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Jun 28, 2015 10:40 PM

Hi my name is Dawn and I have 3 kids who all have autism. It's a daily struggle to take care of them. Everything hurts so bad all the time. I wish I could be a normal mom. I cry myself to sleep every night because I feel like I'm a failure as a mother. My own mother and my siblings have turned their back on me because they think I'm making it up.

Jun 28, 2015 10:53 PM

Welcome Dawn 021205 the first thing I want to say is you are a terrific MOM to your children, I know how hard it is to be a mom to one child with special needs, I know you must be stressed to the max with three. Is there a Church near you that has a mother's day out program, where you could drop them off if not for the day mayb e 4 hrs. Where you could get a little rest while someone else was watching them.

Jun 28, 2015 10:59 PM

Oops hit the wrong button. Maybe you could get your mom or a sister to go with you to your Dr's appointment the next time that you go so the Dr can explain your pain to them. It's hard for people who don't suffer with chronic pain to understand what we deal with 24/7. I am not making excuses for your family believe me because we all have gone thru that ourselves. Will keep you in my prayers.

Jun 29, 2015 6:44 PM

Hi Dawn and welcome to our community family. I am so sorry that you are going through the painful experience of having your family turn their backs on you and saying you are making up your illness. As Weezie said, most of us have been through this horrible situation with both family and friends and until I found this community, I felt very much alone. It has been a Godsend to be part of this wonderful group of people. We are all here because we have one major thing in common and that is chronic, widespread and dabilitating pain. You are certainly NOT a failure as a Mother. You did not ask to be given this pain and you certainly don't lay around all day in pain while your children are not cared for. You have to remember that nobody who does not deal with extreme pain all day, every day, have no clue or understanding as to what you are dealing with. Weezie had a great idea about seeing if there is a nearby church or someone that you trust that you can leave the children with for a few hours of the day so that you can get the much needed rest you are not getting. I can't imagine the pressure you are under having three children with special needs. You are in my prayers and I want you to know that when you are here with us, this is a no judgement zone. You can complain, cry, vent or reach out for a virtual hug, etc. There is always someone here to help you and to talk to you and hold your hand through crisis. That is the beauty of this group of wonderful people.... You can count on being understood, you will get the compassion you need and can share your experiences with others who have probably experienced some of the very same things you have. I wish you all the very best and I am only a keystroke away if you need to talk.

Jun 29, 2015 8:36 PM

Dawn, I'm so sorry your family is not supportive or helpful. But just because they say you aren't a good mother because of your pain... Bull hockey! You need to shake off their opinions and realize it's not quantity of time, but quality of time you spend with your kids. You are not a failure at being a mom.

You didn't mention their ages but even very young children have the ability to notice your pain. Talk to them and help them understand that in your good moments y'all can do simple fun things like having a movie night on the sofa or in your bed. Teach them little things they can do like getting the milk out of the refrigerator or setting the table, helpful things per their ages. If they're really small teach them to help clean up toys. My granddaughter use to help, and she'd sing a song from a kids show about, "clean up, clean up, everybody clean up," and now that she's 9 I've taught her to use my phone for 911, in case I have an asthma attack or pass out. Kids are resourceful beyond our expectations. My grandson, who is also autistic, is a very gentle caring person to people he sees needed help, like me.

Shake off your families negativity. They aren't worth your time or energy. Follow the advice of others posts. Check into mother's day out in your areas churches. Ask for friends of neighbors to watch the kids just looking enough for a refreshing nap. If you can, his a teenager to help. Teens not old enough for the work force but who wants $$ may help out for $5,$10 now and then. I found ten babysitters through our church, and my husband and I needed a little break from the kids. I'll be praying for you! ((Hugs))🙏🌼

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