires disease of the ears... He failed to tell me or my PCP, who mentioned 2012 that I had the symptoms. He sent me to a different ENT who didn't agree and chalked my dizziness up to allergies without further study. I don't know much about it but it frustrates me because I feel like there's been a lot of unnecessary wasted time running to and from doctors. If Mayo determines it is Meneires I'm going to be more than ticked! 🙏🌼

Jul 11, 2015 10:47 PM

I don't blame you!! How can a doctor come up with a diagnosis and not give it to you and then the next dimwit tells you that you have allergies and doesn't test further?!?! I'd really be ticked as well. I hope that you get the correct answer. Also, I agree, seems you've been jerked around from pilar to post and for no reason. It IS sad that doctors these days really only treat "parts" of you when you're a whole human being. If it were done to them, they wouldn't like it!! I long for the days when you called your doctor and he/she treated you for everything from. The common cold to stitches to broken bones and more!! You could go in and the doctor (if he was good) knew all there was to know about you and only if there was something they couldn't figure out, they sent you to a specialist. Medicine today is nothing more than a business and we are nothing more than medical codes and billable hours!!! Praying for you that Mayo takes really good care of you. I wish I could go with you so if they didn't, I could beat them up for you... LOL!!! 😉 hope you get rest tonight and feel better in the morning. Try not to get too annoyed, it's not worth it. Love and prayers. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Jul 11, 2015 10:57 PM

You're so right about getting annoyed at him not being worth it! I told my hubby I'm a good mind not to take any old records, just so Mayo looks at everything without tainted opinions from other docs, like the one who blames the dizziness on allergies. Which this is the first summer I've been totally allergy free... Must be lack of rain, as mold is enemy #1! After all they have the neurologists records from his referral. Anyone have an opinion? If love to hear it.

I hope you get a good night's sleep to! 🙏🌼

Jul 12, 2015 12:38 AM

I would take all the records and then 'sit on them'. Tell them you want an untainted opinion and will give them the records after they diagnose you if they want them.

Jul 12, 2015 10:47 AM

Flappsy, I never gave it much thought until I ready your post. It does however, raise a good point. To have these doctors look at you not only as a whole person and not parts of different illnessss but to see you with no preconceived notions of your diagnosis. This way, they are giving you THEIR opinion based on their tests and not comparing to ones you've already had. I would have them with me and tell them that after they have done their tests you'll gladly show them your records but would prefer an unadulterated opinion based on their findings. Of course, when you go, they will ask you questions. They can't have nothing to go on, but the records really could wait. Hmmmm. If I have to change doctors for anything, I'm going to do that myself. Let me know what you decide and of course how it works out. As always, you're in my prayers. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Jul 12, 2015 5:00 PM

My mind keeps going back to not letting them have the records. I am taking them all with me, but I'm only giving them any records for dizziness or the brain MRIs. After all they are taking me into the clinic for dizziness, imbalance & movement disorder. My neighbor said, "Let them form their own opinion. No one up here did you any good.". 🙏🌼

Jul 13, 2015 10:42 PM

We're packed mostly but will finish in the morning. I've had a very bad day. I got up feeling great and about 10:30am I was bent over picking up clothes. When I went to straighten up I felt a sharp piercing pain shoot from my lumbar down into the left upper thigh. The more I straightened up the more I felt a pinching and tingling in my lumbosacral spine. The muscles to the side and into the buttock keep spasming. It's been over twelve hours of ice, heat, massaging voltaren cream in & muscle relaxers, and very little relief. I just want to cry! 😢. We leave for Mayo in the morning and my stupid back decided to go out before the car ride. I dread the ride more now than i did before. This is a chronic issue with my lumbar & sacral spine & SI joints, ever since 1998. It has put me bedridden for days. I've done all I can do, including packing the heating pad. I hope it will ease up if my body relaxes to go to sleep.

We will be late afternoon getting to the hotel. I can't use tablets in the car due to vertigo, motion sickness, etc. Hopefully I can update Wednesday with positive news, after the exam. For now I'm going to get pain meds.

Goodnight & may you all have a restful night with renewed energy and less pain tomorrow! 🙏🌼

Jul 14, 2015 5:50 AM

Flappsy, I'm sorry that happened. My prayers are with you. As you told me, place it in God's hands and He will get you through. Try to put the seat back to a cozy position and get some rest. Sometimes sucking a peppermint helps with nausea. I hope that your trip is a good one and they help you. I'll be looking for your next post. {{{{hugs}}}}

Jul 14, 2015 7:31 AM

Thanks Always, I'm doing just that! 🙏🌼

Jul 17, 2015 12:26 PM

So at the Mayo exam my doc instructed me to push, pull, lift, lower, forward, backwards, etc. It didn't matter what he said, my brain caused my body to do just the opposite. The only time it was funny was when I accidentally stepped on his foot! It's like my brain hears & my body responds dyslexically. I actually took the wrong meds one day recently. I have an appmed reminder and thought I had the right meds, but it wasn't until after I swallowed it that my brain said, "that pill wasn't the right color!" Wow, wonder what else is in store for my mind? 🙏🌼

Jul 17, 2015 1:02 PM

Keep that sense of humor, Flappsy!! It will serve you well. Mayo will get to the bottom of it and I have a good feeling you will find more clarity of your mind. Just something I feel in my gut. I'm usually not wrong when I get that. I've taken the wrong pills before and it was muscle relaxants early in the day (they gave me oblong ones instead of round and I thought it was something else until I swallowed it and said.. Oops, guess I'll be going off to sleep soon..LOL!!! You're in my prayers, as always!! 💕🙏🏻🌻

Jul 17, 2015 3:03 PM

Well at least you didn't accidentally take laxatives! 😉. I feel good about Mayo. Thanks! 🙏🌼

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