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Sep 23, 2016 10:08 AM

I have posted a couple of comments on others posts but I am new to this support group. I had a horrible morning and needed to share. My 15 year old is a wonderful but typical teen. She can be very rude to me. I guess I'm suffering from fibro fog so sometimes my words don't come out quite right. She snapped at me and made me very sad. I know I shouldn't let her get to me but this has been a terrible week for me. I've been very tired and achey . I have been crying off and on since 730 this morning. She just doesn't get it.

Sep 23, 2016 10:26 AM

Welcome to our community family Cicci! I'm so sorry what you're going through with your daughter. I can totally relate. I have a grown daughter who has easily put me in tears since she was 2; she can be very harsh but she got it honestly. My hubby, her dad, has always been this way. But he no longer affects me to tears because I'm able to put him in his place, but for some reason not the daughter.

Anyway, I suffer from fibro fog and dementia, so I struggle a lot with words and sentences. But I asked my hubby to go to appts with me because I was having trouble remembering what the doctors said or what I needed to tell them. He happened to say (stupidly ignorant) that he'd be glad when I could come off my meds and get better to go back to work to the doc. My doc swing around angrily and said, "you apparently have no idea what your wife is going through!" Then she spent the next few minutes educating him that things will only worsen for me and it's a constant struggle. He's a changed man let me tell you! He has become my champion, defending and educating others now.

Have you thought of having your daughter go with you to appts? It might help her to understand you word challenges, though it likely won't change her teenage sarcasm. That will only get somewhat better after age 23! πŸ˜‰ Lol.

Try not to cry anymore today. I know it's upsetting and depressing. But think of one thing to be grateful for today, listen to some relaxing music, take a stroll in your yard or neighborhood, snuggle with a book, or watch a funny movie... Anything to get your mind off what she said. Then try and enjoy the rest of your day. Otherwise you let her control your day & you. It's easier said than done, but it gets easier each time. I'm sending you big gentle hugs, love & prayers! πŸ™‚πŸ’•πŸ™πŸŒΈ

Sep 23, 2016 10:39 AM

Am so sorry Cici. She sounds like a typical teen. :) I imagine on a good day you would have just let it pass. When we are in pain, dealing with fog etc. we also tend to be more emotional. The smallest things can trigger melt downs etc.

Take some calming breaths hun. Think about the things you love about your daughter.

Have you ever read the "letter to normals"? Maybe it would help to give her a copy. Perhaps you could establish a code word with her that you could say to let her know it's not a good day and to please be patient with you.

I don't think anyone can really understand unless they are also dealing with Chronic pain as well. All we can do is try to educate others and to be kind to ourselves when others can't or won't understand.

((( gentle hugs )))

Sep 23, 2016 10:40 AM

She sounds a lot like my 14 yr old son. He, too, is a "typical teen". He views my chronic pain primarily through the window of how my condition impacts his life. It's normal, but it can be hurtful. He says rude things about my condition sometimes - mostly when he is inconvenienced or scared. I try to remind myself that I'm not the only one experiencing the devastating effects of this disease. He just wants a normal life with a healthy mom. If I'm being honest, that's the same reason I get upset too. I try to be understanding. When I can see things from his point of view it hurts less and I am better able to give him the love, sympathy, and understanding he needs.

Sep 23, 2016 12:13 PM

Thank you Mimikay, I found a letter to normals to share. It fits me to a tee! Great idea and a good way to share my feelings/condition.

Sep 23, 2016 9:08 PM

Am.so glad you found it. Another good one is the Spoon Theory.. I think that's what it's called. Hang on - let me go get it for you.

Sep 24, 2016 10:49 AM

Thank you

Sep 24, 2016 11:06 AM

Welcome @Cicci!!! It is very difficult especially when your loved ones don't understand...when you are having a bad day your pain and emotions are entertained.

I think it is important to constantly make yourself you number one priority. As a mom this is hard to hear but if you don't have anything in your cup how can you pour into other cups.

Remember to take some time for YOU! I hope you are doing better🌸

Sep 24, 2016 11:44 AM

Thank you bravesnow. Today is tough...😞

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