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Feb 27, 2015 9:37 PM

So I'm a new mom. I have a 9 month old baby and I'm 22. I'm super overwhelmed on how much help I need with him and how hard it is for me to take care of him...not including getting actual house work. I'm exhausted and stressed. Any advice on how to cope with the pain and staying on top of my responsibilities? Its so difficult with the pain and excessive fatigue.

Feb 27, 2015 9:48 PM

Accept any and all help offered... Ask for help when you really need it. Do you know anyone in a similar situation to you? You could perhaps help each other out. Work out what is really important to you and focus on making that happen. If you don't get everything done, does it really matter? Make sure you take time to enjoy your little one and find a bit of time for yourself each day as well. Its amazing what 10 mins with a hot drink can do!!! See every decision you take as an achievement. Be nice to yourself and try to follow the advice you might give a friend who asked you for this advice. Positive thoughts winging their way to you

Feb 27, 2015 10:09 PM

Do five minutes at a time. And rest frequently. Set the timer if you need a reminder to rest. Let baby nap on you so you aren't tempted to get too much done during nap time. Learn to have a less clean house. If it bothers your husband/whoever you live with they can step up and do more. If they don't have time, consider outsourcing laundry or hiring someone to come in and clean just the bathrooms or just the dishes. But not everything. Then you will overdo it cleaning up right before they come over.
I look at pictures of my house when I had one baby vs my house now with three. I'm amazed what I thought was messy then. Chances are that what seems really bad now actually isn't.
Ask other mom friends to come give you a hand or single friends to come chill/play with your baby while you nap. Most are willing or even excited to if you let them know you need it.

Feb 28, 2015 7:44 PM

Torianne, Are the baby's grandparents nearby? Consider letting them have the baby for a few hours. I'm a grandmother and I rarely turn down any chance I get to have my 8 year old granddaughter. She's so spoiled, but in a good way. She doesn't get everything she wants, but she gets what matters. If grandparents aren't close by, what about other family or friends? Also, many churches near us have "mother's morning out" 1 day a week for 3-5 hours, where moms do whatever they want or need. It started when my youngest was born, and its still going strong. I think I paid $5 per child.

Feb 28, 2015 8:17 PM

Torianne welcome to out group. The most important thing is your baby and you,I learned a long time ago that my house could wait. They grow up so fast and you need to enjoy the baby. Take a nap when baby does, call on grandparents I'm a grandmother but don't get to spend much time with mine because they live in another state. I would jump at the chance for a sleep over or sped in the day with her. Call u our girl friends, a church that has a mother's day out like Flappsy mentioned. Maybe hire someone to come in and clean and do laundry for you a couple da ays of week, better yet build a fire under Daddy to help out more. Best of luck

Mar 01, 2015 10:17 AM

I absolutely agree about building a fire under daddy.

Mar 01, 2015 10:23 AM

Oops, hit post too soon. If a man can help create the baby they can help with the baby. When my girls were babies I got up during the night because my husband worked. But when he was home in the daytime he helped feed, change, and bathe them. When they started school it was time to teach them modesty, because my oldest came home and said a little boy pulled her dress up. We stopped daddy bathing them and I bought bike shorts for my girls to wear under all their dresses. By the dad taking part, it helps them bond.

Mar 02, 2015 6:35 AM

Thanks for all the advice and ideas! I'll give them a go and just keep trying to not over do it.

Mar 02, 2015 9:34 AM

Best of luck Toriannr. Keep us in the loop.

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